Motionless in White One-Shots

Love this girl *Vinny Mauro*

I had been sat staring at my phone screen until a hand covered it, causing me to look up.
"Stop ruining your own night." His words were soft as he stood infront of me. I gave him a half- assed sad smile in return as our eyes met. "Let him miss out, that's on him. But you're missing memories with us, the people who have always been here and always will." He wasn't wrong. The last decade of my life had been spent with these boys and I had went through everything with them.
"Sorry." I mumbled quietly.
"I get it. Now scootch over." He smiled as he nudged my knee with his own. I scooted closer to the wall of the booth, making room for Vinny to sit beside me. He made jokes with Ricky and dipped into other conversations with the guys from time to time as he looked over the menu. I zoned out, watching everyone socialize with smiles on their faces. A drink being placed in front of me was what brought me back after I had lost track of time. But it had been long enough for one of them, most likely Vinny, to order me a lemonade and the server to bring it. I looked from my glass, over to Vinny who was talking to Ryan. I rested my head on his shoulder ad I snaked an arm around him in a half hug.
"What's this for?" He asked, returning the hug.
"I'm sorry, and thank you."
"You've got a lot on your mind. You don't have to be sorry." In the moments I couldn't find the grace to give myself, he always did.
Through out dinner and making conversation I still found myself hopelessly checking my phone from time to time. I didn't understand. What happened? Where did I go wrong? We had been fine for months and sure, things change but it just was odd.
"He's not worth even the thought." Vinnys voice spoke quietly, leaning in to keep the conversation private as he grabbed my phone from my hand. "If you have to even wonder where he's at or why he's not getting back to you then he's not worth it and he doesn't deserve you."
"Maybe he's just busy Vinny." I sighed, trying to convince myself just as much as I was him.
"And maybe you should be honest with yourself because you deserve to move on to better." He found my hand under the table and gave it a light squeeze, sitting our hands on my leg as he kept a hold.
Men sucked. Well, having trauma caused by men that forever make you weary of all men sucked. Having trust issues was the worst. But at this point it really did come down to the fact that things were just ending. There was nothing to be done. And it wasn't like it was a very long relationship anyways. I rested my head against Vinny's shoulder once more.
"Do you wanna dip after this?" His words were quiet as he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. As far as I had been aware, dinner was the only thing planned. So he wasn't really asking to ditch anyone, it was just a weird way of asking if I wanted his company. But that was Vinny. Always a weirdo. I nodded my head.
Everyone had finished eating, at this point we were all just hanging around to talk to each other and have a good time. Vinny ordered a drink off of their alcoholic menu and when it had came he pushed it infront of me.
"I've gotta drive the princess home, it's all yours." He joked. He didn't have to drive me home, but that was just Vinny. Always caring, always thoughtful.
Was drinking really the best idea? Probably not but it was one drink. Besides I wasn't going to let his thoughtfulness go to waste, so while we all talked and spent time with each other I drank the cocktail.

"You know I hate inflating your ego but, you're way too pretty to be staring at a phone screen waiting on some dumbass to text you. You deserve more than to wonder where you sit with someone, worrying over it when you should be having the time of your life. Baby, if he doesn't do it all for you then he's not it Jordan.
You should have a guy who brings you flowers to your door every chance he gets, someone who constantly reminds you of how amazing you are and how lucky he is. Someone who's gonna call you all the time just to hear your voice. He's not it." Vinny spoke as we sat together in his car.
"I guess." I sighed, blankly staring out the windshield.
"You know I'm right." He put the car into drive before heading off. When I reached for my phone I realized he still had it... and somehow I couldn't find it in me to care to ask for it back. It was almost a relief. I was tired of checking it anxiously and I was done giving a damn.
"You deserve doors opened for you, to have your hand held, someone who looks at you like you're the best thing on this earth because you are. Someone who holds you like they never want to let go and touches you softly. Someone who doesn't make you have to wonder. Someone who would do anything for you." His words brought tears to my eyes and I realized they weren't just because of how sweet he was being. But it was because I wanted that for myself, but didn't believe I was even worth it. It was fairy tale shit and this was the real world.
"No one does those things anymore, Vin."
"If they're the one, they will. If they care enough, they will." He squeezed my hand as he held it. "I know I joke about your ego all the time, but maybe you actually need to realize what you're worth. Because it's more than the guys making you feel like this."
We ended up going back to his place and crashing on the couch while we watched The Last of Us. Although it really was just background noise since neither of us paid attention to it.
"Vinny, this is stupid." I had rolled my eyes at him some point in the conversation.
"No its not. Come on." He stood up and offered me his hand before pulling me up with him. He led me to his bedroom before standing me infront of his closet mirror and standing behind me.
"Vin.." It was almost embarrassingly stupid.
"No. I'll do it with you but this is important right now."
Vinny walked me through affirmations, and despite my protests made us spend fifteen minutes repeating them in the mirror. I felt stupid but he was hellbent on it.
"You gotta love this girl so that other people can love her too." He spoke as he held my back to his chest, his arms crossed around me. "You're amazing, Jordan. You just have to learn to see that. The second you do, everything's going to change. I promise you.
And I also promise that I'm going to be right here, shoving all of this down your throat untill you finally get it and see it for yourself."
I ended up staying the night and we stayed up late watching movies in bed before crashing at three am.

Just a little reminder to love yourself even if someone doesnt.