Snowflakes Fall and So Did I

~CHAPTER 67~

~Friday~

I did not end up talking to Jack on Monday. Or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday. But today is the day...which is exactly what I said yesterday and the day before that and so forth. But it's got to be today before the weekend. Maybe I can come over to his house. Help him clean up or study and I can see how Jamie and Sophie are doing. Tooth has been keeping me updated, she even asked if I was ever going to be more present, which of course was hard for me to answer.

"I want to but it's hard." I had told her on Wednesday when she asked.

"I know it is, but maybe if you're around him more he'll remember," she had said as gently as possible, but it did not stop the guilt that ate at me. Especially when she said: " Jamie does remember though, Elsa. And he's a complete wreck. He's in therapy, but it's going to take some time. I know he'll appreciate having you around though. He loves you."

"I love him too," I had said, holding back tears. She had seen them though and held me tightly.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. We just...we're all struggling and I don't want anyone to push any help away. I know it would help you too. We need our loved ones during times like this and Elsa...my family and I love you. And I know you love us too. Just because Jack forgot doesn't mean we did. We need you and we're here for you. We'll never stop being your family."

And of course, my tears spilled fast and hard. It was a good thing neither of us rode the bus because we surely would have missed it. And now here I am, trying to not chicken out again. The school day has ended, the hallway is crowded like aways, and Jack is in the principal's office waiting for his grandfather. Anna and Rapunzel are on either side of me and Kristoff and Flynn are on the other sides of them. The four of them were overstimulating me with their words of encouragement, and while the intention was good, my nerves were not having it.

"You just gotta walk up in there, give him the smolder I showed you, and say hey," says Flynn. "Easy as breathing."

"I still think you should do it in a more private setting," says Kristoff. "Or at least don't make it obvious. It could weird him out. Be subtle about it."

"Well, I'm all for you being straightforward about it," says Anna. "Just be all Hey, I know you don't remember us dating, but would you like to continue? You can fall in love with me all over again."

"I don't know, Anna," says Rapunzel. "That might weird him out. I'm with Kristoff on this one. Elsa needs to be gentle with her approach. You and Flynn are gonna set them up for even more awkwardness."

Anna scoffs. "I take great offense to that."

"As do I." Flynn grumbles.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Ugh forget it. I can't do it. It's the end of the school week. He's most definitely tired. I'm not going to go bug him."

"Oh yes you are!" The four of them say in creepy unison.

"Does it have to be here at school though? Kristoff is right, it needs to be a more private setting," I tried to explain, hoping to buy myself some more time.

"How about the library?" Rapunzel suggests. "Kristoff or Flynn can take him there while Tooth tells North to wait and then you guys can–"

"Or," I jump in again, "We can not force it and wait until I'm ready. Or when he's ready–"

"But are you going to talk to him if he's ready and you're not?" Flynn questions, making me frown.

"I'd rather you be using your lips to kiss my cousin than question my actions, Flynnigan." I tell him and slam my locker door shut.

"I hate when you guys call me that," he whines, but then kisses Rapunzel's cheek. "But I certainly wouldn't mind some smooches."

She giggles and gently pushes his face away. "In your dreams, Flynnigan."

Smirking, Flynn says: "Oh in my dreams we do more than kiss, sweetheart–"

"Flynn!" She smacks his arm, blushing madly.

A pang of jealousy hit me hard and I had to look away, but when I did I'm face to face with Anna leaning against Kristoff, his arm over her shoulders. She fit into his side perfectly, like a puzzle piece. I'm happy she found true, pure love, but I can't deny the pain that I feel at my love being taken away.

"Elsa?" Anna says, noticing my pained face. "Are you okay?"

No. I won't be for a while. "I'm overstimulated and want to go home."

I want to talk to Jack too. I really, really do, but I don't want to inconvenience him even more. The first week was hard for me, so I can't imagine what it must be like for him. I should wait until he comes to me and hopefully, if he does, I'll be ready too.

Frowning, she says: "Okay, let's go home."

But when the four of us walked past the office, I saw him sitting in one of the seats, Tooth and Bunny sitting next to him, and I froze in my tracks. I've seen him plenty throughout the week, but knowing that I won't see him for two days and that this is my chance to finally speak to him in person...I'm questioning if I should really let this opportunity slip through my fingers.

It was torture not speaking to him during those two weeks, but I managed. Surely I'll be okay not talking to him for two days, but...I've already lost so much time. I miss him. I should–

Tooth sees me and suddenly gets up. She calls out my name and I'm saying every curse word I know in my head. My stomach flips violently when Jack looks over at his adopted aunt making her way to me. Flynn, Rapunzel, Anna, and Kristoff were a few steps ahead of me and they all stopped and turned when they heard Tooth. When she approached me, she grabbed my hands.

"I'm so glad I caught you before you left," she says, happily. "I mean, even if I missed you, I most likely would have texted, but anyway. I'm wanting to throw a little get-together tonight. I'll text the information in the group chat. I know it's very short notice, but I was wondering if you would come. I know things are weird with you and Jack, and I know we had that talk on Wednesday, but I promise this isn't some sort of setup. This is for Jamie. He's been skipping his classes. His middle school principal reached out to North, and I think it will brighten his mood if we do something fun for him tonight. We can have a sleepover! What do you say?"

A sleepover with Jack? Before everything had happened, I would have said yes with no hesitation, but now it just seems like a bad idea. We're going to be very uncomfortable the entire night. But Jamie...he's skipping classes? He's not okay, which is obvious, but he shouldn't be skipping school. I understand why. I've done it myself, but I'm behind now because of it. I don't want him to struggle to catch up. Maybe he really does need this. Needs me. I need to stop being selfish. I need to put my complicated feelings about Jack aside for right now. Jamie has become a little brother to me, and he needs his big sister more than ever before.

"I..." I glance at Jack, who was already looking at me, and to my surprise he doesn't look away. Instead, he gives me a little wave. It was a friendly gesture that I know didn't mean anything, and yet, it felt welcoming. Or perhaps that's what my heart wants it to be. He looks away when I don't wave back, making me feel guilty for not repeating the gesture, but my entire body and every nerve within me is on overdrive. And then I say something I hope I don't end up regretting: "What time do I need to be there?"