Discordance

Chapter Forty-Two

"Break?" his muffled voice came through her hair and Akshara wanted to take her words back instantly, but her head was spinning with everything. If she pondered upon it, she would definitely come to the realization that she was pushing him away. A lot of it was because of Diksha's accident but now there was this added revelation about his ex and she couldn't take any more at this point in her life. She just needed a break from everything, she wanted to run back to Jaipur and force him to stay there with her. They had been so happy and content, but maybe it really was her bad luck because that happiness had washed away. She really didn't deserve to be happy maybe, like her bade papa thought and if Abhimanyu had a shot at happiness who was she to stop him?

Unfurling herself from his lap, she gulped her tears and looked past him "yeah, look Diksha is going to be here for a while, why don't you go home. I just need to focus on her, and I need a break from all of this." If she saw his heartbroken face, she would instantly crumble. She just needed to run away but she had promised him she wouldn't so this had to be the best-case scenario. Every time she saw him, she would want to hug him close and let him solve all her life problems but the turmoil within her chest would never be solved and he would keep getting dragged in the eye of the storm over and over.

He slowly got up and reached out a hand to touch her but Akshara flinched involuntarily, her head was hurting and the pressure in her brain almost brought her to her knees.

"Alright. If that's what you want..." he said and she couldn't gather his emotions from his tone, he too was hiding what he felt and it was for the best.

"You won't run away, right?" he asked before adding "Look the furniture in your apartment is set up already, everything you picked, please go there. And I know Diksha is here but if you need to shower and stuff, I'll bring your clothes here." Him being this thoughtful was making her tear up and she needed him gone ASAP. She had thought she was so special, and he cared so deeply about her, but this was who he was, he must have been nice and loving towards that woman as well, she wasn't special after all, he was just used to her and maybe he felt pity for poor stupid Akshara who had nothing and nobody.

She turned around, effectively dismissing him, but her breath hitched in her throat and a sob almost tore out of her mouth when she heard him whisper a soft "I love you, I'll wait forever if you want me to. Sorry I messed up." By the door before he quietly opened and shut the door. She didn't want his love; she didn't want anyone. She just wanted to stop feeling like this, like someone had taken a baton to her chest and beat her repeatedly with it.

She sobbed quietly the rest of the night and had to hurriedly wipe her tears when the doctor and the nurses came in the room at the crack of the dawn to check on Diksha. They threw her sidelong glances which confused her, was her distress this evident? It was only when the nurse called her "Mrs. Birla" that the brain fog cleared. If they had called her Mrs. Birla a mere two days back, Akshara would have felt a buzz in her chest and maybe donned a shy smile but today all it did was bring a world of pain. He had married her and told her he loved someone else, now that someone else was back in his life, so logic stated that he would go back to her, but then what about his claims of love? Her heart reminded her and Akshara felt the first signs of guilt. Maybe she too had fucked up.

When Abhimanyu's friend walked in to check on Diksha, Akshara immediately stood up crowding his space as she twisted her fingers. "There hasn't been much change in the swelling yet Akshara" he said kindly and Akshara's hope instantly dashed "But that's to be expected, her body has undergone too much stress in too little time so I don't expect things to change until maybe later tomorrow or the day after." He patted her on her shoulder with a "don't lose hope" before walking out and Akshara instantly rushed over to her friend's side, grabbing her hand.