give me a reason |n.s| ✔ - editing

Chapter 28:

I’m glad to be back, that’s all I want to say and since we’re nearing to an end. Please voice out every lovely thought of yours; pour your hearts out to every chapter that I’d be posting since we only have three chapters left and then an epilogue, to be exact.

GIVE THIS CHAPTER SOME LOVE PLEASE.
-Elle

Status: Edited
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Harry’s POV:

Hopeless.

Hopeless is the word that would perfectly describe Niall and I at the moment. There’s nothing more to say than the fact that we are hopeless.

He had fallen into this state of depression that I caused and I couldn’t even try to pull him out of it, I wanted to, so badly. I wanted to pull him back up where he truly belongs, here in my arms, where he would flash that beautiful smile of his and his eyes would sparkle so much and it was just breathtaking.

 

Every part of him was-still is, breathtaking.

I wanted to bring him back but he didn’t want my help.

He wanted nothing to do with me, his best friend, his fuck buddy.

When we talked earlier and he broke down, in front of me, I couldn’t bear and accept the thought of me doing that to him, he loved me, he actually loved me and what I did in return was break him apart, reject him.

But it wouldn’t be fair to Michael, would it? To suddenly break things off just because I had the one person I always wanted to have. Michael was there when he left me, hell Michael was there every single moment I broke down crying, the moments I almost killed myself from drinking too much, he was there, to wake up beside me and nurse me and my hangovers, everything.

He did everything for me and I couldn’t give that up just for… Just for Niall, who shut me out when I told him I loved him, just because he wasn’t sure about his sexuality.

Everything isn’t fair really.

Niall should’ve fallen for me years ago, when we experimented, when we first kissed. We should’ve been a couple way back, then we wouldn’t have to be friends with benefits, he wouldn’t have cheated on Kirsten, there would never be him and her in the first place, I wouldn’t have met Michael, Niall wouldn’t have been broken hearted when Kirsten cheated on him, there is never going to be a forced first time and then I wouldn’t be broken and just…

Everything would be better if he just, if he recognized his feelings, if he caught up to them the moment our lips first touched.

Damn it, why is this so screwed?

“Harry.” Zayn brings me back from my trance and I look up at him, my eyes obviously fresh with tears.

“What is it Zayn?” I try to smile but it comes out as a sad one, it was forced and I hated it, I just wanted things to go back before it was all screwed up. I didn’t want a complicated life, I never wanted one, I just wanted something that I could never have and look where it got me, us.

All I’ve ever wanted was Niall.

“Niall… Is he okay now?” He asked worriedly, biting on his nails. Zayn didn’t look like himself, he had bad hair, he seriously needed to shave (and shower but I won’t tell him that).

“He’s… He’s not Zayn, I believe, I can’t… I can’t do anything.” I sough, running a hand through my face, I was getting frustrated, and I never quite liked frustration, it often led to depression and I didn’t like feeling that again, I did a lot of idiotic things when I was depressed, but I didn’t dwell on them long like Niall has.