Clouded Hearts

30: Past

Achelois

"Tinitignan mo nanaman." Napalingon ako kay Vinn na umupo lang sa tabi ko. Wala akong sinabi saka binalik ang tingin sa kung saan ako nakatingin kanina.

"In love ka, halata." Napailing na lang ako sa sinabi nito. Wala talaga akong matatago sa kanya.

"Stop it, Vinn." He clicked his tongue.

"Why won't you just pursue her?" Napaayos ako ng upo nang dumating ang binata. Napakuyom ang kamao ko nang iabot nito ang bulaklak na pitas sa bakuran ng kung sino.

"Are you jealous?" I poked my tongue in my cheeks. Konti na lang sasakapin ko na siya.

"You are jealous, ako na sasagot."

"Vinn can you just..." I took a deep breath. "Leave me alone." I don't want to speak words that I don't mean to.

"I am just saying that if you want her, why don't you pursue her. Why are you sitting here while gritting your teeth and clenching your fist? You are obviously jealous. You can give her the best, beyond the best. More than just a mere picked flower from the neighborhood." I averted my gaze and looked at Vinn.

"It's not as easy as you think it is."

"It is easy! You're the one who's being complicated. You are the one who's making it difficult. And in the end, who's the one that's suffering and in pain? It's you dumbass! It is always you!" I tucked my hair behind my ear.

"She's my friend-"

"Fuck that! You're not her friend! You're not treating her as a friend either. You're treating her so special, so unique and unfamiliar...to the point that she's just the only one who can have that treatment from you. What are you really? What's the label?" I caught off guard. He is right. Why is he always right?

"We are... more than friends but less than lovers." I lowered my head, kinda embarrassed.

"Bullshit Achi! That's not a thing anymore! Who's the one making that decision huh? If you like her, date her! Stop giving me unacceptable answers. More than friends but less than a lover, what are you a 14 years old student who's on the verge of falling in love? What are you feeling? Puppy love? That's too childish and Achi, have some class. Who wants a relationship like that? It's not clear and you will misenterpret each other for sure. Stop with that thing, you're not friends-"

"She said so! That's why I am being her friend!" Bulyaw ko rin sa kanya. Pinutol ko na ang sasabihin nito dahil pahaba na nang pahaba.

"You are not her friend. Friends don't steal glances from each other then look away when the others notice, like nothing happened. Friends don't look at each other as if they want to kiss." Nasapok ko s'ya dahil sa sinabi nito

"Why? It's true right? You can feel it also! Stop being blind Achi. You both want each other! All you have to do is approach and pursue her, court her and confess what you really feel towards her."

"Stop it Vinn.

"Aren't you jealous? He can do whatever he wants. He can even court her if he wants to" Pabalang ang tinging ginawad ko sa kanya.

"They're already friends before I even enter the frame. Of course, she'd be comfortable and... she would trust him. In fact, I'm not really involved. If he courts her then fuck the pain, endure it and enjoy...until it lasts." I look at them, laughing and smiling at each other.

"And so? You can't pursue her because you enter that freaking frame late?" I chuckled

"It's not like that. It's a choice. My choice."

"Your choice?! Then what is that? Why can't you pursue her? What's stopping you?!" Frustrated na sabi nito

"She treats me as her friend, I should treat her like one too. I could be with her, but sadly...my only role in her life is being her friend. That sucks." I blew a huge amount of air. Preventing myself from overthinking things that may occur.