INSIDE OF ME - ENG

A STRANGE PROPOSAL

Noah's office is located on the same floor, down the hall next to the security staff's dressing rooms. I find it immediately.
The door is half-open. I take a deep and long breath, closing my eyes and trying to get rid of all kinds of absurd and stupid thoughts. I gather courage entering at a calm pace, closing the door silently behind me.

My attention immediately goes not to him, but to the decidedly oval room. It's immense, very bright, so large that it seems half empty. It's full of pictures of famous people and I can see several cups and medals arranged very neatly inside a cabinet with glass doors.
I am amazed and I don't move a muscle cause Noah is right in front of me. I blush violently again. I put my hands on the heart trying to calm it. Mission impossible. The fat is in the fire. That guy got a sublime power over me.
I'm sure he wants to talk to me about something important, but I feel like I can't do it, that I can't hold a conversation with him, look at him in the eye without blushing and speak without stuttering. I can't afford any more stupid stuff. No, I have to get myself together and be as formal as possible.

Noah is sitting half slumped at the huge and modern desk made of very precious rosewood which must have cost a fortune.
I frown when I see his serious and challenging but also amused expression, which makes him look like a happy child with his new toy, while he is playing something online, hearing some casino jingle coming from the computer.
Not sure he noticed that I came in. I wonder if his brain is fine or if he has nothing else better to do during the whole day, instead of working and taking care of his managers and the whole company.
I cautiously approach him with a soft step, standing behind the two mouse-grey chairs placed in front of his desk, and try to make myself noticed by clearing my throat a couple of times.

Finally, he lifts his eyes from that damn video game and stares at me, squinting a little, giving me an indefinable smile.
I would have paid gold for him not to! But he immediately throws them back onto the screen.
<<Come in. Just a second, I'll finish tearing up this Swedish asshole at poker!>>
I'm so annoyed that two ideas come to mind. First, smash it directly into his head. The second one, to stay quiet, wait for him to finish and for him to deign not to waste any more of my time and sit on one of those comfortable chairs.
I opt for the second idea. I sit in front of him waiting and nibbling on the thumb of my right hand. A bad habit, when I'm nervous.

What a fright! He bangs his fist on the table and lets out a breathy 'uh uh!'  rejoicing in the victory.
<<And I did it this time too! Loser.>>
However, his joy does not last long. He is now recalling that he has to work and not to have fun. So, he shifts her gaze to me, leaning on the swivel chair and taking a professional look that cows me a bit.
There's a awkward silence that seems to last for centuries but I'm forcing myself for trying not to look straight at him and trying to make some strange Aramaic sound.
<<Uhm... I'm sorry for interrupting you from your... game.>>
<<Don't worry. I don't always play correctly.>>
His deep voice sounds in my ears with an arrogant and hot timbre. That's stronger than me, cause I lower my gaze completely and blushing as if I'm in the fire.
<<I had the chance to read your CV, Rodgerson.>>
<<So, what did you deduce from this, Stumphone?>>
<<You have all the necessary skills for the job I want to offer you.>>
I get curious and prick up my ears, sitting upright and crossing my legs pretending to be sure of myself, at least to him.
<<Would it be?>>
<<Being my personal assistant.>>

Stop the time. What the hell?! I think my stupid expression has taken over me again, right now.
Noah rises elegantly from the chair. I watch him come in front of me. I watch his well-groomed and strong hands fixing the collar of his white shirt. I watch him stop standing and leaning on the table. I watch him laugh mischievously at me. I see how his body, his face and his breathing are so close right now. I am blocked by this image. I'm stopped in every way, I no longer feel that I have the ability of understanding and willing.
<<I know it may seem like a rather rash request to you as a first day of work. But, it's also my dutiful gesture to apologize for the accident we had on this morning. Just think about it, cause it would be an excellent career leap.>>
I guess,  the best thing to do is to get up and wake up, asserting my reasons. I'm proud and stubborn, I'll make him keep that in mind.
I get up and find myself exactly 'nose to nose' with him, avoiding him as much as possible. <<I'll think about it, thanks. But I don't guarantee anything. I want to create the path myself, counting on my own.>>
I decide to leave. We have nothing more to say and I want to avoid meeting his gaze so as not to see his devious smile still aimed at me.
Now I'm feeling better. I feel stronger towards him. He deserves it cause he mustn't and he can't have all this power over me. He is nothing.

I hold out my hand to shake it formally, as all managers should do as a sign of courtesy and greeting, but Noah makes a gesture that I would never have expected and I am almost shocked. Everything I set out to do just now has fallen apart, I'm the human torch again.
<<I hope you won't refuse it.>>
He looks at me in such a seductive way that it penetrates me to the very bowels of my soul. He takes my hand and kisses it and, for the first time, I can feel his soft, wet lips on my skin. I rudely take it away from him and, without looking at him or saying bye, I just turn my back to him, escape from his office.
Now, I quickly run as far away from him.