𝘿𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙫:
I walked down into the kitchen to get Lily's milk into bottles.
Some days was easy and some days were hard.Breastfeeding is not for the week I will tell you that.
Its exhausting one day is better than the other and then the other sucks.
But its life and you gotta love it for what it is .Am I right.
Nicholas was on the coach watching tv or what's not.I wasn't in the mood to argue with him to be honest.
Everytime I tried to talk to him it would always end in an argument. He never wanted to see my side.
And that sucks for him.Cause I made up my mind to actually indulge in being a lawyer.
I know I can do it.But then I don't.Its always me that had always hated me for being simply 𝙢𝙚.
I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself all alone in this boring house taking care of Lily.
I love my daughter I do but I need to stop acting that everything's ok.I need to tell him whether he gon be mad or not.
I really don't care to be honest what anyone has to say about me and my life style.
I'm not ashamed of being a mother , a mother that hasn't been married and is known to everyone to be whoring around-.
"What you thinking about" a voice said booming through the silence in my head.Almost a cue that I've been saved from my self sabatoge in my head.
A battle field where I'm the enemy. Feeling like everyone is out to get me.
"I've been thinking about something-" I paused taking a huge gulp of breath to swallow.When I looked over at him I saw that his face was urging me to to go on with my statement which made me scared.
'𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩' my brain was practically urging to me.I tried not to think about it , but that small voice in the back of my head .It was screaming at me ,'ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵘᵖ, ⁿᵒ ᵒⁿᵉ ᶜᵃʳᵉˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁱᵗ , ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵗᵉˡˡ ʰⁱᵐ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ.ʰᵉ ˡᵒᵒᵏˢ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ʰᵉ ⁱˢ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ˢᵒⁿᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ' is all I heard over and over again.
I hated it , I hated me.Then suddenly the voices ,the voices leave- leaving me in a void.Where I am now left to pick a side .
If anything goes wrong its the I told you so party coming out to play.
"How are you? why are you here" I asked interrogating him .Making sure to point my right hand sternly onto the counter infront of me since I was in the kitchen.
And he was in the living room.
"Don't wanna talk about it right now , but I'm doing ok".Hw said getting up walking over to me.
"Also what's bottering you" he said slowly while standing infront of me as if he was securing me from something.
His body language indicating that it was a safe place and everything I said would be confidential to him .Him and me only.
Which made me feel safe to tell him.He was looking at me with his reassuring eyes that had love all over them.
Making me feel warm inside from his warm approach to me."Well I don't like being home alone-" I stopped cutting myself off.
So that he can cut me off .But he didn't- he was just waiting for me to finish.
Which gave me hope in this journey."Well , Uhmm I don't wanna be home all day and I recently got a case that's gonna cause me millions and I don't wanna let this deal go"I said frantically.
To see him turn his head to the right staring out of the window.Making me see his sharp chiselled jawline.And the way his adam's apple moved as he swallowed.
He was concentrating ."Oh ----k , so you really want thia career huh.Alright " he responded. Making me run over to him embracing him into a hug while jumping up and down.
"Hold on-" he interupted making me advert my gaze back onto his face looking deep into his eyes.
"You need to make our daughter anonymos -" he stopped putting his hands out in a stop motion almost as if saying negative.
"No one must know about us ohk" he said in a stern way.Which I understood , me proving one person innocent proves another guilty.
