Daddy Issues

88 - Unhappy

I still feel like I'm dreaming or something. Just yesterday I was coming back from this amazing weekend with Dan. Then this morning I lost my job and now I'm stuck far away from home with the last person I ever thought I'd be having dinner with again. My dad.

We've ordered food and gotten some drinks that I've now got my hands clutched around tightly. He's fidgeting nervously, drumming his fingers on the table. Neither of us know where to start. But again, he's the one to break the silence.

'Well, I'm so glad you're doing well. You got into med school, that's really impressive.'

Doing well? He has no idea.

'I mean, I also dropped out,' I say uncomfortably.

'Oh, who cares. If you can get into med school, you can do anything.'

I give him a short smile. How was this guy ever with my mother?

'Have you figured out what you want to do now?'

'Um, I've applied for medical engineering. It looks very cool.'

I sent in my application a few days ago. I freaked out about it, already scared that I'd get rejected, but Dan was there to help me through it. If it all goes well, I should be able to start in September. The biggest problem, of course, is the money. But I've applied for scholarships and loans so I'm hopeful that it will all work out. I didn't tell Mom about any of this.

'Really?' he asks, clearly impressed. 'Wow, you really are smart. I'm proud of you, Emmy.'

He's proud of me? Those are words I haven't heard from either of my parents in a long time. It's what I've longed for, but hearing them now, after being left alone by him for so long, it just feels weird.

'It's not like I got in yet,' I shrug.

'I'm sure you will, though,' Dad reassures me. Fuck, this is weird.

'So what else have you got going on in your life? Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend,' he adds quickly. 'Or... anything. Anything's fine, of course.'

I chuckle a little. Mom's always so poised and focused. She doesn't get flustered, not even when she's angry. She just gets lethal, then.

'Yeah, I've got a boyfriend. We've been together for a couple of months.'

I'm happy to tell him that. But I'm not going to go into any detail about how we met.

'That's nice. What's his name?'

'His name is Dan.'

'Dan,' he repeats. 'Does he treat you right?'

I snort a little indignantly this time. He wants to ask me now if a man treats me right? After abandoning me for years?

'Of course,' I tell him. 'He's very sweet. He's always there for me.'

I think my dad catches the sharpness in my tone. But before he can react to it, the server appears with our burgers and fries. We wait in loaded silence for him to put everything on our table. And then I'm momentarily distracted because I was starving.

'See, I told you they were good,' Dad says when I make an appreciative noise after taking my first bite.

'I was so hungry.'

'I still can't believe it. Lainey just left you here with absolutely nothing. How can you do that to your own daughter?'

'You can't believe that?'

This time, the waiter isn't around to save him from reacting to my tone. He gives me a guilty look over his burger. Then he puts it down and swallows.

'So, I guess we got to talk about it, huh.'