Celina's Lover

31- Shower

Sara was sitting on the bed as she watched how Celina walked around. She had been sitting there for 10 minutes now, not able to ask her question. It was floating around inside her head, while she doubted about asking it. She needed to, but how? She was lingering. 'Celina?' She said, just loud enough for her to hear. Celina stopped and turned around. Now it was even harder. She wished Celina would read her mind, but it didn't work like that. 'I need your help.' She admitted. Celina let the bag in her hand, fall on the ground. 'Okay, what do you need my help with?' she asked back. She bit her lip as she stared at the floor again. 'So... I trust you and you're the only one that could calm me down in the past days.' She stopped and looked up. She wanted to continue, but she had run out of words. 'And?' Celina asked, not knowing what she was asking her. 'And... I haven't showered in five days.' Sara hoped she would get the hint. Celina laughed. 'Yea, I've noticed, but I didn't really want to say anything.' Celina admitted. Sara gave her a disapproving look. 'I'm messing with you. Yes, I'll help you. You're gonna be fine. Let's go.' Sara was relieved, but anxious at the same time.

Celina made the bathroom ready and grabbed everything they needed. Then she wheeled Sara inside. She could see how scared she was and stopped her. 'I know this is scary, but I'm here. I'll help you and if it doesn't work today, We'll try again tomorrow.' Sara nodded and watched how Celina turned on the shower. Instead of moving, she froze. Celina saw it and hugged her from behind. 'You can do this, I promise.' She whispered in her head. Celina turned the shower back off and helped Sara take off her clothes. Then she sat her down on the plastic garden chair. She grabbed the shower head and handed it to Sara. 'First you try your legs and we'll go from there.' She explained. Sara turned on the water and waited for it to get warm. Celina was still wearing some clothes. She was in her underwear and an oversized shirt. She had her hands on Sara's shoulder and watched how she waited for the water to get warm. She was testing the water with her hand, but Celina could see that she was lingering. The water was steaming and the room began to get damp. She waited, Sara didn't move.

'I can't do this.' Sara's words were breaking apart and her throat got dry. Celina kneeled down behind her. 'Yes. You can.' She whispered in her ear. Sara was hesitating, but she did it. Sara felt how the warm water streamed over her knees and over her feet. She gasped and opened her eyes. She had surprised herself a little. Kai had been the last person to be there with her as she showered, but with Celina, it was different. With Celina it was better. Celina was actually helping her do something scary, not the other way around. She felt Celina's hand on top of her and she felt the water getting higher and higher up her legs. Once the water reached her stomach, she froze, not moving her hand even an inch closer. 'I can't.' She said again, her voice even more broken as before. Celina didn't say anything and just took the shower head out of her hand. Sara closed her eyes, locking the tears inside. She felt how the water disappeared from her body. She was scared and Celina knew. 'Just breathe, I'm not going to hurt you. You're okay.' She whispered again. She focused on her breathing.

"Calm down Sara, Celina is with you. You're going to be okay."

Sara kept repeating in her head, but it sounded like a paradox. She held onto those words and they slowly grew bigger and bigger. She felt Celina's hand on her shoulder. 'Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you.' Celina waited for a couple seconds and then she felt it. Very slowly Celina moved the water closer to Sara's right shoulder. She jumped a little once she felt the water fall over her shoulder. She felt it run down over her breast and chest, over her stomach and down her leg. 'You're okay, just breathe.' Celina kept repeating. She slowly switched to the other shoulder and back. After a while, Sara got used to the feeling. Her heart calmed down and she sighed. 'It's nice, isn't it?' Celina grinned. 'Nice is a strong work, but it's better.' She corrected her. 'Ready?' Celina asked and Sara nodded. Still slowly, Celina began to wet her hair and the panic came back again.

"Breathe"

"Breathe"

"Breathe"

She kept repeating in her head. Celina felt her getting tense again. 'No no no, stop, please stop!' Sara said loudly, but Celina didn't stop. Instead, she gently pressed the showerhead against Sara's neck and lowered her head next to hers. 'You're going great. It's okay to be scared, but don't let the fear win when you're so close to the finish line.' She whispered into her ear. Sara swallowed, pushing down her feelings, but the tears stood in her eyes. 'I trust you.' She whispered back with closed eyes. Slowly, Celina brought the water back to her hair. She gently pulled Sara's head back and shielded her face with her hand, making sure the water wouldn't get in her face. Once her hair was soaking wet she turned the water off. 'Hold this.' Celina said as she handed Sara the showerhead. She took the shampoo and put it into her hair. The sweet smell of coconut reached Sara's nose. It was nice that the water was turned off for a moment, but what was way better than that, were Celina's hands massaging her scalp. Her eyes closed as her head fell backwards. She heard Celina laugh and she smiled too. 'Not so bad, he.' Celina said. 'No, this is amazing.' Sara growned, enjoying every second. Celina gave her a quick kiss on the top of her nose, which made her giggle even harder. She continued for a little longer, but then it really became time to rinse. Sara handed her the showerhead and immediately became tense again.

Just like before, Celina began easy. She started at her shoulders and back and made her way up. Sara felt the water run through her hair, rinsing out all the shampoo. She felt Celina's hand on her hairline, protecting her face. She opened her eyes and started into hers. Celina smiled at her and Sara closed them again, trying to enjoy the rinsing just as much as the massage, but it wasn't the same. The conditioner went way quicker and didn't make her tense up that much. Once they were done with her hair, Sara shampooed her body too and rinsed it as she talked to Celina, trying to distract her mind. The whole time Celina had her hands on her shoulders, just watching her, being prouder than she had ever been. At the beginning, she was crying and now she was already smiling. Celina knew too that she still had a long way to go, but this was good progress.

After they were done, Celina helped her into a comfortable outfit. She dried Sara's hair with a towel. The drying felt almost just as good as she massage and Sara's eyes closed in pleasure. 'I really hope I haven't ruined your curls. I've never done this before.' Celina said and Sara laughed. 'Honestly, I don't care. This is amazing and nobody is seeing it anyways, so please don't stop.' Now Celina laughed too. Once Sara's hair was dry enough, they went back to the living room where they watched a couple episodes of their favourite cooking show.

After two episodes, it was 10:30 and Sara started to fall asleep. 'Celina.' Lucy alerted her. She looked up and followed her finger to the half asleep girl against her shoulder. She looked so peaceful on her shoulder and if you didn't know any better you would think she had the best life possible. An amazing relationship, a good career ahead of her, no worries. Celina woke her up. 'Let go to bed.' Sara didn't bother protesting and not even three minutes later, they were both lying in bed, cuddling up under the blankets. 'Sara?' Celina whispered in her ear. 'Hmmm.' A half asleep girl answered, just to let her know that she was still awake. 'I'm proud of you. I know today wasn't easy and I know that trusting me enough to help you wasn't easy, but you did it and you didn't panic again. I'm so proud of you.' Celina said, her voice soft but clear. She gave her a kiss on the forehead and continued. 'I love you.' That woke Sara up, but she didn't move.

"I love you too."

Sara thought, but something was holding her back from saying it. Instead, she buried her head deeper into Celina's shoulder and wrapped her arm around her body. Celina gave her another kiss on her head and held Sara's arm around her waist in place. She heard her sigh before her mind slipped into a deep sleep.

Next part: December 10th 2024