Feathers of Yesterday (Lost Dreams Series 1)

Chapter 22

I told Isaiah that he doesn't have to buy me another drink, I'm already full. In the end, we just decided to wait for the jeepney so that we could go home.

When the jeepney arrived, he immediately grabbed my hand and guided me inside the vehicle. Napatingin naman kaagad ako sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa akin. I thought it's just normal since he knows I'm bad at commuting. Iniisip siguro niya na mawawala ako kapag hindi niya ako hinawakan.

But until we sat inside the jeep, he still held my hand tight, as if he doesn't like to let it go. Buong oras ay nakatingin lamang ako sa kamay naming dalawa. I feel like I'm floating, I feel really weird inside me.

Tumikhim na lamang ako at pasimpleng binawi ang kamay sa kaniya. I felt him staring at me, but did not say anything.

“Gusto mong maglakad-lakad muna?" tanong niya nang makababa kami sa bayan.

I immediately agreed with him. I don't feel like going home tonight. Maraming tao sa bahay ang ayokong makasama. But I don't have a choice but to live with them.

I don't have the power to throw them out of our house.

Tumigil kaming dalawa ni Isaiah sa tapat ng Basilica at naupo sa mga bench na naroon.

“Kumusta school mo?" I asked out of silence. Hindi ko pa siya nakakamusta simula nang mamatay si Mama.

"It's fine, medyo nagiging busy na rin," he replied. Tumango ako sa kaniya at muling tumitig sa simbahan ng Basilica Menor ni San Miguel Arkanghel.

Malaki ang simbahan at gawa pa noong panahon ng mga espanyol. Malamig ang simoy ng hangin dahil madilim na rin.

Naibaba ko ang tingin sa lupa nang dumaan ang lungkot sa mga mata ko. This coming Saturday was my 21st birthday. My mother and I would usually go to church and then eat at a restaurant after. Hindi na ako naghahanda kasi dalawa lang naman kami palagi.

But now that she's gone, how can I celebrate my birthday?

“Are you… living alright in that house?” he asked all of a sudden. I can hear hesitation in his voice.

I lifted my eyes on him only to see him staring at my face, as if he's reading my expression.

Natawa ako ng mahina.

"Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong oo."

‘Cause I'm really not fine in that house. I'm not fine with those people.

Natahimik kami ng matagal. I felt a bit sad because I know something between us changed. Before, we were never this quiet. He always had something to tell. He always had stories to tell. Mas sanay ako na maingay siya.

Pero ngayon, sinasabayan na niya ang katahimikan.

I wish we could go back in time.

"Azi…" he called my name using his soft voice. I brought back my gaze to him only to see his serious expression. “Gusto mo bang tumira sa amin?"

Bakas ang matinding kaseryosohan sa boses niya. Napaawang ang labi ko sa gulat. Although we're really close friends, I can't believe that he could offer me to live in their house that easily.

Tumawa ako upang itago ang kaba.

“Baliw ka ba?" tanong ko habang tumatawa. “Okay pa naman ako sa bahay na ‘yon. Although it's kinda tempting, I admit. Pero hindi ko iiwan ang bahay namin. Para ko na ring binigay sa kanila yung bahay na pinaghirapan ni Mama."

That's ridiculous. Insanely impossible. Hinding-hindi ko hahayaang mapunta lang sa kanila ang bahay. Sooner or later, I'll figure out how I can make them leave.