Celina's Lover

24- Don't worry, I understand

They just sat there for a very long time, but it felt like only a moment. Lucy slowly rocked left to right while Sara cried in her arms. With every breath she took, she had to push down hard to not cry out again. Her breathing was shaky and sometimes she hiccuped, because of the tears. 'Does Celina know?' Lucy whispered in her ear. Sara couldn't answer, because her head was buried in Lucy's shoulder. She slowly shook her head, scared Lucy would let her go. 'Does anyone know?' Sara thought about it and shook her head again. Only her old therapist knew and niece knew, but that was right after it happened. She hadn't talked about it in 3 years, not a word. 'How long have you been holding this in?' Lucy was concerned and remorseful at the same time. Sara didn't answer, which gave Lucy the feeling that it must have been long.

Even though Sara didn't want her to, Lucy gently let her go. Still allowing Sara to stay close to her, but also Look her in the eyes. 'You're gonna get through this, I promise.' Lucy's whispering voice felt amazingly soft against Sara's skin. 'We will take things slow and Celina and I will be here. Every step of the way.' Her voice was soothing, but it didn't help much. Even though Sara had already taken her meds, her anxiety was through the roof. her head was still spinning with a thousand haunting thoughts.

After a while, Sara sat up. 'I'm sorry.' It was the first thing she said. She had put a lot of energy into talking. She always had that. If her Anxiety or stress were high, words would flatter away like butterflies. They would fly around in her stomach, making her feel sick. It would take a while for them to quiet down and come back. She didn't look up at Lucy, scared she was just pretending to care. 'You have nothing to be sorry for.' She explained, not liking her way of thinking. 'I understand, more than you think.' Lucy's last words were thicker than the others. Sara didn't know what, but something hid behind it. Something hard. Hesitantly, she looked up into Lucy's eyes. 'You think you know what I have been through?' She asked, doubtful. To Sara's surprise, Lucy nodded. Sara looked down at her hands. 'Not to be rude or anything, but a lying boyfriend isn't the same as being kidnapped for two weeks.' Sara didn't believe her. She didn't want Lucy to compare her huge trauma to her stupid break up. It was something a lot of people did, but nobody seemed to understand that that didn't help at all.

Lucy, who had been looking at Sara this whole time, faced away from her now. Staring out in front of her. She couldn't tell Sara this story while looking at her. 'For me, it wasn't in a fancy restaurant, but in a bar, after a 36 hour shift. His name wasn't Kai, but... Caleb. ' His name still triggered her, so she took a small breath. 'I had met this guy, Caleb, in a bar a couple days prior the... "accident". And on December 8th 2019, after a long shift, I needed to blow off some steam. I went out with that guy. He, he drugged me and kidnapped me and brought me to a landhouse in the middle of nowhere.' Lucy talked very slowly, allowing her feelings to take the lead on the story. Sara stared at Lucy as she continued.

'When I woke up the next morning, he was tattooing me.' Lucy pulled up her sweater, showing Sara the place where the tattoo had been. The tattoo removal had left slight scarring and grey dots in that area. You could still see the letters and numbers a little, like they were trying to shine their light through a forrest of skin cells. 'Day Of Death 12- 9-1 9.' She added when she saw that Sara was trying to read what it said. Lucy stared into Sara's Nordic Blue eyes. They looked even prettier now they were filled with tears. 'Have you heard of Rosalind Dyer?' Of course Sara knew who that was, so she nodded. That made telling the story a little easier. 'And did you follow the news about her apprentice, Caleb Wright?' 'The man who had been killing in her name, of course. We were told about that in the academy. Why?' She asked, but then it hit her.

'You were his fourth victim?' Lucy sighed, took a breath and told her about everything that happened in those two days. She told her about the stroll with Rosalind to find her other victims and how that messed her up. She told her about the date and the drugs. About the Tattoo and the time she tried to escape by running out the door. How she dropped her ring on the ground, so the others could find her. The song she sang as she consumed the last bits of oxygen. How she cried into Tim's arms, who was still her training officer at the time, once she woke up surrounded by her friends and colleagues. She even told Sara about the time she, Nyla and Angela went speed dating to test her sense of judgement and how terribly wrong that went. She talked and talked until every last word was out. While she talked about it, she realised it was almost 5 years since the last time she talked about this. She surprised herself by how emotional she was about the subject, but she needed to tell her story.

Once she was finished, Sara just stared at her. She was shocked. She would've never expected such a story from her. She pictured Lucy just as scared and broken as she was, but that was hard. She was always so happy like a butterfly on a rainbow in front of a pink sky, even through the bad days. But this didn't fit that picture. She pictured Lucy crying in the middle of a desert kind of location, surrounded by tens of worried cops with rescue dogs. Sara didn't know how she had to picture Tim in that story. He was still her training officer when this happened, but that didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't worried about her. Did he already like her at that point? She decided not to ask about it. Why would that be important?

Next part: November 26th 2024