Goodbye Kiss

49. A Little Help From My Friends

A Little Help From My Friends
Season 9 x 11
Early January, 2003:

today was the day of lukas m & m. you know, i'd been getting really worried about him lately. christmas went good, he met my family and was really happy, but since new years, everything has sort of fallen apart.
i guess this case has really taken a toll on him. he's been drinking more, sleeping more and being alone more. also, he begged me not to sit in on this meeting too. so, i was down in the ER.
to say the least, luka was depressed.
"can i have the key to the drug lockup?" carter asked
"for what?" i asked
"aspirin"
i threw him the key.
"thank you, gianna" he sing songed down the hallway.
i shook my head, flipping over a chart.
"mr. flossen, they're ready for you up in cardiology" i smiled, entering the room.
"so, i'm finally out of here?"
"i'm sorry your service wasn't up to par"
"it smells down here"
"yeah, i know" i sighed, clipping the chart on his wheelchair.
i took the handles, wheeling him out of the room.
——
"gianna, can you order a cbc and tox?" chen asked
a young girl came in from a math competition.
she was hyper to put it into nice terms. odd, very odd. as if someone took double their prescription of aderall.
"no problem" i smiled, scribbling into the chart.
"i'll be right back, sweetie" i winked, pulling the curtain aside.
i went into the hallway and got a urine cup and a blood vile.
i set up the tray next to the gurney and put my gloves on.
"alright, im just gonna give you a little poke, okay?" i told her, unpackaging the needle.
"did you know you have such gorgeous features?" she said, her eyes wide.
"thank you" i smiled, unwrapping the needle
"you're so symmetrical"
"you're too sweet"
i tied the turnekit on her arm and tapped for a vein.
"are you good at math?"
"not really" i smiled, shaking my head.
"trigonometry was definitely not my bag" i laughed
i pushed the needle in and attached it to the vile.
"triangles are wonderful, though!"
"i'm glad you like math"
"all done" i smiled
"wasnt so bad"
"you did great"
"now you're gonna follow me and pee in this cup"
"what?"
i took her hand and we walked around the admit desk to the washroom. she was yapping my ear off, though. something about more triangles and numbers.
on the way, i saw luka.
"wait for me here" i mouthed to him.
"nurse?" the girl asked
"yeah, hun?"
"i bet you like algebra"
i stopped in front of the bathroom.
"not especially"
"can you go in there for me and fill this up?"
"i guess so"
"after your done screw the cap on and wash your hands"
"i'll be right out here"

i sent the little girl back to her gurney and was on the way to take the samples back to the lab. along with a couple other samples, too.
"how did it go?" i asked luka, pulling him beside the stairs.
he shrugged his shoulders.
"oh god" i groaned
"i killed him gianna, that's all there is to it"
he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh
"i shouldn't of been working that night"
"luka, please"
"it's going to be okay"
"it was a mistake"
"i could've prevented it, though"
he shook his head
"romano wants me to go home"
"luka"
he moved closer to me
"don't worry about me"
for some reason i felt like i was going to cry. what else's was i supposed to do? it hurt me to see luka so distraught. i mean, this was seriously taking a toll on him. the whole hospital staff was. i knew it was a mistake and a good doctor, it didn't fix anything, though.
"i do, though"
"gianna, can you stock up the carts in the hall for me?" haleh asked
"yeah, i'll get there as soon as i can" i smiled
she nodded her head, going into an exam room.
i looked back at luka.
"i'll talk to you when i get off"
he nodded.
"can you promise me one thing?"
"sure"
he ran his hand through my hair
"don't drink too much today"
"i'll see you at home" he responded
——
it was much later, i was taking a little boy to go get a urine sample.
"does everyone need to pee in a cup?"
gosh, that boy was a cutie.
"lots of people do"
he held the cup in one hand and in the other he held onto me.
"does that man need to pee in a cup?" he said, pointing at a man.
"yes"
we went near the bathroom.
"what do i do?"
"start peeing in the cup and count to three"
"when you get to three take away the cup and finish peeing"
"okay"
"i'll wait right here" i smiled, kneeling against the wall.
soon, susan came around
"who you waiting on?"
"a little boy of mine is getting a urine sample"
"have you seen my child molester?"
my eyes went wide
"that young guy with a beard?"
"yeah?"
"jesus christ" i groaned
"i didn't know he was a child molester" i said, walking into the bathroom.
"sweetie?"
"yes, nurse?"
"you okay?"
he unlocked the stall door
"i got some on me"
"it's okay" i smiled
"did you see anyone else in here?" susan asked
he shook his head
i took him out of the bathroom and screwed the cap on his sample.
we walked over to the trauma room.
"let's go wash your hands, okay?"
"what are they gonna do with my pee?"
"i'm gonna seal it up and bring it upstairs"
"and they are going to do special tests on it"
"it'll help us find out what's wrong so we can make you feel better"
"how does that sound?" i asked
i lifted him up, turning on the sink.
he scrubbed his hands clean, and i set him back down, wiping them dry.
"let's go back to your room, okay?"
he nodded his head.
——
i walked into an empty exam room looking for some four by fours.
i walked in on kerry giving herself an ultrasound.
"i'm so sorry" i said, backing out of the door. i turned around though.
"do you need some help?"
she nodded her head.
"i can't find the heartbeat" she whispered
i stepped closer to her and adjusted the probe.
i pulled up the stool, looking around.
"it could be the angle" i shrugged
i moved the screen closer to me, i saw a baby.
there was no heartbeat though.
"really, you should go to ob to get a better look"
"maybe a vaginal ultrasound coul-"
"its okay, gianna"
"i lost the baby" she whispered.
"have you started bleeding?"
she nodded her head
"i'm sorry"
"i can call sandy if yo-"
she shook her head"no"
"i need a minute"
"can you get me some fresh scrubs, gianna?"
"of course"
"you should go home"
"my shifts almost over"
"i'll stay with you for a minute" i added, going out in the hallway.
"okay"

i had just finished signing off time cards when i passed the drug lockup. kerry sat on the floor.
"kerry" i whispered
"is the bleeding worse?"
"it's progressing"
"you should go up to ob"
"i don't want it all over the hospital"
"i can bring down the resident for you"
she nodded her head.
"isn't your shift over?"
"ten minutes ago"
"you can go home, gianna"
"i'll wait around"
——
weaver was seen by the ob resident. it was confirmed that she miscarried.
i was driving her home. she was silent most of the way. i don't blame her.
"thank you, gianna" she nodded, opening her car door.
"anytime" i nodded
"take care of yourself, dr. weaver"
"if there's anything i can do, i'm happy to help"
she shot me a smile before heading for her apartment door.
i had no idea she was pregnant but it made me more sympathetic for her. weaver got on everybody's nerves. she was a strict person. she was still a person, though. not just my boss, nobody deserves to miscarry.
now i headed home.

i unlocked luka's apartment door, slipping my shoes off. the lights were off in the living room, so i headed upstairs.
i tiptoed around and saw him laying in his bed.
"sorry i'm a little late" i smiled
i was almost two hours late, in fact.
he had his head burrowed in his pillow.
i climbed on the bed and laid next to him.
he was half asleep, though.
"i just want to do the right thing" he whispered after a second of silence.
i wrapped my arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"i'm worried about you"
"and i don't like seeing you like this" i sighed