The untold story of Kitty Pryde.

can't lie to yourself

* it's 2 weeks after Kitty has been suspended and she has not left her bedroom, spoken to anyone and hardly left her bed, Alfred is outside knocking*// Alfred- Miss Kitty-, there is a telephone to the main line, please take it. it is wolverine... Miss Kitty, you can not stay in there any longer.... what should I tell him?... Miss Kitty * there is silence as he walks away and Kitty turns over in bed and sighs as the door handle makes a noise and Bruce walks in as Kitty looks annoyed*// Bruce- get up and get dressed.... I've had enough of this pity party, get up and get yourself dressed and in that shower, look at the bottles of vodka, what the hell is wrong with you * she turns over* get up we are getting you out of this room... c'mon you need to move sooner or later and this is not any way to get better. self isolation and alcohol are just bringing you down// Alfred- she needs a bloody doctor // Bruce-  I'm gonna fetch a doctor if this keeps going on Kit * he looks down at her before sitting beside her bed // * Kitty is numb and empty a her eyes stare off into the distance as Bruce places a hand on her shoulder*// Bruce- for me, please can you just get up, have a shower and eat something * Bruce sighs looking at alfred who looks down* okay, alright * he get's up* keep an eye on her * he leaves as Alfred sits at the bottom of kitty's bed and there is a long pause*// Alfred- you know when you get this bad I would tell you some of my tales, but I think we have got to the point you know them more than me. I helped Master Bruce change your first nappy... before the agent pill shield had you on to make you less human... less human, funny isn't it, ironic some would say. When your mother died it was hard on your father, I remember he shut down, he handed you right to Bruce and he locked himself in the guest room. Master Bruce chose a room, he painted it, he bought and built your crib, he took care of your father, your real father and he raised you. when your father came around it was a good few months, by then he started work and Bruce took care of you. when you both moved out his heart broke, yes he saw you every single day, weeks at a time if your dad had a mission  but to him you were far away. then you got old enough that you were  in training yourself, Bruce was so angry at John for putting you in shield, so annoyed but he trusted his call... when your father died and the dreaded custody battle for you, that left a lot of trust issues and wounds, you know he only ever wanted the best for you. and how that bloody bastard Fury just handed you off to the league is something I will never bloody forgive until the day I die.... Master Bruce would walk the ends of the earth for you... it would be great if you could meet us halfway... we have all been through so much as a family Miss Kitty, we have not had it easy, we handle so much and yet we are so delicate and fragile. but we wear all that trauma and all those burdens on us like a scars, like a badge of everything that could not knock you down * she glances at Alfred who is looking somber and he sighs* we carry so much hurt but it never shows, the body can heal, the mind is another story isn't it. life's bloody unfair, it always has been and always will be but we keep going because who else can carry all this, all you do all we all do....  listen to me ramble on while I should be cleaning up * he get's up and notices her watching him* It would be nice if you could come back to us now Miss Kitty, we need you more now than ever * he nods at her and walks away and closes the door. Kitty thinks of the team without her and how she has nothing to occupy her not even being batgirl, she turns on the tv laying down as Tim knocks the door and calls out to her as he enters she looks at him*// Tim- I won't talk I promise, can I hang with you for awhile * she looks at him before nodding as he sits next to  her in bed* great, what we watching *she glances at him before looking back at the tv in silence, Kitty looks at Tim as he's laughing at the tv and she feels a lot of guilt for letting everyone down and guilt for Jason, he looks at her and she looks back at the tv*// Tim- can I watch a show * she hands him the tv remote and he rambles about his show as Bruce walks in with medication*// Bruce- here * he hands them to her and she looks down at the tablets then up at him* take the meds, Tim c'mon, we have work to do * Tim and Bruce walk away as Kitty stares at the tablets and her phone turned off on the desk and she sits up looking at them before looking at the door as tears stream down her face before she get's up and throws