Always, Snape

The weak and the strong

He found himself in front of Snape's door before he even knew where he wanted to go. Sure, he had the illogical desire to just knock and talk with Snape but he also knew he couldn't give in to such a stupidity. Snape would let him never forget him this fauxpas. He would probably kill him for just knocking. But would that be that bad? Harry stilled, completely caught in his musings. He was so tired it hurt so much he possibly could die from it. But he had to be strong. Strong for his friends, strong for the world and strong...for Snape. So he would not be weak. Determined he turned around to...

...bump into Snape who stood right behind him. Harry fell hard to the ground. Just how long had he been standing there? Snape looked somehow irritated as Harry came into his view due to his askew

invisibility cloak. "What is your head doing in the corridors, Potter?" Snape said softly. "Your head is not allowed to be in the corridors. No part of your body has permission to be corridors."

"I'm sorry, sir." Harry said quickly and tried to get up but he hadn't any strength left. He wondered how he had enough stamina to made all the way down the dungeons. "You look terrible." Snape stated. Crap, Harry realized he didn't wore his concealing charms he carefully put into place every morning. "I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't sleep." Harry barely managed to stumble to his feet. "You still refuse to take any dreamless sleep?" Snape asked bitterly. The boy nodded. "Indeed. Then why are you here?" Snape frowned. "I don't know. I just couldn't lay in bed anymore." Harry admitted ashamed. "I see. Follow me, Potter." Snape spoke the indignation to the portrait, a giant snake, and lead Harry into his chambers. He pointed towards an armchair. "Sit." He commanded. Immediately Harry slumped into it. "How long haven't you slept?" Snape asked. "Since term started." Harry confessed ashamed. "This explains your disastrous performance in my classroom." Snape sneered. "I'd like to see after a week without sleeping." Harry muttered. "Although, better not." He added remembering the last lesson. "10 points for insolence, Potter." Snape drawled his thin lips curling into a sneer. "You have missed taking points from me, haven't you?" Harry mocked him. "5 more points, potter." Snape hissed satisfied. "And now go to bed." "Can I stay here, Sir? Suddenly the arrogant facade broke and the boy seemed rather afraid. Snape almost couldn't bear seeing his cocky boy so desperate. "I didn't mean yours but mine." Snape growled before he could think any better. Harry just gaped at Snape astonished of such boldness but got up as the man opened another door which lead to his bedroom with only a bed in it. Harry managed to reach the bed with great effort. He had the feeling he could sleep for a century and maybe he would do just that right here, right now.

Snape watched the boy dozing of to sleep. Who was he to deny Harry if the boy offered himself on a silver tablet. He forced this thoughts away. Maybe he was not a nice man but an honorable one. Later he joined Harry in bed who was silently snoring. Snape watched him for a long time thinking about what he should do about it all or more what he wanted to do about him.

The young Gryffendor woke quite refreshed, but without a real memory about where he was and what happened. Unsure, he looked around to find himself in a king sized bed with green blankets. The room was gloomy due to a weak fire which kept the room warm. Harry needed some moments to realize in whose peculiar bed he was. As it hit him he could have bit himself. Of course it was Snape. It was always Snape. Seemed like the whole universe gathered around the man. Harry had no idea how Snape would react to him in his rooms but he was sure he was annoyed. The man was always pissed off for various reasons. Harry inhaled deeply to clear his thoughts. He had been sure Snape didn't want him anymore, but why was he here then? Harry figured his various feelings for the man like curiosity, guilt, awe, hate, need, fear, love would never alter. Alright, prepared for the worst he stood up. Swiftly he controlled his appearance in the mirror by the door. His hair was sticky as always but he didn't care. His eyes were still dark underlined in contrast to his pale skin. At least he had gained muscles over the summer and wasn't that thin anymore.

Anxious he decided it was best to encounter Snape earlier than later in case his bravery left him once more. After a calming breath he opened the door and looked into a spacious living room or library due to the amounts of books which stood in long wooden shelves. This room was also not fully lit and Harry's eyes needed sometime to adjust. He hadn't payed attention to his surroundings the other day and was now eager to see how his professor lived. There were a small sofa and a desk and much things that looked as if they belonged into a museum. Harry realized this room could be a variation of Dumbledore's office although there was no a cheerful headmaster but a moody Snape who sat in his armchair reading. "Hello professor." Harry said shyly. "Potter, are you alright now?" The other mans eyes narrowed as he turned his look away from his book. "I guess." Harry said baffled about the impassiveness of Snape. "Potter, I do hope the things you are dreaming equate your loss of sleep." Harry stared to his feet. Sighing, Snape closed the book shut. "Please enlighten me." Snape drawled annoyed. "You mean why I am here?" Harry asked. Snape nodded curtly at him. "Like I told you I don't know, I couldn't sleep. Because...probably I am weak." Harry confessed. "What do you mean by weak?" Snape arched an eyebrow. "Apparently I am not able to sleep without you anymore. Satisfied?" Harry grew angry. "Funny thing to say, but I am, Potter, because you trust me to tell me true words." Snape said raising from his chair. "I will tell you therefore myself a little truth. Sounds fair, does it?" Uncertainly, Harry shrugged. Snape leaned into him. "Potter, I will tell you this just once so pay close attention. You are not weak. Do believe me when I say you are the bravest and strongest man I know so far." Now Snape stood only inches away from Harry. "But I am not flawless, how could someone expect me to defeat Voldemort and not fail?" Harry craved the mans closeness. "Nobody who is truly strong would burden this on you. Only the weak would and our duty as strong is to protect the weak." Snape murmured against Harry's ear. "But what if I am weak?" Harry asked. "Then I will make you strong I promise you. So one day you will be fine." Snape vowed.

"Weaklings will stay weak forever.

But weakness is not evil,

Since human beings are weak

creatures to begin with.

Alone, you feel nothing but insecurity;

That's why we form guilds,

That's why we have friends.

We walk together in order to live a strong life.

The clumsy ones will walk into more walls

than the others,

and it may also take them longer to get there.

If you believe in tomorrow and put yourself out there,

You can naturally obtain your strength.

That's how you will be able to smile and live strong."

-Makarov Dreyar

The next weeks Harry showed up in Snape's chambers on irregular intervals. He never came two nights straight, but never kept longer away than three nights in a row. Snape found himself almost wishing the boy to knock on his door which made him all the more annoyed if the boy showed up actually. During Harry's visits they never talked much. The boy seemed completely satisfied with just sleeping while Snape read or just stared at him.