Forbidden Love

Chapter 23

When the night is finally over, Becky is in the kitchen by herself cleaning up and drying the plates. The house is quiet and everyone is already asleep.

She couldn't look at Jane, let alone talk to her. So she send her home. This wasn't going to work and she didn't want it to work. She wants Freen.

She looks at the time and sees that it is almost midnight and she should really be asleep by now, since she only has five hours to rest before she has to start a new restless day. But she keeps thinking about what she said to Freen and how they might have had a great date and are probably now... she stops herself not wanting to think any further. She is her worst enemy sometimes.

She finishes cleaning the counter and then sighs tiredly. She turns off every light from the kitchen to the living room, and walks through the dark corridor before arriving at the door and walk up the stairs.

Just as she’s about to go, there’s a knock at the door. She frowns and grows a little worried, afraid of who might be here this late.

She slowly opens the door to catch a glimpse of who that is, and as she sees the person in front of her, she opens the door fully and suddenly gets nervous.

“What are you doing here?”

An answer doesn’t come.

“Freen?” Freen exhales deeply. She seems even more nervous than Becky is, which is a new thing for the brunette.

Freen never gets nervous. She never cries. She can barely get mad and two seconds later, she gives you puppy eyes regretting whatever she did or said. She is confident, playful and soft.

Becky almost thinks this isn’t really her.

“I couldn’t be there.” She pauses. The expression on Becky's face forces her to go on, before she can think she’s there only to give her that piece of information. “I don’t want her. I..I couldn’t. I walked out.”

Becky nervously wraps her arms around her stomach and clears her throat. It’s weird, how her heart dropped into her stomach and then she felt a sudden glimpse of relief.

“Um..w-why?” She whispers.

Freen shakes her head and looks at Becky with sad and tender eyes. “You know why.”

Becky presses her lips together and lowers her gaze to her feet before looking up again.

“Freen...”

“I never said it back.” Freen pauses. “I know.” She chuckles. “But do you really think I don’t feel the same about you?”

“You mean you didn’t.”

“No, Becky.” She smiles softly. “I’m in love with you. As in now. The present. And the past. And the future, even.”

A single tear falls on Becky's cheek.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought you were happy. Happier.”

Becky scoffs a laugh. “How...how could I be happier without you?”

“Then why are you with her in the first place, Becky? Why did you run away? Why couldn’t you just wait for me?!”

"I'm not with her Freen. I don't want to be with her.

Becky is now silently crying. She hates when Freen gets upset and mad at her. She hates when she’s right but Becky still feels hurt.

“It was too scary. What I felt for you...”

“What you felt for me?!” Freen breathes heavily. “So what? It’s..is it just gone now? You don’t feel anything?”

“Freen, you’re with Faye.” Becky says almost against her will.

“I'm not. What I havent done is file the divorce papers. Nothing else changed.”

Freen sighs and keeps brushing her thumb on Becky's cheek. “You have a good heart. No matter how much this hurts you, I know you’ll do the right thing.”

A single tear falls on her face and Freen is quick to wipe it off gently.

“If you need me, I’ll be right here when you are ready, okay?”

Becky nods lightly and keeps her head down. Freen places a sweet kiss on her forehead, walking out reluctantly, because she had to.

Sometimes we’re hard at forgiving, but we’re even harder at forgetting something that made us feel good. Or bad.

It’s what we felt in those moments that helps us choosing what to do.

What do you do when you can’t forgive?

What do you do when you also can’t forget?

Eventually, it all comes down to what gave us happiness.