Celina's Lover

25- What now?

'Did it bother you often afterwards?' She asked. 'You mean, did I have panic attacks or nightmares too? Yes, sometimes I had nightmares, but not as bad. I would wake up in a panic for a moment, but once I saw that I was home, I could go back to sleep.' Lucy explained. she didn't look at Sara. She stared out the window, thinking about it. 'Maybe it's different for me. I know for 100% that I don't have to worry about him anymore, because he's dead. I don't have to worry that he will find me and kill me and I know that he will never be able to do anything to someone else. But you don't. You know it's unlikely and that it will likely never happen, cause he's in prison, but he's still alive. If Caleb would still be alive, I would be a lot more scared too.' They both thought about it and a pause fell.

'I once had something like this too.' Lucy added. She and Sara made eye contact. 'I fall back, I mean.' She could see Sara didn't understand what she was saying. 'That's what you call this phase you're going through right now. You were getting better day by day, but something happened and now it feels like you have to start all over again. I had one too.' She explained. 'I had this boyfriend once, before Tim. He once sang my song. The song I sang when I was in that barrel. He sang it in front of me and it brought it all back up. It felt like I was right there again.' Lucy continued talking about that day. About the DA's office and about panic attack before the day had even begun. That was the first time she heard herself sing the song. After that day Lucy had trouble sleeping too. It felt like she had to start all over again, back to square one, where every breath and every step hurts. Sara listened as Lucy dumped her heart out. It felt good to get it off her chest. 'I know it isn't the same, but the point is. What you're feeling right now will go away. I might take a while, but you're strong, you can fight this.' That wasn't how Sar thought about it.

'It doesn't feel like that. I never got rid of it the first time, now it's even worse.' She mumbled. 'I know, but this time, you won't have to do it alone. This time you have an amazing girlfriend that will stay with you through everything, a crazy friend/ roommate, a whole police force, one of the best bosses you can wish for and an incredibly bad feeling TO.' They both smiled, lighting the mood a little. 'Do you really think Celina will stay with me after I tell her this?' It was more a question to herself, but she said it out loud. 'Are you kidding? That girl has been staying by your side all week. She has spent hours trying to figure out how to best help you. I have seen her google all kinds of thing to try and help you the best she could. Just tell her tonight. It'll be fine, I promise.' Sara laughed. 'I'm sure she won't run, especially not from you. I think she would be glad to know your history.' Lucy assured her and it worked. 'I really hope so.' 'And I know so. Now, let's get you some tissues and a glass of water.' Lucy stood up, but Sara stopped her. 'Lucy?' she asked, grabbing her arm. Lucy turned back around, smiling softly at her. 'Thank you for this.' Sara smiled back softly. 'No problem.'

Next part: November 28th 2024