Goodbye Kiss

79. One for the Road

One for the Road
Season 11 x 01
June, 2004:

"how're things around here?" i smiled, walking down the hallway.
"pretty horrid" neela laughed
"yeah" i sighed
"i thought you were in michigan?"
she shook her head "i don't really want to talk about it"
"sorry"
"pratt and chen are up in recovery" she sighed
"from surgery?" i said, confused
she nodded her head,
i raised an eyebrow "wait, what?"
"they got into a car accident last night"
"really, what?"
"are they okay?"
"i'm not sure, hadn't gotten to see them when they came in" she shrugged
"jesus christ, this place is falling apart" i scoffed
"tell me about it"
"i'm gonna hide out so weaver doesn't yell at me again" she added
"sounds like a plan" i sighed
i shook my head.
what the hell.
this place was way worse than i thought.

"dr. lockhart" i grinned
"the white coat suits you"
"glad everyone thinks so" she smiled, shrugging her shoulders.
luka came around the desk.
"get any sleep?" he asked
"no" i smiled
"hello, i'm ray barnett" an unfamiliar face said, causing luka and i to turn around.
"you're a new intern?" i asked
he nodded his head
"i'm dr. kovac"
"gianna coletti" i nodded
i shook his hand
"you're a head nurse?"
"i am"
"and attending?"
"yeah" luka nodded
"well, me and jake better get going to our tour upstairs"
"see you around" i nodded.
i turned back around to luka
"interns already?"
"it's june" he shrugged
"i wonder if i'll get any new grads down here"
"haven't seen any yet"
"just what this place needs" i laughed
"any word on sam yet?" he asked
"no" i shrugged
——
"gianna, wanna help me over here?" abby asked
"sure, what do you got?" i said, walking towards her.
"tonsil cancer"
i headed to the trauma room.
i took the monitor and hooked it to his finger.
"can we get the suction?" abby asked
he was coughing up blood.
i put my gloves on and started the suction up.
"looks like you'll need to intubate"
"probably" abby sighed
i looked at the chart.
"george" abby said
"there's a lot of blood"
"to protect your airway we'll need to intubate"
"and maybe even get a blood transfusion"
george shook his head.
"please, no"
"we need to"
"i'm a dnr"
i looked up at abby, then flipped through the chart.
"i don't want it to hurt"
"to make sure you're comfortable, we'll give you some morphine"
he nodded his head
"will you stay with me dr. lockhart?"
"sure" she nodded
but, haleh walked through the doors.
"they have a search warrant on amanda" she whispered
george looked at her
"i'll stay with you" i smiled
"okay" he nodded

i walked back to the admit desk.
it was about noon.
"are you expecting a collect call?" frank asked
"no"
"it's for you"
i took the phone.
"hello?"
"oh thank god it's you"
it was sam on the other end.
"i've been worried sick" i sighed
"that's good"
"you've thought about it?"
i sat on a stool.
"no, no, no"
i ran my hand through my hair.
"i get that sam"
"look"
"i need you"
"this hospital is really falling apart" i smiled
"i hate to say it but i'm on maternity leave in a month or two"
"i just-"
"i can't trust these new nurses here running this place"
"you're an amazing nurse"
"and i mean that"
"i know, and i'm sorry"
"but i'm here to support you"
i shook my head "whatever you need"
"not that, though"
i took a deep breath
"i need you to trust me"
"i know"
"for god sakes i'm on my knees begging for you to come back"
"i'll drive my 30 some week pregnant ass to wherever you are and drag you back here if i have to"
"fine" i sighed
"just please think about this some more"
"i'll talk to you soon, alright?"
"bye"
i hung up the phone and let out a groan
"everything okay?" abby asked, coming around the desk.
"everything is just great"
here come the waterworks again..
"do you need luka?" she said, worried
"i'm too pregnant for all this stress" i groaned, putting my head down on the desk.
"perfect timing, look who it is" abby said
"what's wrong, gianna?" luka asked, rubbing my back up and down.
"she got a call from sam" frank whispered
i looked up at luka,
"i don't think she's coming back"
———
"i'm getting really tired" george said
"it's from your loss of blood cells" i whispered
i sat down next to him on a stool.
"i'm scared to die, gianna"
"why's that?" i asked, tilting my head.
"i don't think i've been a good man"
"i never really believed that has any effect on what happens next" i smiled
"what happens next?" he asked
"it depends on what you believe in" i shrugged
"i've never been a good believer, either"
"i've done a lot wrong, i guess"
i suctioned out his throat some more since he was bleeding out.
"do you think that matters, too?"
i shook my head
"i don't know"
"it's happening soon" he mumbled
i glanced down the hall, abby was running all over the place.
"are you starting to hurt?"
he nodded his head.
i pulled a vile of morphine from my pocket then, injected it into this saline.
"you're having a baby?" he mumbled
"yeah"
"you'll be alright" he smiled
"it's okay to be scared, george"
"i know"
his eyes closed.
i put my hand on his forehead and watched the monitors.
i stood and watched as this man was dying. i watched as his heart rate went from normal to sinus to asystole. this man was scared to die and i had to watch the anxiety fade into nothing.
since being a nurse, i've see a lot of people die but for some reason, i've never seen one like this, so unsure.
i scribbled into his charts.
"do you know where i can find some markade, gianna?" ray asked, i turned around
"yeah, it's isn't he drug lockup behind you on the middle shelf" i smiled
"everything okay?"
"this man's dead" i shrugged
"let abby know if you see her"
he nodded his head as i turned to unplug him from his IV.