Discordance

Chapter Seventy-Four

Abhimanyu turned around glaring at the person who had dared to stop him in the middle of his conversation but when he heard the soft pleading "sona" he felt like the world's biggest asshole, especially when he saw the way Akshara's hand was trembling and the unshed tears in her eyes. Maybe his face was still contorted with rage because she almost flinched away and stepped back and that was a wakeup call like no other.

He reached over to clasp her trembling hand in his and at the way she tried so hard to not recoil at his touch, Abhimanyu felt like his entire being was doused with icy cold water.

"Please be careful and change the things I asked you to." He threw shamefully behind his back and dragged Akshara out of the room, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Umm Maa, you guys can go in" he said in a small voice nodding his head towards the door and watched as his mother wobbled inside but not before throwing him a glare that made him feel so small and insignificant that he wanted to kick himself seven ways to Sunday. Normally he would go in and supervise but if he didn't fix things with Akshara he would regret it all his life.

So with a decision made, he pulled her behind him towards his office, his mind going a thousand miles an hours. Fuck! What must she think of him? She had an angry man in her life who had ruined her from inside out and now he was following in that despicable man's path. One inconvenience, life altering as it may be, and he had gone back to being a monster version of himself, worse actually because back then he hadn't owed her anything but now? Now she was his entire life and look at him.

As they turned a corner, Akshara let out a small gasp making Abhimanyu look down at her small form in a haze of panic only to see her looking down at their clasped hands and once again Abhimanyu felt so small yet somehow the world's biggest asshole and immediately he let her hand go, a hand he had squeezed so tightly that it was red. He was no different than the man who had been her ruin, he was worse than him because he was supposed to love and protect her yet here he was making her afraid of him by his own actions. He saw her turn up to look at him, her eyes flashing with fear and a teardrop clinging to her lashes and he had to look away like the coward that he was.

They walked in silence towards his office but he was just grateful that she was following him and not running away like he was sure she wanted to. Silently he unlocked the office and walked in tugging the unruly hair at the nape of his neck and all he wanted to do was scream in agony, scream so that the voice in his head would shut up for one hot second and so that he could breathe and feel like things would be okay and that he wasn't fucking everything up and that he wasn't a useless physician who couldn't even help his own family and that he wasn't a monster who hurt his precious wife, a wife who had been nothing but supportive and kind. She didn't deserve this.

The thought of Akshara made him turn around and his already battered heart broke when he found her standing in the corner trembling with fear and probably exhaustion as she played with the hem of her dress and stared a hole into the carpet of his office. No, he would beg for forgiveness and make sure she was alright because without her strength he would crumble but maybe it was time he stopped being so damn selfish.

He had found Akshara and practically forced her to be in his life and now he was unwilling to let her drift away because he couldn't be a well rounded individual who acted like his world had ended when there were other people who needed him. Getting a shaky breath out, he slowly walked away towards his extremely skittish wife and gently grasped the very hand he had squeezed to death and when she almost jumped a mile into the air at his touch, Abhimanyu wanted to bury himself six feet under.

Slowly he lowered himself onto the carpeted floor, resting his back on the couch before pulling Akshara into his lap letting her hide into his chest as he stroked her hair