Control The Uncontrollable // The Acolyte

36. Truth Hour

"Where are we going?" You asked.

Elzar had been giving you the silent treatment, and you couldn't really blame him. You would've given yourself the silent treatment if it wasn't for the voices in your head being so loud. Even when he was supposedly acting 'mad' at you, it was just a facade he put up. Inside of him you sensed a worry, some strange form of love and caring. It didn't feel like you deserved his empathy, still he couldn't stop himself from displaying it.

A sudden warm feeling began to grow inside of you, as you looked outside the widow's the second you jumped out of hyper space. This was Norovegr, this was home. You could see the water, the fresh grass and hear the song in the force. Your eyes went back up to Elzar, who was trying to hide a smile, but you knew it was there. You sat back, and took the seatbelts on for the landing.

Maybe you judged Elzar too harsh. Yes, he was a Master and did need to give you lessons from time to time, but it didn't mean he couldn't also be your friend. Maybe even those educational moments came from a friendly place. It was definitely easier having him calling you out on your bullshit behavior than the rest of the council. The second you landed, you took off your belt and ran out.

The Jedi often spoke of peace, and nowhere in the galaxy were more peaceful than Nórvegr. It was a place where any soul could feel at home. A planet of the Republic, with no warfare. The Jedi had taken you away when you were just an infant, but still, on this planet you always felt at home. Parked far away from the nomadic life of the planet, the two of you were completely alone, surrounded by small water pools, framed with the green grass.

"I thought a reminder of where you came from would serve you greatly," Elzar spoke as he walked out behind you.

You looked back up at him and a smile grew on your lips. Elzar had a warm presence, like a kind embrace. He stopped when he caught up with you. His smile was soft, but gentle. Sometimes you felt guilty around Elzar. Guilty, because ever since the two of you met, you had been a true disaster of a shitshow, and he was always there for you. The force knows what would've happened if Elzar didn't speak up for you in front of the council. They trusted him, and he chose to trust you. It was like he turned a blind eye to all your flaws. Elzar nodded his head towards one of the natural water pools, and you followed his lead, walking with him. You sat down in the grass, and rested your head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," you whispered.

The wind was refreshing, clearing up your mind. The sun is warming up your cheeks, giving you a warm hug. The water was shimmering, magical. This was your home, no matter how little time you had spent on this planet, it felt natural. Most Jedi preferred to stay on Coruscant. It was the place you grew up in, in the middle of the galaxy, busy, lively and at peace. It made sense, and you liked Coruscant. The Temple. The library would always feel like a home, a place you could learn and grow, but it was on planets like this, you truly felt at home. Where the grass was green, the water was wild and reminded us of what life truly is.

"Y/n?" Elzar asked.

"Yeah," You whispered, staring out at the beautiful nature.

"I feel like I need to tell you something," He said, his voice was serious. You lifted your head off his shoulder, wanting to see his face. His eyes looked sad, but you couldn't read what his worries were for.

"I told you that intimacy is light, and it is, and it can be, but..." For the first time, it sounded like Elzar struggled to formulate his sentences, like his heart didn't know what direction to lead him.

"What he did to you, it's not love," his words finally landed how he wished. He could see the struggle in your eyes, as you absorbed his words.