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F¡rst Dârk Thëñ Càmē Līght

He saw home in the dark until he saw the light.

.............................

It was dark. Normally, everyday, that's all he'd see. But here, in his mind, it was just the black against nothing beyond it. Never ending, falling, always empty and silent. 

He was sitting down in it, looking at a blue mist of fog that showed memories. Douxie smiles when one with the demigoddess comes into view. He's spent so much time with her, even as they fled Arcadia in order to protect her from the Arcane, she was always there when he was dizzy from work or helping with a spell that their enemies couldn't track down. She was there when he couldn't hold in the thoughts of Merlin, on cold grass, dying little by little in his arms. She was there until she wasn't, anymore. Her words were echoing in his head and the last trace of her was swimming in the gust of wind just like his Master did.

Then it's skipping to Archie. His companion he's had from the start. Archie had always been his family and best friend. He watched his familiar and him running in the woods together. Back to when he was way younger and naive. He smiles at the times when Archie would lecture him but it was only for his safety because his familiar was always worried for him. Archie and him held a strong bond not because of a familiar oath binding them but because they could read the other without much difficulty. It was easy to tell if the other was in danger, upset or saddened. The familiar bond only makes it stronger. Making their connection significant. Suddenly it feels as if Archie never left sitting on his shoulder. It feels as if he wasn't trapped behind a wall blocking the interference of space and time in another place.

And then there was Merlin. He doesn't know which hurts worse out of everything he's already lost in a matter of centuries. But he does know that he'll always blame each lost one on himself. Because if not him, how did Merlin lay dead in his arms? If not at his fault, how had Nari had to option to sacrifice herself as he desperately tried to reach out with every strength in his body to just grab on to her? If not him, then who was to blame for having Archie trapped with his own father just to get one simple artifact? Not him? Then who? Because Douxie's hardly seeing anyone to blame for mistakes that were clearly his own. His own doings.

When Merlin had said those last words to him, calling him son, it felt like he died there too...

Suddenly he feels a tug and stands up, spelling away the fog from view. And he looks out into the real world. He frowns as he sees the trollhunters of Arcadia surrounding his body that lay limp next to his messy bed. Each having a face of either fear, shock or worry. He watches Claire kneel next to him, tears in her eyes as she shakes his shoulder. Douxie can slightly feel the sensation from within his dark mind. When she wasn't met with a response more tears streamed and he watched someone hurriedly go to make a call. He watches Jim curiously searches his room and by then it was too late. When he finds the empty bottle of pills, cap gone, he gasps in realization. He hears a cry, a shout, an ongoing call but by then it's already too late.

Douxie looks away from the teens, feels the way the darkness tugs at him. And he finally drifts in with the darkness of his mind. Closes his eyes and for a minute he smiles. The light gets brighter and he melts in the feeling.

...but by then, it's already too late.