Goodbye Kiss

89. The Providers

The Providers
Season 10 x 12
February, 2005:

i hunched over the sink, bathing milo. he splashed me with water.
"hey" i frowned, laughing
he had caught a little bit of a cold. it wasn't that bad and if it really was, the paediatrician would've said something the other day.
i cupped my hands with water and rinsed his hair.
his babbling turned into squealing and i knew what was coming next.
sure enough, the frown appeared on his face.
"milo, baby" i hushed
"please don't cry"
i took him out of the water and wrapped him in his towel.
he began crying.
i hushed him, rubbing his back.
"you're cold, and sicky, i know" i frowned
"let's go get you dressed"

i got myself and milo dressed, and my sister knocked on the door soon after.
"bianca" i smiled
"i wanted to see how you're doing"
i shrugged my shoulders
"keeping busy with the little one" i smiled
"god, he's grown so much" she groaned, reaching to stroke his hair.
"come in" i smiled
"the family is pretty worried about you"
she hung up her coat on one of the hooks near the door.
"tell them, i'm alright" i nodded
"nona won't stop calling me"
"yeah, whenever i go over there ma won't shut up about you"
"you went back to work, right?"
"i did a week ago but it was a lot" i nodded
"i'm easing into it, i guess"
"that's good"
"i don't know if it's helping"
"it'll take time to feel safe again" she shrugged
"being with milo really helps"
"i just can't believe what happened to you"
"nobody can" i smiled
"not even me" i sighed
——
i slept most of the afternoon but had a bite to eat with milo not too long ago.
staying at home so much allowed me to actually get things done around this apartment. cleaning, laundry. pretty much anything to keep me from drowning in my thoughts.
now, i had to face reality, though.
after zipping up my coat, i wrapped milo in a blanket after buckling him into his car seat.
then, i buckled myself into the seat, beginning to drive off.

after i parked my car, i held milo on my hip. there was swarms of news reporters around the hospital.
obviously, that didn't mean any good.
susan had just hung up the phone when i went around the admit desk.
"what's going on out there?" i asked
"a man shot himself" susan sighed
"oh my god" i scoffed
"you're not on until later, right?"
"yeah, well i'm tired of sucking boogers out of this one's nose"
"baby's got a cold, huh?"
"yeah and this place probably isn't the best to have him in but i'm going stir crazy" i smiled
"you look tired"
"well, i have 10 hours ahead of me" i shrugged
"how is it down here otherwise?"
"this boss position is crappy"
"i'm tired of blood and smelly people"
"and everyone down here is swooning over each other" she scoffed, rolling her eyes
i raised my eyebrows "really?"
"abby with her med student"
"neela and jane over luka"
"i heard about that" i smiled, shaking my head
"i feel bad for him"
"every minute i see neela, she's staring at luka"
"right at his fingertips"
"god, i thought he was just eye candy for her"
"it's worse"
"abby and her med student?"
"jake" susan nodded
"they're always flirting"
"you're wishing you had this kind of romance, huh?"
"not horny for a taken man or student of mine" she laughed

i walked down the hallway as luka turned the corner.
"i wondered if you were here" he smiled
i passed milo off to him.
"he misses you"
he bounced him up and down as milo smiled at him.
"how's his temp?"
"he's fine" i nodded
"just sniffly"
"hey, milo" luka smiled
i saw neela standing behind him, watching us.
"dr. kovac?"
he turned around
"can you sign this?"
"i'll look at it in a minute" he said, turning back to me.
"i got assigned to her" he mumbled
"and i've been trying to avoid her"
i tilted my head
"you know i'm not jealous, right?" i smiled
"i know" he nodded
"especially because i know you're not going anywhere"
"i think you're kind of stuck me since we have this one" i smiled, stroking milos hair.
"well, i'm glad you're the one i have to be stuck with"
i smiled, looking up at him.
"how're you doing?" he whispered
"you know" i sighed
he planted a kiss on my head.
"i wish we could all go home together tonight"
"me too" i nodded
"tomorrow night we will" i grinned
he shook his head, smiling,
"it's good to see you"

it was later that night, luka and milo headed home.
so now, it was just me and the night staff.
"you're on still?"
i set up a suture kit for carter.
"yeah, on a double"
"heard about that patients father"
he nodded
"i think what you said to the press was right"
"thanks"
"how are you?" he asked
"tired of that question" i smiled
"i get what you mean" he cackled