Celina's Lover

13- Heart beat

A regular rhythm filled Sara's ears. A strong rhythm made by beeps. She tried to open her eyes, but the white lights around her were too bright. She moved her arms around a little and felt the plastic tubes that were connected to her wrists. She also had a couple sticking onto her chest. With every second that passed, the white walls and metal bed around her became clearer. She finally realised where she was. A hospital. She tried to keep the thoughts out of her head by clothing her eyes, but that only made it worse. Thoughts turned into memories that turned into flashbacks that turned into a nightmare, her nightmare. The one she had every week at least once. The one she would be stuck with for the rest of her life.

For a couple seconds, she was back in that old expired bathroom. Her wet and naked body was being tied up as she fought for every breath she had to take to keep herself alive. She noticed that the pace of the beeping machine increased rapidly. She tried to shake off the fear, literally. Her body started to feel numb, except her leg. Her leg ached with every breath she took. The shock had hit her hard and caused her body to feel paralysed. Someone walked into her room, a nurse. She looked at the machine that made that beeping sound. It was her heartbeat that increased its pace followed by her breathing. Someone else came in too. The first nurse told her something, but Sara couldn't hear what.

Sara's situation only got worse. The nurse that was still with her in the room tried talking to her to keep her calm but Sara was gone, gone in her own mind. The, still escalating beeps, took over her mind. They overlapped all the other sounds that now felt millions of miles away from her. She still had her eyes closed when a familiar feeling came to her. A feeling she always had when she got woken up in the middle of the night by that bad nightmare. It felt like her whole world was spinning around her, so she opened her eyes, trying to wake up. Something in her body told her to leave, to just run and never come back. It was probably the drugs speaking, but the urge was so strong. She sat up and a pain immediately shot through her leg. Someone walked into the room. Someone Sara immediately recognized. It was Celina followed by Lucy. Sara's heavy breathing filled the room.

'Sara... Hé, calm down.' She heard Celina's voice say as she rushed towards her bedside. 'H- elp.' Sara said between heavy breaths. Her words were hard to understand under her heavy breathing. 'I'm here, it's okay, calm down. Just take deep breaths with me.' Celina sat down at the edge of the bed in front of Sara. Only having eyes for Celina, Sara tried to copy her breathing pattern. Her breathing slowed down, but it was still unsteady and shaking. It came in waves. She began to calm down, until another memory came back to her and she had to start all over again. After a while, her panic started making room for rivers of tears. Sara mumbled something incomprehensible. 'It's okay, just lie down again. I'm here.' Celina soothed her. She helped Sara lie down and tilted the bed, so her head was a little more upward.

Lucy, who was still standing in the doorway looking at them, decided to leave to give them some space. She stood a little further down the hall when Grey, Tim and John came up to her. 'Is she alright? Where is Celina?' Grey asked, a little tense. 'Celina is with her right now, calming her down-' Lucy started to explain, but Grey didn't let her finish. 'Calming her down?' He repeated her words. 'Yes, she is having a panic attack, a really bad one. I've never seen one this bad.' Lucy answered.

'Has she ever mentioned something like this to you?' she turned her gaze to Tim. They look all at Tim now who was a little held back by her sudden protectiveness. 'No, I'm her TO. We don't talk about her personal life on the job. Plus, if I did, I would've reported it.' He responded, not understanding why he was asked this question. 'Right. You make no time for her personal life or are too busy asking her about us?' She couldn't help it. The words just slipped between her lips. 'What is that supposed to mean?' Tim fought back, although he already knew. 'Oh, don't act foolish, you know what I mean.' She couldn't help it. She wanted to stop, just ignore him, but she couldn't. The anger she had held in for weeks slowly slipped away like sand between your fingers. 'Okay, maybe I asked about you once, but I just wanted to know how you were doing.' He didn't feel like having this conversation right now, but Lucy wasn't done yet. Being angry at him was the only thing she could think of and Grey and John just disappeared for a moment. 'Don't lie to me Tim. You've done that enough and I can't do this again! You have no. Right. To use your position as TO to get information from my friends! So instead of spending every free second talking about me, maybe you should put some time in getting to know your rookies!' She exclaimed.

'Chen!' Grey interrupted. He raised his voice slightly, but at that moment Lucy didn't care. 'If you have a question, come to me. And if I ignore you, because I need to figure out my own problems without you messing everything up, that's a sign that it's none of your business. You want your playbook back? Then know your Limits!' The whole time she just glared into his eyes. However, once she finished she saw the pain in his. Snapping at him like that really hurt him and she didn't know if she wanted that or not. Without saying another word, she walked past them to the bathroom.

Next part: November 4th 2024