Feathers of Yesterday (Lost Dreams Series 1)

Chapter 20

Nothing can be more heartbreaking than losing your parents. As for me, I consider my Mama as my father too. Kasi siya rin naman ang tumayong tatay sa akin. And now that she's gone… I feel like I've lost both a mother and father.

Two weeks after her death, I have no choice but to continue going to school. I've realized that my mother would always want me to graduate and reach my dream.

That's why I decided to go back to school, kahit na masakit pa rin. As expected, I've received a lot of condolences from my classmates. But none of it can ever suffice the pain in my heart. I would just smile at them to assure them that I'm fine. Para na rin hindi na nila ako kulitin. I would love to have peace and silence at this time.

“M-may quiz tayo mamaya sa Principles of Tourism. Maikli lang naman, basahin mo ‘tong notes ko para may maisagot ka mamaya,” Kelly spoke beside me.

Nanatili naman akong nakatulala habang narito sa library. I'm planning to study the lessons that I've missed for two weeks. But I can't seem to focus.

"Salamat,” kinuha ko naman ang notes niya at nagsimulang magbasa.

Kahit nawalan ako ng mahal sa buhay, hindi ko pa rin papabayaan ang pag-aaral ko. I would always prioritize it over anything else. I must strive harder now that my mother's not here to support me. Kailangan kong ipakita na kaya ko pa rin.

“Mauna ka na muna sa classroom, may dadaanan lang ako," paalam ni Kelly habang naglalakad kami pabalik ng classroom.

Kaagad naman akong tumango sa kaniya at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Tulala pa rin ako at wala sa sarili habang naglalakad. Mas madalas akong tulala kapag nasa kwarto lang kaya mas maigi na rin talaga na palagi akong nasa labas ng bahay. Sa tuwing maaalala ko si Mama, kasunod ko namang maaalala ang ginawa ni Tita.

I hated her to the core for caring too much about the money. Sobrang sama ng loob ko nang malaman na tinanggap pala niya ng walang pag-aalinlangan ang perang bigay ng mayor para hindi na kami magsampa ng kaso.

If I would still insist to file a case, it would be futile now that Tita has spent half of the money. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ginamit ang ganoon kalaking pera. I don't have the right to ask her because I became an outcast now in my own house. I can feel that they are starting to take over the power. Hindi ko na kayang sumagot-sagot sa kanila ng basta basta kasi wala na akong kakampi.

Pinunasan ko ang luha sa pisngi na hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na pala.

“Ms. Perez?"

Mas lalo ko itong pinursiging punasahan nang makasalubong ko na naman sa paglalakad si Sir Castro. Siya ang professor namin para sa Principles of Tourism.

“Are you okay?" I can hear the concern in his voice.

I immediately nodded.

“Yes, Sir. I'm fine."

I just want him to believe me because I'm really fine. But instead of walking away, dumiretso pa ito sa akin at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang braso.

“Are you sure? Umiiyak ka."

“O-okay lang po talaga ako," I insisted.

He guided me towards the near bench and made me sit. Nakatingin pa rin ito sa akin at pilit akong pinapaharap sa kaniya. Pilit ko namang tinatakpan ang mukha ko.

“Kung gusto mo samahan muna kita sa clinic? You can take the quiz later on."

Mabilis akong umiling sa kaniya.

“Kaya ko po, Sir," giit ko.

I had my review a while ago. Kahit naman ganito ako, kaya ko pa ring sagutan ang quiz niya. Although I'm not expecting a high score because I can't focus completely.