Discordance

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Akshara woke up sweaty and annoyed, her heart pattering out of sync and it took her a moment to get her bearings and calm her rapid heartbeat. This kept happening the more days she spent away from Abhimanyu and while she was slowly and surely changing to be a better version of herself, someone who knew her own worth and demanded that she get her dues, it still left some lingering bitterness in her mouth.

Her husband kept reassuring her the only way he knew how, by being loving and kind so she didn't think she could open this particular can of worms and bring their world crashing down. No, she had to learn to be better dammit!

Every time she told herself they were fine and things were lovely, Ishika's bitter words rung in her head and she would do a doubletake, reeling slightly at the realization that maybe Abhimanyu might not be as happy with her in the bed like she was. Maybe she wasn't doing enough, mostly because she didn't know any better but that shouldn't be any excuse right? She wanted to be an equal and giving partner in their relationship but it felt like all she was doing was taking and taking. Even their wedding was all Abhimanyu, but if she tried to protest and bring up her insecurities, he immediately shut it down saying that this was the least he could do. But what about him?

"Akshu Breakfast" Vansh yelled from the bottom of the stairs and she had to physically shake her melancholy off and put up a mask of calm to not worry her already agitated brothers. Now that they were paying all this attention to her, they would definitely catch it if something was amiss.

"No, everything is great. All of this is because you don't know how to live without Abhimanyu now and his absence is driving you crazy." She argued with herself looking in the mirror forlornly, once again trying to see what she did for Abhimanyu and why he behaved the way he did around her.

There were just so many things about herself she had learned with Abhimanyu that it almost felt like she was a child who was learning how to walk and behave in the outside world. Sure, she had lived a life before him but for the first time in her life she was thinking about her feelings and emotions as well as how everything she felt affected someone else this deeply. She trusted Abhimanyu with her heart but somehow, she still felt like she wasn't enough, all she had done was bring a lot of baggage with her that he unpacked lovingly, piece by piece, but how was it fair? To be a burden like this? And how long could she do it for?

"AKSHU C'MON" kairav yelled and she could heart the thundering of his footsteps on the stairs right before he banged on her door "wake up!!! We have lots to do before your party tonight" right. Fuck. Her party. She didn't want to celebrate if Abhimanyu wasn't going to be around but her brothers were leaving her no choice in the matter and to be fair, after she saw how enthusiastic they were about the party she couldn't put up too much of a fight. If they wanted to drink and be merry she would do it, but all the while she couldn't help the feeling of despair and just overall anxiety plague her heart.

"Coming...coming" she muttered bitingly, shoving the door open and glaring at her slightly surprised brother.

"umm are you ok?" Kairav bhaiya asked and once again Akshara had to shake the melancholy off and nod slightly less enthusiastically "yeah, just you know" she shrugged hoping her brother hadn't quite caught the disease that was sharing feelings and emotions that her husband was the sole transmitter of. When Kairav didn't look half convinced she tacked on a "missing Abhimanyu" refusing to look him in the eye when Kairav guffawed loudly and fluffed her hair before dancing out of the way from the smack she was about to deliver.

As they made their way to the dining table to get breakfast, Akshara's phone pinged with a text from Abhimanyu and all it said was an I love you followed by a pink heart and the small text caused all these emotions to rise withing her. She loved him so much that she could never quite put it into words and every tiny thing he did left her speechless and red in the face. Her shoulders eased from where they had crawled up next to her ear from the anxiety and she let out a small breath of relief. Everything would be ok as long as Abhimanyu loved her and her anxiety and spiraling thoughts were just that, thoughts.