Motionless in White One-Shots

Vulnerable *Vinny Mauro*

What they don't prepare you for is how lonely life can be sometimes.
Growing up you're surrounded by family, classmates, teachers and everyone else you have to be around.
But things change when you grow up, especially if you choose to move away like some people do.
I didn't move far. Only about an hour from my hometown and everything was good for a while. But there's that old saying about how when it rains, it pours and I guess that was the start of everything.
I had already felt pretty isolated, only having the guy I was seeing and my best friend around me. But I tried to stay on the positive side. I had a cute apartment that was all mine, I had a job and had a decently nice car. I felt like I couldn't complain. Besides, between the two of them I really was never alone. But I felt so alone. Being far away from everything I had known definitely put me in a bit of a dark place. And that's when I noticed the decline of contact with Colby. Everyone has their own lives and things to attend to so I was understanding and patient.
We had spent every weekend together that we could since I had moved here, so when I found myself home alone in bed on a Saturday day night.. I couldn't say I felt great about it. But I sucked it up and put on a TV show while I ate my feelings out with junk food.
I was half way through an episode of Wednesday when my phone rang, causing me to jump. My caller ID read 'Vinny' so I was quick to answer it and put the show on pause.
"Hey. What's up?"
"What are you up to?"
"Just watching TV. Why? What are you doing?"
"Actually, I know you're usually busy on the weekends but, I was hoping you'd come join a dinner party? It's bring a plus one and.." He trailed off.
"And I'm your plus one. Got it. When's the dinner?"
"At seven."
"Seven tonight? Vinny, that's in an hour. I can't even get ready in an hour."
"Just throw some clothes on and brush your hair. You look fine."
"Vin, I'm a mess."
"I highly doubt it." But Vinny couldn't see the faint trails of mascara down my face or my swollen face from crying and I perfered things to stay that way. He didnt need to know. I saw a FaceTime notification pop up on the screen, and reluctantly accepted it so our conversation was switched to video chat.
"What's wrong?" Vinny asked softly.
"Nothing, Vinny. I'll get ready." I shook my head as I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
"What's wrong Riley?" His tone was a bit more serious as he waited for an answer.
"Do you want me to get ready or not?" I asked, the annoyance clear in my voice.
"I want to know why you were crying."
"We'll talk about it later. If we're gonna make this party then I need to get ready, and if we talk now I'm gonna ruin the whole process."
"Fuck the party. We don't have to go. I didn't know you weren't up to it or I wouldn't have asked. Please. Tell me."
"I'm just tired, Vinny. Im..." I fought the tears untill I couldn't anymore. As I trailed off they fell down my face. "I feel so alone, and I miss my mom. I don't know that I'm doing this right. I don't know if I'm meant to be here."
"I'm sorry you feel like that. You know you're never alone though, I'm right here. Always. And I'm sure mom's watching over you every second... You know what, why don't we just forget about the dinner and I'll come over. How's that?"
"No. Don't miss your thing because of me."
"You're more important. There will be more, I'm sure. I'm heading out now and I'll see you in twenty."
The twenty minutes after we hung up gave me time to let all of my feelings and emotions out in an attempt to get myself together before he arrived. I really didn't want to have a pity party infront of him.
As I let him into my apartment building we headed to mine. The second the door was shut and locked, his arms were wrapped around me in a comforting hug.
"You know, you could've called me. I would've been over at the start of this."
"I'm not gonna call you just because I'm sad. I can take care of myself."
"Riley." He sighed. "You know what I do when I'm sad?" He asked, pulling back so we were at arms length while he caught my eyes with his. "I call you. And there's no shame in that. I know the one person who can always put a smile on my face and the one person who's always there is you. There's nothing wrong with leaning on someone. That's what friends are for.
Now I should be asking where our lovely man's at, but why do I feel like he's got a part in this?" His tone held sarcasm and a bit of undying hatred. Vinny was never Colbys biggest fan. And I couldn't even say he was wrong for it, he had his reasons.
Still, I rolled my eyes at his comment and looked away.
"He didn't do anything." I didn't want everyone to dislike the guy for things that were stupid. The fact that I was even upset over the things was dumb enough in itself. Like really, it could be worse.
"My point exactly. He never does anything for you."
"Vin, Stop. I meant he didn't do anything wrong."
"And he doesn't do anything right either. So why are we holding on?" It was a pretty valid question but I wasn't in the mood to think too much about it.
"Can we just not talk about him right now?"
"Right, sorry. So what's all going on? Lay it on me." He spoke as he invited himself into my space and took us to my bed.
"Everything's just been too much. Work is stressful, being here feels lonely, the car issues, the medical stuff, having to questions someone's loyalty. I think I must've taken a wrong path, because there's no way I'm meant to be here. Not if it's this chaotic."
"Life gets hard before you level up, Riley. And if you want my honest opinion I think that some of this is happening to teach you the one lesson you just refuse to learn."
"Which is..?"
"Which is how to ask for help. How to let people be there for you. You're so stubborn. Your car wouldn't have been as big of an issue as it turned into if you would've just asked for help in the beginning. I would've came over, we would've changed your battery and it would have been fine but you're so stubborn.
I can't do anything about the rest besides be here for you, but you know I am. I mean come on, Riley. How are we this close and you still won't let me help you when you need it?"
"Vinny, I don't need the lecture."
"You do. You clearly need something. But it's fine if you'd rather just have a pity party tonight and then we can save the talk for later." He laid back on my bed and watched me with careful eyes. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly. I shook my head as I held my emotions back. I wasn't doing this infront of him. He gently reached up and pulled me down so I was laying on his chest. "Bottling it up isn't going to help anything. And it's just me. Let it out Ry." The dam broke and the tears came flowing. I was just tired. I couldn't catch a break and I felt like I was all alone. As much as I hated to admit it, I just needed someone to be there. I felt weak. "It's gonna be okay." He soothed as my tears soaked his tshirt. Somewhere in me, I knew he was right. It just didn't feel that way right now. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. And being this vulnerable made me sick. I was always tough and independent. I didn't need anyone but some how here we were. He gently took my hand in his and rubbed the back with his thumb as I still laid on top of him. I let myself cry until my head hurt and I was sure I was going to throw up before I moved on.
I pushed myself up, but stayed straddling him as I wiped my tears away and groaned.
"It's okay to admit you need someone."
"Vinny, I dont-"
"Everyone needs someone. We're humans, babe. We were made to function together. If we didn't need other humans we would be robots. Stop being so damn stubborn." His voice had a bit of a strictness to it while still managing to be soft.
"I'd be lost without you and most of the people in my life. There's no shame in admitting that here." He spoke, holding my hands as he really tried to drill his point in.
"Well you're not me."
"Even you need someone, missy. Stop playing games and lying to yourself."
"I don't need anyone!" I raised my voice right before he yanked me back down. Our faces were an inch apart as he stared into my eyes.
"So I could just walk out that door and never come back, never even speak to you again and you'd be okay?" The thought hurt me as I narrowed my eyes at him. Why did he have to pull that card?
"Dont." I mumbled quietly, shaking my head.
"Don't worry, I would never. I need you too much and despite the fact that you won't admit it, I know you need me too." He kissed my cheek before sitting up, bringing me with him. "But one day you're going to admit it."