on normal clothes before driving to the local store and walking in to buy a bottle of vodka, she walks out and Nightwing is there on his bike*// Dick- nice to see you actually leaving the house , even if it was for another 2 bottle of vodka, what is that? the 14th bottle? sorry I have lost count * he puts his hand on the com* okay, copy. I am on the way... just get home and I know you're having a pity party but you need to snap out of it and stop the drinking, we need you back on the team * she mockingly salutes and get's in her car speeding away and drives to wayne towers which is boarded up as she phases in and makes her way to the roof and sits on the ledge and opens her bottle of vodka drinking then stands up and looking at the city  and stays there until the last drop is drank and she sighs drunk and  puts the bottle down swaying side to side as she closes her eyes and she is yanked backwards off the ledge by a man and as she yelps and phases out of someone arms and falls to her knees as she looks  up  shocked at the man in the red helmet*// Red- what the fuck are you playing at? * Kitty looks at the man shocked* you just went to throw yourself off// Kitty- No I didn't// Red- are you fucking kidding me * he squats down infront of her* all your drunk ass had to do was lean a bit more and you'd be splattered over the fucking pavement * Kitty is looking at him confused*// Kitty- who are you, why the hell did you just save me?// Red- so you admit to trying to jump// Kitty- I wasn't trying to jump, who the fuck are you?!// Red- SOMEONE WHO JUST SAVED YOUR ASS!// Kitty- I WASN'T GOING TO JUMP!!!// red- THE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP HERE STANDING ON A LEDGE?// Kitty- I DON'T KNOW, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!// red- BECAUSE YOU ARE CRAZY!!! THE FUCK YOU DOING ON TOP OF HERE? * there is a long pause* you need to go home, Now Kitty   * he takes the 2nd bottle of vodka and stands up sighing as he turns his back to her*// Kitty- how do you know my name, who are you? are you working for stryker// Red- mutant shit? don't be stupid * he walks away* go home! * she sits back against the wall of the ledge* // Kitty- no! tell me who you are?! * he walks away as she uses her powers to hold him still* tell me// Red- don't use your powers and start a fight.  you never liked having a disadvantage did you * she looks at him shocked *// Red- I feel sorry for you, you really are a fucking mess aren't you * she lets him go as she looks down dazed* that was your first mistake,  stop drinking vodka and leaving yourself exposed * he walks away inside the building and Kitty just sits there against the wall wondering who this red hood is and wondering if she was going to throw herself over or not, a long time passes as she pulls up the hood of her hoodie and crosses her arms still sitting on the floor* until the sun starts to rise and she stands up watching it over Gotham as she rubs her eyes and stretches and walks back to her car, she get's her keys out of her pocket as she is hit in the head and she falls into the car before turning and facing 2 men in a mask one has a knife and one the bat*// man1- give us the fucking keys bitch * Kitty grabs the bat and kicks the man in the stomach before the other man attempts to stab her and she stops his arm before punching him in the ribs and taking his knife, the 2 men attack her and she knocks them both out and calls the police,  gotham pd turn up in 15 minutes*// Kitty- you need to be faster in future// Gordan- miss Pryde, we got here as fast as we can, I know you are capable of dealing with this * the 2 men are arrested and Kitty hands him the knife and bat* and will you give an actual statement// Kitty- I'm giving you them, I don't want to report it but I know they have a lot of cases under their belts,  mine is irrelevant// Gordan- no crime is irrelevant, as you know in your line of work. I appreciate this, does Gotham have a new hero// Kitty- nope, I'll leave that to the batman and you guys ofcourse  * she gets in her car and drives off back to the manor and walks to the kitchen to grab an asprin rubbing the back of her head*// Bruce- hungover?// Kitty- more like hit from behind * he lowers his paper*// Bruce- what?// Kitty- 2 thugs, tried to take my car hit me from behind with a bat, called Gordan and they're arrested// Bruce- are you hurt?