i know the end ,, harry potter

chapter forty-nine

tw: self harm type stuff and sad alyra

SHES FAILING.

alyra is failing everything. her parents, more her father, her brother, her friends, harry, her classes, herself. she's failing.

everything.

"miss malfoy?" she hears umbridges voice, pulling out of her daze, bringing her back to real life. she's in umbridges office, they're talking about school. about her grades. the only classes she isn't failing are astronomy and defense against the dark arts. she's failing everything else. she's a failure, "are you there miss malfoy?"

"huh?" she snaps her eyes towards the woman covered from head to toe in pink, "i'm sorry. sorry."

"are you quite alright?" umbridge asked her, and alyra nodded simply, the look in her eyes said otherwise though. it almost always did. her feelings were always shown in her eyes. everyone saw righr through her smiles and her continuous 'i'm okay's and the lies. the lies. she lied a lot. she hated herself for it.

she's always hated herself. she's come to realize that she'd never really been a very happy person. she's always been this way. she was unfixable. there was something wrong with her. something had always been wrong with her, and she'll never be fixed. she's unfixable.

unfixable.

un. fix. able.

"alyra!?" the woman's voice is harsh, and alyra notices she's zoned out again

"i'm sorry!" she exclaims, saying the words louder than she means to as she looks at umbridge again. clearly, the professor did not like that tone.

"detention."

"what? i—" alyras voice gets caught in her throat as she looks back at the woman with wide eyes, "but i didn't— i didn't mean to.. i—"

"detention, miss malfoy." umbridges tone is cold, almost like she's mocking her. it makes alyras skin crawl. it makes her want to die.

"please. i didn't mean to." her blue eyes are filled with desperation as she looks at the professor, "it was an accident. i didn't mean to yell. i'm sorry. i'm sorry."

"detention." she repeats it again, "do you wanna make it a weeks worth?"

"no." the blonde shakes her head, her voice still sounds desperate, and like she's about to burst into tears any second now as she manages to breathe out a quiet, "please, i didn't mean to. i'm sorry, i'm sorry."

"leave my office now, miss malfoy." umbridge tells her sternly, "i'll see you for detention tomorrow."

"okay." alyra sighs, exiting the woman's office, she manages to make it all the way to the great hall, and she sat beside harry, not saying a word to him. not to anybody.

it was time for dinner. everyone was in the hall. but alyra felt like a ghost. like someone people could see right through and not notice.

"alyra? darling, are you okay?" harry asked, whispering to her, his question made her shiver a little

"i have detention tomorrow." was all she said, she wasn't eating, harry noticed that, but he didn't mention it. he didn't wanna overstep. he didn't want her to push him away again. he was walking on eggshells around her, alyra could feel it. she could see it. she hated the feeling. the feeling she got when she could tell someone didn't know what to say to her, when someone didn't know how to act around her. draco had done it to her the most. growing up, alyra would go through moments, her father called them her dark phases. they were like, weeks throughout the year where she'd just shut down, she wouldn't leave her room, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't talk to anyone.