give me a reason |n.s| ✔ - editing

Chapter 8:

dedicated to BeMyLight because i was hyped to update because of her.
-elle

status: edited

Harry’s POV:

It has been like this for months.

Secret meet-ups, sneak-outs and I just felt myself falling further in love with him.

I know it’s all lust and experiments for Niall but it’s not for me.

I’ve fallen deeply in love with him and I don’t know if it can get any deeper than it already is but you should know that we still aren’t doing anything besides kissin.

I want to go all the way but we can’t.

He has a girlfriend.

I really don’t know what our relationship’s called. It can’t be fuck buddies because we aren’t fucking, just snogging and I’m definite we’re not boyfriends too because Niall doesn’t like me that way.

Atleast I think he doesn’t. I’ve brought it up so many times but Niall just either shrugs his shoulders, pounces on me, or changes the topic.

(flashback)

He was on the fridge, fixing us something to eat when I suddenly felt the urge to talk about our relationship.

“Hey Niall?” I ask from the couch and he peeks at me over the fridge.

“Yeah Haz?” He smiles sweetly. I can feel my palms suddenly get sweaty and I flush all over.

Am I seriously going to ask him this?

“W-What are we?” I stammer and his eyes widen.

“What do you mean us?” He asks curiously and did you hear that?

That’s the sound of my heart breaking into million pieces. I decide to leave the topic and I can feel my eyes getting teary and I just need to get out of here before I break into tears.

“Uhh- nothing, forget about it- I should uhm- leave.” I get my jacket from the couch and walk towards the door when suddenly a hand grips my arm, making me turn around.

“I’m sorry Harry.” He looks at me with those huge blue eyes of his and suddenly I freeze in my position.

“I-I just don’t want to put a label and ruin this." He stutters and bites his lip.

We all know I can’t resist him so I envelop him in a massive hug.

“I’m sorry for asking that, nevermind… It’s alright. I was just confused.” I say truthfully.

"I know Harry, I just really like kissing and spending time with you more than Kirsten.” I wince at her name but he tightens his hug around me so I can’t do anything but sigh and let him snuggle up to my chest.

“It’s okay if you don’t want this- I’ll just ask someone else.” He says and I immediately picture Niall with another guy in my head.

NO, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

“No! I want this. I want to help you.” I lie.

What I really want is us to be together.

He beams up and stands in tip toes then kisses me on the lips after that when I bring the topic up all I get is a shrug of shoulders, or him changing the topic.

(end of flashback)

“Niall.” I panted and timidly pulled away from our kiss. We were lying in their bedroom and he was straddling me.

“Are you getting tired of kissing me?” He looks hurt as he stops and asks me.

“No. I would never get tired of kissing you, what makes you think that Ni?” I brush my thumb over his heated cheeks and chuckle softly. He leans in again but I dodge my head slowly, causing him to kiss the corner of my mouth.

“Niall, I can’t feel my lips anymore. Can we stop for a while?” He pouts while flopping down beside me and hugging me.

“Kirsten might catch us you know…” I play with his hair while he buries his head at the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent and I shudder at the simple action.

“She won’t. She’s going to be home late… Work or out with friends.” He kisses my necks slowly and I shut my eyes, indulging in the pleasure of Niall’s lips.

“Again?” I manage to ask and he lifts his head and nods.

“Oh Ni.” I say and he puts his head on my chest while I continue playing with his hair.

“D-Did you ever try to- you know- ask her to b-break up with you?” I chew on my lower lip and mentally curse myself for my stupidity.

I shouldn’t have asked that. He lifts his head to look at me and narrows his eyes at me again.

“I can’t do that. I love her.” He says and my heart shatters.

“Yeah…” I try my hardest not to sob in front of him.

“Thanks Harry.” He pecks me on the lips and wraps his arms around me again.

If you only knew how this is hurting me, and the reason I’m keeping this up is because of you, I love you… And yet, I’m just your play thing, nothing other than a stupid experiment… I thought.

I still try my hardest to show that I’m not affected by his words and let myself relax again under Niall’s hug, even though I just really want to run away and bawl my eyes out and talk to Meggy and then have her comfort me after. As if on cue, Niall’s phone rings at the bedside table and he reaches it.

Great. I can leave now and sulk in my flat but to my disappointment, Niall shakes my shoulder and his lips pout and eyebrows furrowing while reading the text sent to him by I don’t know who.

“Who’s that?” I prop myself using my elbows.

“Louis…” He replies worriedly before climbing out of bed and rushing over to their closet to find new clothes

“Louis‘s in town?” I ask quizzically.

It’s because Liam, Zayn and him both went to the same university but Niall and I chose a different one.

“Yep." He says popping the “p” at the end. He hands me a shirt and I stare at it curiously.

“Just thought you wanted a new one…” He says before slipping in a new shirt.

I let my eyes stare at his yummy 6-pack and endless torso a little longer than necessary.

“No Liam? Lilo?” I ask and take my shirt off and slip on his shirt.

It smells nice. Smells like him. My Niall.

“No… Louis wants to get wasted. He got into a big fight with Liam… So I think we might be drinking a teensy weensy tiny bit.” He says collecting his jacket and getting the car keys.

This is trouble because Louis loves drinking and he never fights with Liam.

Why can’t I help but feel something is going to be wrong here?