/ Kitty- splitting headache * she grabs a drink and takes the asprin and she leans against the table*// Kitty- I'm sorry// Bruce- please don't say sorry// Kitty- I am, for going back into a depressive episode, for shutting down. for everything. your company is destroyed because of me// Bruce- I won't hear talk like this, I am just glad you're talking again, I do think you need to get your head checked// Kitty- no, I'm okay. I don't know why I keep messing up and making enemies// Bruce- you're not messing up, you are doing amazing things and that is how you are making enemies// Kitty- I'm suspended from shield and x-men because I am dealing with a lot of trauma, but the winter soldier is important to me// Bruce- you don't know him// Kitty- I know him more than anyone and I owe my life to him, I care about him * Bruce sighs and puts down the paper* I'm not gonna stop looking for him and I know at some point hydra are gonna come to get me, Stryker made that clear. I am taken off the hydra case but I would appreciate it if you could keep an eye out for the soldier, for me// Bruce- I will, but we need to go into this being realistic and we need to get you some help// Kitty- I have too many secrets and enemies for help * Bruce sits back in his chair his hands interlocked looking at Kitty*// Bruce- okay, but you need to work with me// Kitty- don't I always  * he smiles softly*// Bruce- you have no idea how happy I am that you are talking and up and about// Kitty- let's not talk about that now// Bruce- you should get some sleep// Kitty- yeah I know* she walks away*// Bruce- hey... how would you feel if I held a re-opening gala?// Kitty- I would say it is up to you// Bruce- and would you attend// Kitty- I doubt it// Bruce- please, I need you by my side * she exhales*// Kitty- I'll think about it, how extra are you gonna make this one?// Bruce- over the top of course, I have a reputation. oh and Logan called lastnight to check on you again, just call him back * Kitty walks away and turns on her phone to see voicemails from no called ID and it is Logan leaving messages, she listens through them and all and messages a few of her team back, she has multiple messages from her team as she calls Logan and after a few attempts he answers*// Logan- Kitty?// Kitty- hi..// Logan- I've been worried about you darling, are you okay?// Kitty- I'm fine// Logan- I'm sorry that I hurt you physically and emotionally, I'm so sorry// Kitty- stop// Logan- can I see you, I can come to yours?// Kitty- no, my family are here. I'll meet you, the cliffs outside the mansion// Logan- why don't you come here// Kitty- I don't want too face anyone// Logan- cliffs, in an hour... okay I'll see you soon* Kitty has a shower and changes into another pair of jogging bottoms and a t shirt and puts her hair up in a bun before spraying herself with perfume and walking to the garage*// Alfred- Miss Kitty, how very glad I am to see you// Kitty- I'm just going to head out, I'll be back in an hour or 2// Alfred- alright Miss Kitty, I will cook us a nice brunch when you get back// Kitty- sounds good to me, thank you * he nods before walking away and Kitty get's in her car and drives to the cliffs and leans against the bonnet of her car waiting as Logan pulls up and parks beside her and get's out and he's wearing his wolverine suit and Kitty looks him up and down as he walks over too her as she straightens up and Logan walks towards her and wraps his arms around her as she squeezes him as tight as she can for a long time*// Kitty- I'm so sorry// Logan- you don't need to be sorry for anything// Kitty- I do, I'm sorry// Logan- I hurt you, I could have killed you * he pulls away looking to her arm*can I see// Kitty- don't be stupid, I got between you guys// Logan- you did it because you care about him... you have feelings for him don't you?// Kitty- it's not about that , I know that he needs help// Logan- you didn't answer my question, he is an enemy Pryde, I'm just doing my job// Kitty-because I don't know...  and I want to do that too but it's complicated// Logan- always is// kitty- well you made you feelings clear, then you wonder why I'm upset // Logan-and as proved I was right, I hurt you and I knew I would// Kitty- you hurt me anyway... do you know I love you// Logan- it's not love * she looks at him* it's not, you just thin-// Kitty- I love you, don't tell me how I feel because everyone around here can see it, everyone knows it// Logan- why are you telling me this// Kitty- because I need you to know, that I am in love with you and have been since we first met. I just thought you should know. I get hurt either way and you just so happen to always come running but you never tell me what I want to hear// Logan- you want me to tell you I love you// Kitty- I don't want you to tell me anything else, you rejected me for the last time. I just don't know about anything anymore// Logan- first thing is we need to get you back to yourself// Kitty- I'm not myself// Logan- which is why you don't need to complicate things with a new relationship or running after the winter soldier, you need to keep your head down and work on getting better// Kitty- easier said than done// Logan- are you working at night// Kitty- no// Logan- are you training?