Feathers of Yesterday (Lost Dreams Series 1)

Chapter 35

“I love you so much that I'm willing to risk my dreams!"

Isaiah and I have been friends for more than four years now. I admit that sometimes I think some of the things he does as a friend are quite confusing. He would always hold my hands when we were alone, hug me close or kiss my forehead. Minsan iniisip ko kung normal ba talaga iyon, pero binalewala ko lang lahat because he was never vocal.

Actions are confusing without proper words.

Kaya nga hindi ko makuhang maniwala kaagad sa kaniya.

I gulped several times and blinked my eyes as if I was trying to find fault with the situation. For a minute, no one dared to speak between us but he is still giving me the same intensive stares.

“Stop joking, Isaiah," I finally said. Sinubukan ko pang tumawa pero nanatili siyang seryoso.

Here's the thing.

All of the things he said are completely absurd for me. First, he doesn't want me to abort the child. Second, he wants to be a father. Lastly, he said he loves me which is totally impossible.

“You don't believe me." He said in a declarative voice. Para akong pinapatay ng kaseryosohan ng tono niya. Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko ngayon pero sinubukan kong kumalma.

I tried to laugh again but I sounded more like coughing.

“S-sino namang maniniwala sa'yo? Kahit sinong makarinig niyan matatawa."

I was literally crying a while ago, I was so frustrated with the argument with him. But now, I feel like my heart is going to come out from my chest. I feel so nervous.

I was trying to laugh, trying to remove the tension. But Isaiah kept on giving me the serious expression that he had never given me before. It's making me nervous, because I'm close to believing it.

“Why? Do you think it's impossible?" he asked me in a low voice.

Muli akong napalunok.

“Yes. It's i-impossible! Magkaibigan tayo—"

I was cut straight when he cupped my cheeks and kissed me. I was so shocked that I wasn't able to move for a while. The kiss was short but I was catching my breath badly when he let go, like it lasted for an hour.

Even after the kiss, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Napapikit-pikit ako habang nakatingin sa kung saan. Hindi ko magawang mag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. I was shy, confused and shocked.

“I'm sorry." A minute later, I just heard his apology. Dinig ko ang paglalakad nito paalis subalit hindi ko pa rin nagawang makagalaw. Tuluyan lang akong natauhan nang marinig ko ang pagsara ng kwarto niya.

Huminga ako ng malalim at wala sa sariling napaupo sa sofa habang pilit pa ring pinoproseso ang nangyari. I touched my lips unconsciously. He kissed me. It was not something a friend would do. He might have proved his words but I just can't believe it yet.

Sa loob ng ilang taong pagkakaibigan namin, hindi ko napansin.

O baka naman hindi ko lang talaga pinansin?

I was preoccupied with the idea that we are friends. He was the first genuine friend that I had so I never dreamed of turning our friendship into something else.

Ramdam ko pa rin ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko nang bumalik ako sa sariling kwarto. Napaupo ako sa kama at doon muling natulala. Paulit-ulit kong naalala ang mga nangyari kanina na parang sirang plaka.

He really did kiss me. Hindi naman ako tanga para isipin na ginagawa iyon ng magkaibigan. Sabihin na nating totoo nga, pero hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.