Control The Uncontrollable // The Acolyte

41. The Role Of A Master

Master Sol got silent again. You sensed it was something he was hiding from you, or perhaps even just holding back. A part of you wanted to just wrap a hand around his neck, and force him to speak, but you silenced that voice inside of you. No matter how angry you were at Sol, you never wanted to hurt him. It was difficult to admit, but you feared you loved him. Loved him the same way a daughter loves her father, unconditionally. It was what made the portrayal feel even harder.

"He is dangerous, and for some reason, you struggle to see it," Master Sol spoke, now his voice was soft, more humane.

He didn't lie.

You looked away.

"How many times did you have a chance to end the suffering, but you let him go," Your eyes went to the ground, not willing to fully absorb his words.

"A Jedi doesn't kill," You mumbled the words, not fully believing in them yourself.

"A Jedi is allowed to kill in self-defense, if it's no other option," He reminded you.

You chew on the inside of your mouth. Maybe a part of you believed it was other options, but you knew the answer to that. No other option was worth all the lives that Qimir had taken. The only reason you justified it was because of your hope for Qimir. A hope that shouldn't be there. A hope that was truly not hope, only a disguise for the attachment you had for him.

Master Sol was right, and it hurt to hear it. The anger you had on the inside for him, slowly vanished. It wasn't fair of you, to blame him. It was you who needed to change. Master Sol was just being a... Jedi, following protocol. He was not attached to you, but he saw your attachment to Qimir and deemed it too dangerous. Any sane Jedi would've done the same. Make the tough, but emotionless decision.

"Okay," Your voice was sincere.

You understood, it was nothing to discuss.

"I just felt like you were leav-" You looked back up at him, he shook his head at you.

"Don't let your emotions cloud your mind," He warned you, but gentle and warm. Like any Master would.

Ah, what he said was so easy to say, but incredibly hard to live up to. You used to be robotic, just like them, but something had changed inside of you. Still, over the last few days you had found yourself back, into your hard shell. Tactical and pragmatic. Listening and absorbing without judgement. Becoming a Jedi Master had fueled you with a new energy, and this mission a new perspective. You opened your mouth.

"I just think that if it was Bell, I wouldn't be able to look away," You said crossing your arms, in the memory of your former Padawan.

Master Sol began to laugh, and you didn't understand why. None of what you said was a joke, or even slightly meant to be taken as one.

"You may resent me at this moment, and all the times I kept out hope for you, but I always kept you close Master Y/n," He spoke, knowing that this was far from the first moment such feelings had lingered in your heart towards him. He knew that you despised his hope for you. You found his positivity aggravating, naive. For many, many years you never believed the council would change or listen to you. Now, you had finally gotten what you wished for, despise your strong disbelief in the past. Master Sol was many things, flawed and shallow, but he did never stop hoping for you.

"Some might even argue I kept you too close," You knew he spoke the truth.

You remembered all the whispers over the years. The cold shoulders. You believed Master Sol was naive for thinking the Council would change their opinion of you, but they thought the same of him, but the opposite way. The Council believed Master Sol was naive for having hope in you. He had fought for you every day, for every step. You clinched your jaw.

"You don't even have an idea of what your padawan is going through," Master Sol lifted his chin.

Your eyes shot up in confusion. What did he mean with that?

"I know Bell, he is on Naboo, he guards King Bon Tapalo," You said, your hands falling down.

Master Sol lifted his eyebrow, you really didn't know.

"The Council are reviewing him, they have gotten a request for another Jedi wishing to take his place," He explained, concerned you hadn't been informed. Normally, the council would share such information across the boards.

"Who authorized this?" You frowned.

You might not be a perfect jedi, and the council might have thought you to be a strange one in the haystack, but Bell was perfect. He did well growing up in the Order, not exceptionally, but within a timely manner. He was kind and strong. Bell was traditional. Everyone loved Bell. The council even loved Bell. It was a reason why you had been asked to train more younglings, because beside your perhaps at times destructively behavior, you did know how to raise younglings. Bell was a proof of your love for the force.

"Master Vernestra," You swore under your breath as you heard the name.

She must be trying to play with you, exactly like she did when you were growing up together.

"Who are they sending?" You asked, trying to compose yourself.

"Her new Padawan, she seems to seek to prove herself ready for knighthood, Tasi I believe is her name," Master Sol explained.

Your hands formed into fists. This was not a power play from Vernestra. This was Tasi seeking revenge. You could feel it all across the galaxy. You immediately turned around, walking straight towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Master Sol shouted after you, concerned.

With two fingers, you pushed the door open with the force. Elzar away from the wall looking at you worried, you were not hiding your intense focus.

"We are going to Naboo," You shouted back to him.

Your hand tighten around your lightsaber. Tasi could hurt you all she wanted, but you would not let her lay a finger on Bell. You had to stop her.