Make You Mine {FILLIE}

38

Finn's POV-

Where do I even start.

Over half a year ago I was the happiest I had ever been. Me & Millie were at our strongest, I had close friends, & Mills was happy.

Somehow everything just changed. We started arguing every single day, I thought we were just spending every day together & that's what caused it. But i don't think it was.

Growing up, I always shut down out of nowhere. I guess it is just a reaction to my childhood, always feeling lonely & abandoned.

I fell in a really dark hole & took it out on Mills & it costed me our relationship.

She left me for it.

At the time I didn't realize I had a big part in it, so I did the only thing I knew that would hurt her.. getting with the one person she hates most.

I don't know why i did it. I hated Iris, I never felt anything for her. Hell i couldn't even get hard...

I just thought that by doing this it would make Millie regret leaving me & beg for me back. Turned out she didn't even care, or so I thought.

She completely acted like it didn't even bother her, & it hurt me so badly.

I tried to get over her & actually try with Iris but i couldn't. I was miserable everyday. Everytime we kissed I would just imagine it was Mills.

I wanted to tell Millie for months that I loved her & wanted her back, but I felt like it would just hurt her more in the end. I was very wrong.

And when I was in the bathroom with her at the party I just couldn't help myself, I needed to feel her touch again.

There were so many things I wish I could've done differently.

I know I shouldn't dwell on the past, I mean me & Mills are together again. & trust me I WILL NOT make the same mistakes again.

She has been so strong ever since losing her mom, & it made me realize something.

I don't want to go another second without telling her how i really feel. Mills mom passing made me realize that life is short, and you never know what is going to happen.

So i know i'm only 18, but i've decided.

I'm gonna propose.

"So what do you think?" I asked caleb, pacing around my room.

"Dude. I get you're in love but this is insane. Don't you think you should think about this a little longer?" he asked, setting the paper next to him on the bed.

Yeah i wrote that down... I express my feelings better through writing.

"I knew you would say that. I don't give a shit Caleb, I was gonna marry her eventually, so why not just do it now." I shrugged, sitting down next to him.

"Dude you don't even know if she's gonna say yes." He chuckled, making me gulp.

"Fuck. I didn't think that far ahead." I scratched my head, side eyeing him.

"Look, do what you want man, you know I support you. But don't make irrational decisions, think about it okay?"

"Yeah yeah." I sighed, laying down on the bed staring at the ceiling."

"I'm gonna go i've got a date with Sadie, i'll see you man." He dapped me up, leaving my room.

The plan was to go to UCLA for college, but I can't leave millie. I know everyone says not to base your decisions off of a girl but fuck it, i'm in love.