Goodbye Kiss

76. Just a Touch

Just a Touch
Season 10 x 19
April, 2004:

i went into my locker and popped my prenatal vitamins in my mouth.
"how're you doing, sam?" i smiled, itching the bottom of my belly.
"kinda crappy" she laughed
"why's that?"
"alex's dad is back in town"
"oh god" i cackled
she shook her head "yeah, and it's never pleasant"
"29 weeks, right?"
i walked out of the lounge.
"yeah, tomorrow" i smiled
"my skin feels like it's going to break open"
"i remember what it feels like" she smiled
"couldn't pay me a fortune to do it again"
"i haven't minded being pregnant" i shrugged
"it'll be worth it in the end" i smiled
"at least i hope"
"stop, your kid is gonna be great"
"probably will end up being a doctor, or model"
"you'll love it" she smiled
"thanks, sam" i laughed, walking down the hallway.

i held onto lukas hand and brought him to an exam room.
"i've only been here an hour and a half"
"me too" he smiled
"and there's already a biting patient?"
"i guess so" he shrugged
i put my gloves on and began irrigating his hand.
"how're you?"
"not much different from this morning"
"my skin is so itchy"
i looked at the bite mark
"god, this lady has a set of chompers"
i looked back up at him, irrigating his hand.
"you know, i didn't think everything would grow while being pregnant"
"my belly, my butt, my boobs"
"for god sake i'm wearing extra large scrub pants" i whispered
he tilted his head and smiled at me.
after wrapping up his hand, i rolled his sleeve up and took a blood sample.
"you look good" he smiled, rubbing my back up and down.
i watched as the vile filled up with blood, then i took off my gloves.
"the baby is definitely starting to drop"
i rubbed the bottom of my belly, he kept his hand on me.
"i don't think this is the psych consult" abby smiled, walking in the doorway.
"you started your psych rotation?" i asked, turning around.
"i did" she nodded
"how's that?" luka asked
"i'm scared"
i tilted my head
"because i like it a lot"
"that's a good thing"
"where's the biter?"
"suture room"
luka stood up, but i stopped him.
i waved the syringe in the air "you need your tetanus shot"

i sat in the bathroom stall and untied my shirt, lotioning up my belly again.
my skin felt like it was on fire from stretching so much. however, one thing i was thankful of was my belly button not popping out. i didn't really have one at all, now.
i wrapped my top around my body and tied it back up, making a beeline for the lounge.
i got a container out of the fridge and sat down next to carter, eating.
"what theme is your baby's nursery?" he asked
"yellow?" i said between bites
"i don't know if i should do under the sea, jungle or circus"
"not circus"
"chen said jungle"
"how's kem?" i asked, turning my head to look at him.
"big"
"that's not what a woman wants to hear" i smiled
"i think she's just 27 weeks"
"third trimester is on its way" i nodded
"i heard susan's on bedrest"
"she can't wait to get that thing out of her"
"what about you?"
"i got some time" i shrugged
"don't know if my skin can stretch anymore" i laughed
i downed some water,
"i can tell you're getting excited" i smiled
"i am" he nodded, smiling.
"you're gonna be a good dad"
"that's what people have been telling me"
"it's the truth" i sighed
"jungle?"
"sure, gives the baby a sense of home" i shrugged
"that's what chen said" he laughed
——
"jesus christ" i groaned stopping down the middle of the hallway.
i had a bag of saline in my hand
"you okay?" malik asked
"this baby is going feral" i laughed
"its an active one, huh?"
"yeah"
i held onto my stomach and walked to curtain one.
i attached the new saline bag to the patients iv. the woman on the gurney next to us, kept staring at me.
i began walking away.
"nurse?" she asked
"hi" i smiled
"is dr. pratt's supervisor available?"
she looked distraught.
"is everything okay?" i asked
i quickly scanned her chart. she was discharged not long ago.
"i'm okay, i'd just like to talk to the supervisor, please"
"okay" i nodded, sympathetically.
"i can do that for you" i added, walking off to find weaver.
"jerry?"
"gianna?"
"where's weaver?"
"she was having a meeting last i heard"
"can you find her for me?"
"sure" he shrugged
i walked around the corner to go check on another patient.
"neela" i smiled
"when's your research rotation?"
she looked at her watch,
"about an hour" she shrugged
"well, i just wanted to wish you all the best"
"thank you" she nodded
i knew she was unhappy about her new placement. she thought the doctors down here didn't think she was good enough to peruse emergency medicine.
i mean, if i got told to do research on mice, i'd be unhappy too. especially after all that money spent on med school..
——
"gianna?"
"dr. weaver" i sighed, hurrying down the hallway.
"you wanted to speak with me?"
"i'm sorry for calling you down, i know you're busy"
"and frankly, i'm always here if you need anything"
"i appreciate that, gianna" she nodded
"what can i do for you?" she asked
"it's not me, there was a woman in curtain two who'd like to speak with you about dr. pratt"
"do you know why?"
"no, she wasn't my patient" i shrugged
"she looked distraught, though"
"thanks for letting me know" she nodded
i headed to the admit desk and sat down on a stool, resting my feet on one of the shelves.
"is my nose big?"
"no" jerry smiled
"it's not wide, right?"
"you look like you did a year ago"
"that's good" i nodded
"you're acting weird"
"want me to locate kovac?" he asked, giving me a weirded out look.
"you know, i haven't seen him in awhile"
"gianna, where's dr. pratt?" weaver asked
morris walked over and looked especially guilty.
"trauma one" i said, confused.

i riffled through my locker and put on my coat.
pratt was in trouble after that female patient said he was sexually assaulting her. weaver was not too happy about that. i don't know what happened, but between biting patients, what has been happening around this place lately, and my swollen legs, all i knew was i wanted to go home.
"gianna" abby smiled
"hey"
she leaned on the wall
"i need more nursing hours"
"if i don't get more i don't know how i'm gonna pay for tuition"
"i know, i've been trying to figure everything out with management upstairs" i yawned
"lucky for you i'll be off for maternity leave soon and we'll really need you down here"
"abby, your tuition is already paid" weaver said, looking up from her charts.
"what?" abby said, raising her eyebrows.
kerry shrugged, closing the door to the lounge behind her.
"oh my god" abby scoffed
i'm sure one person came to both of our minds. only one person would do this.
carter.
"any plans for tonight?" i cackled
"i'm seeing someone" she shrugged, grinning.
"really?"
"nothing that serious"
"he drives a motorcycle" she smiled
"sounds fun" i laughed
"goodnight, gianna" she waved
"still want those shifts, right?"
"why not?" she grinned before leaving he lounge.
———
hand in hand, i walked beside the river with luka.
"are you ever scared?" i asked
we stopped walking.
"of what?" he asked
"of having this baby"
"what if i'm not a good mom or something?"
he pursed his lips
"it all feels so real now" i whispered
"i didn't think of it for months"
"i'm worried" i smiled
i looked up at his eyes.
"you're going to be an amazing mom"
"you know that for sure?"
"i see you with kids everyday"
"i would never lie to you" he smiled, shaking his head.
i would do anything for luka.
there's no doubt that this baby was going to be loved like i love luka.
it just felt so real lately. i've had this baby inside of me for months, but, for the first time, i realized that soon, i was gonna be a mom.