INSIDE OF ME - ENG

YOU & I

Noah gently lays me on the bed and I look at him timidly while he sits next to me and looks at me in the eyes just that moment and then back on my lips.
He suddenly pulls away from that kiss and he gets on top of me. His piercing, longing look makes him so damn hot and it makes me feel a little embarrassed. He doesn't say a word. He just looks at me.

He lets his hand slowly slide over my bathrobe and that light way of touching me turns on yet another chill that becomes more intense when I feel the belt loosening. Then he stops, without completely undoing it, remaining astride on me and leaves me so amazed and hesitant.
I wonder if there's something wrong. I decide to lift up a little with my elbows, always keeping his eyes even if I am aware that mine is reflecting a bit of fear. I want to ask him what's going on. Because he got stuck like this. Maybe he sensed something and so he'd rather let go? But he precedes me.
<<Are you up for it?>> he whispers fondly.

I leave a few endless seconds pass before I can give him an answer, because I have the damned habit of thinking too much. I am neither able to seize the moment nor to be impulsive. But this atmosphere is perfect. Noah is perfect and in the end all that hatred that I felt for him turned into something else deeper and maybe it was because of that negative feeling that helped me open my eyes on who I always really wanted.
And now I'm here, right with him, on this night that can become unique and irreplaceable and that I will remember forever. But am I really ready? I feel like it's a yes, that I really want it.

I finally nod and he smiles at me. He makes me crazy when he smiles at me like that. That's the Noah I always want to see.
He goes back to kissing me with more vehemence, even biting my neck a bit and this makes me make a scream amused because of the tickle, so he does not stop. He likes to joke like that and see that he's the only one guilty of my laughter. He pulls himself up, takes off his shirt. I am enchanted by that beautiful body that I now have right before my eyes. The desire for him increases enormously, as the desire to touch those pectorals not too accentuated but perfect on him. I move forward a little, wavering with one hand but while I am about to mention the gesture, he grabs my wrist sharply, throwing me back heavily down, then grabbing my other wrist still free. He locks my wrists over my head with one hand and it scares me a bit the look it gives me, it's like a warning. Maybe he doesn't want to be touched... but it's just my feeling.

He comes back on me again, this time kissing me with a passion that almost wants to take my lips off, so I close my eyes, trying to let myself go a bit. I wish I could touch him, but he's holding me back, and his strong grip certainly doesn't help me get my hands free. He's satisfied that I'm stuck, because there's nothing I can do. With the other hand, the one that holds free, he begins to slowly open my bathrobe, touching me with such delicacy the skin, now become a unique thrill and anxiety at every thoughtful touch.
He looks at me with a raptured look at my body that is now completely undressed, except for the arms and he nibbles on his lower lip.
<<You are so beautiful...>> whispers to me with desire, while I sigh heavily and I am dying for him.
I feel like I'm flying now and all this seems so surreal. Noah and I? Not even in my dreams I would have imagined it. But I don't speak. His seeing me so beautiful doesn't need an answer.
Noah goes on my neck, kissing it hard and then he come down, taking my breasts with his free hand and lingeres a little longer. He kisses me gently and I get nervous. Now more than ever I would like to touch him and feel his skin under my fingers. I try to rebel against his grip and I finally make it but for a while, I don't even have time to pull up a hand, which he blocks me again.
He doesn't stop kissing my body. I don't resist anymore. I accept the condition. When he gets to the navel, I burst out laughing. His tongue tickles me so much, it's impossible not to laugh. I want to yell at him to stop but I can't do it, I can't even talk, it's basically a nice tickle that makes you beg not to stop. So, he goes on like nothing happened and I think he likes to torture me like that.
He return to my face, kissing every corner, even my eyes. I have a heart that wants to burst right now because everything is about to happen and inside I'm terrified of it but I keep telling myself "it's just you I want".

Noah is in a grave silence and he looks at me with a heartbeat. The only sound I hear is just his breath and mine. It seems like we're feeling the same emotions right now, because it's like we're poised between the fear of hurting ourselves and the desire to surrender to each other.
He leaves my wrists and this helps me to take a little breath, but it only takes a glance of him to make me understand that I must not move. And I'm not moving. I'm hanging my arms over my head. He looses his pants and gets rid of them with frenzy and for a moment I look away from his body, because all this shakes me and a little intimidates me. But when he lies on me, I observe him with throbbing eyes and I blush to the thought of how perfect he is.
His warm and heavy body makes me feel safe and the embarrassment I had until just before suddenly disappeared. Noah doesn't stop kissing my face and mouth, but then he looks at me thoughtfully.
<<Sarah, if you don't feel like it...>>
I don't let him finish. He seems more scared than I do, and I find that strange, but all this care of his makes me feel good. He makes me feel good, how it feels good to be protected by his body. I smile and shake my head.
<<Noah, you're all I want...>> I whisper softly. He smiles back and in the end, everything I had dreamed of for months, comes true; being one part of the other.
He lifts my legs, taking me with both sweetness and strength. His hands cling to my skin with enormous intensity to leave me almost breathless but, with a little trepidation, finally, I choose to abandon myself totally to him and for the first time in my life, be only his completely.

I feel Noah gently moving above me, and it's one of those hard-to-explain feelings.
He touches every part of me and he doesn't stop kissing me, then he smiles at me.
<You're mine... >> he whispers to me. I eagerly reciprocate his kisses and close my eyes, welcoming him even more and I begin to receive him with more ardor as he clings to my hands, crossing his fingers with mine.
Now I feel full of him and I don't want to let him go.
Noah falls tired on my still warm body of us and holds me close to him. I feel our hearts beating fast in unison, tired but happy.

My hands are free and I can finally touch him without him being displeased. As I gently caress his hair and look at him secretly, a thought rushes through my head and out involuntarily.
<<I love you, Noah...>> I murmur almost throbbing between me and me, but he can still hear me and looks at me gently, caressing my head and hair. Perhaps, he notices a slight fear in my eyes, so he smiles again, giving me a slight kiss on the lips and then immediately move his gaze.
<<I've been waiting for you for too long. I love you from day one, Sarah.>> he whispers in my ear.