Discordance

Chapter Twenty-Six

"But Dikshaaaa" Akshara whined dropping down on the couch in the living room as Diksha flitted about in the kitchen making food for the ladies. "I don't know what to do. It is all too soon, how do I even know this is serious?" She wanted advice but more than that she wanted to speak things out loud to ease her own mind and maybe come up with a solution.

"Ok then why did you not agree to being friends with him?" Diksha asked and Akshara was lost for words, if she knew why she would have given him an answer when he asked.

"I don't know" she sullenly muttered as she picked invisible lint off her dress, the very dress she was wearing in the kitchen when he had done THAT. Just thinking about the moment made her blush and her hand went to her neck, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where he had kissed her. How was it that the neck was more erogenous than her lips? Because while THAT kiss was also fantastic, it felt a lot like belonging or ownership when he had kissed her neck.

"Hellllooo?" Diksha's loud voice jerked her out of her thoughts as she realized that her friend had been talking to her while she had been lost in some non pg-13 thoughts.

"You were thinking about him, weren't you?" Diksha asked and nudged her to move so she could sit down and eat her food "It's written all over your face" she grinned before offering her a spoon of her soup. Akshara hastily shook her head at that, she wanted to eat dinner with him, they hadn't seen each other in a couple of days because he had been on call non stop or she was away and he had told her that he would be home tonight!

"No, I'll eat with Abhimanyu" she whispered, the blush refusing to die down on her cheeks. Diksha coughed loudly and grinned as she spooned some soup into her mouth humming thoughtfully.

"So let's unpack this, you get antsy when you don't see him, you mumble his name in your sleep, you eat only in his presence, he treats you like some precious cargo, you talk about him non stop but YET you are unsure if you like him?" she asked and her direction of questioning made Akshara squirm in discomfort. All of it was true but also they had a weird relationship right? So how could she know if she liked liked him or if it was inevitable to develop some warm feelings towards the person you shared a bed, room, house with?

Shrugging in response she began to collect her things only to stop short when Abhimanyu's text came through, letting her know that he would not be able to make it home that night due to some emergency. She irrationally felt like crying  and all the excitement left her body as she thudded back on the couch, what was the point of going home if he wasn't going to be there?

She jumped upright in alarm when Diksha's delicate voice floated towards her, she had almost forgotten her and now her friend would tease her about her obvious disappointment in her husband flaking on her.

"Akshu, this is what I mean. You and I are friends, right? If we don't see each other for a few days you'll be sad but whatever you're feeling right now is not sadness is it?" No, it very much wasn't sadness, it was more than that. Way way way more!

Wiping one stray tear from her cheek she laid her head down on the back of the couch closing her eyes, "think about it Akshu, why are you this sad? What do you miss?" Diksha asked gently and Akshara thought long and hard. There was no logical reason for her to tear up simply because she was expecting to see him and he was unavailable due to unforeseen circumstances. She missed him, his scent, his gravelly voice, his teasing and most of all she missed sleeping with him and feeling safe, like nothing could touch her in that moment. It was all too much for her poor heart.

"I feel like if I let him in like that he will hurt me." She mumbled another tear escaping and she sniffled trying to hold it all in "I don't have great experience with close relationships and Abhimanyu was so rude and mean earlier, if he goes back to that after making me feel like only I matter in the world, I won't be able to survive it. I survived a lot but this will break me" she finally admitted in the smallest possible voice