The Incorrect Quotes Ft. ICT

part l

Virat: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Rahul: Homicide.

Jas : Murder.

Hardik: Homiecide

           ————–––———————

Hardik: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind.

Jassi : Thank god.

         —————–––———————

Virat: can I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Hardik: Microwave for 40 minutes.

Rohit: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!

Hardik: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t own any pots…

Rahul: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!

Hardik: Microwave for 40 minutes.

            ————–––———————

Rohit: Why are you late? Where's Hardik?

Rahul ( sighing): Hardik and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Virat ( sighing): What did he do?

Rahul: hardik chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Hardik: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

           ————–––———————

Virat : So, what's for dinner?

Rohit, staring at the food he burnt: Regret

           ————–––———————

Hardik: If we’re in trouble, just throw Rahul at the problem, and hope for the best.

           ————–––———————

Rahul: Is something burning?

Hardik, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Rahul: hardik, the toaster is literally on fire.

            ————–––———————

Hardik open his mouth to speak -

Rahul: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

            ————–––———————

Hardik: Oh my Rahul.

Rohit: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?

Hardik: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

[ virat chokes on water]

            ————–––———————

*talking on the phone*

Rohit: Remember how I said that virat and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?

Mahi: Yeah…

Rohit: Well, we’re in jail.

Mahi: *hangs up*

             ————–––———————

Virat: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Rohit: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

Virat: I don't know, surprise me!
 
              ————–––———————

Virat: Hardik once told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

             ————–––———————

Rohit, driving jassi and Hardik : So how was your day?

Hardik: We almost got surprise adopted!

Rohit: What?

Jassi : We almost got kidnapped.

Rohit: Oh, okay.

Rohit: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

          ————–––———————

Rohit : Is stabbing someone immoral?

Virat: Not if they consent to it.

Mahi : Depends who you’re stabbing.

Jaddu : YES?!?

           ————–––———————

Rohit: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Virat: Plane tickets?

Rahul: Concert tickets?

Hardik: Prostitution?

Rohit, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

           ————–––———————

Rohit: *Screams*

Virat: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Jaddu : Should we do something?

Mahi: No, I want to see who wins.

            ————–––———————

Rohit: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Virat: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Rohit: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JASSI WITH ME!

Mahi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

          ————–––———————

Hey everyone!
This is your author, here, peeking out from behind the scenes.

I hope you enjoyed these hilarious (and maybe slightly out-of-character) incorrect quotes with the cricket squad.

This is my first time writing a book, so I'm kinda nervous. If you're enjoying the content, please vote, leave a comment and let me know!

Happy reading!  And stay tuned for the next dose of chaos!