// Kitty- to tell you the truth I have been stuck in bed for 2 weeks and and i haven't spoken to anyone// Logan- this isn't getting better// Kitty- I am up and I am trying hence why I am here talking t you, or you'd still be blocked and ignored// Logan- have you been drinking// Kitty- have you?// Logan- right, okay.  I missed you// Kitty- yeah, I've missed you too// Logan- I've been calling your house phone// Kitty- I know, I was ignoring everyone, what have I missed// * Logan leans on her car beside her* // Logan- Mystique broke elfs fingers// Kitty- ouch// Logan- Jean has twisted her ankle and she's on on crutches// Kitty- are they okay?// Logan- as they can be, we're 3 people down, Bobby is visiting his parents so it's we're just pulling our weight// Kitty- feel like that was a hint// Logan- it was, when are you coming home// Kitty- I am still suspended and I don't think it will be for awhile// Logan- but the team need you// Kitty- I can't right now, my head is still a mess// Logan- you know work helps// Kitty- it's not work, it's breaking me// Logan- I understand Kit, but we really need you// Kitty- I know! I am trying// Logan- what can I do to help?// Kitty- nothing, I am still struggling with the attack and how bad things are getting, what happened to Genosha is still haunting me and everything feels like it is suffocating me and I am going to collapse at some point * Logan's phone rings*// Logan- hang on * he answers it* yeah... okay. yeah got it * he hangs up*// Logan- I gotta go Kit// Kitty- I know * he looks at her sad as she gives him a small smile as he sighs and puts his hands on her head and they stare at one another as Logan places his forehead on hers and she closes her eyes and relaxes before she puts her hands on his face smoothing his cheeks and he rushes away before looking at her as he speeds away and she stands there watching his car speed off into the distance  and she feels sadness and longing for Logan as she gets back into her car and speeds back to the Wayne manor and she walks in to find Bruce with a woman in the lounge as he looks at kitty and she walks up the stairs* // Dick- hey, look who is up and about// Kitty- hey// Babs- how are you doing// Kitty- I'm doing okay, how have you been?// Babs- great, it's been good to be out there but in all seriousness when are you putting the cowl back on// Kitty- not yet babs, but I'll be back to myself soon enough// Dick- until then it will be us and the big man// Kitty- exactly, and I see he has a guest// Dick- yeah, she seems...// babs- an airhead// Kitty- I see// Dick- we're gonna grab some lunch anyway// Babs- wanna join?// Dick- babs// Babs- shut up, come on, it will be fun// Kitty- I'll give it a pass, have fun though// Dick- we'll bring you back a treat// Kitty- just go enjoy yourself// Babs- okay, see ya// Kitty- bye * she walks to her room and sits on her bed sitting alone and reflecting a lot on things before walking to her balcony and opening the door and standing out there looking as if the winter soldier is just going to turn up and she sighs leaning on the rail as she sees Bruce and the woman walk around the garden as she sighs rolling her eyes and walks in and closes the door and curtains. she feels lonely and defeated as she lays down in her bed and falls asleep, 2 hours later her door knocks as she pulls herself up groggy and rubbing her eyes as Alfred walks in*// Alfred- are you coming down for dinner? oh I am sorry Miss Kitty, did I wake you?// Kitty- it's okay// Alfred- go back to sleep if you want// Kitty- I'm awake now * she rubs her eyes*// Alfred- you stay in bed, I will bring up your dinner// Kitty- thanks Alfred, you are the best * he leaves as she stretches and yawns as alfred brings her dinner and she eats it while watching an old barbie movie as she smiles at the characters and Alfred knocks and enters tot ake her plate and smiles at Kitty*// Alfred- you watched those as a little girl, I remember watching them on repeat and Master Bruce trying to find the dresses for christmas * she smiles as Alfred leaves smiling to himself until the movie finishes and she get's up to clean her room as Dick barges in *// Dick- I got you a cream cake, don't say I don't love you * he puts it on her side table and looks at the room*// Dick- good on you, proud of you * he walks away smiling to herself as Kitty actually feels tears in her eyes at this and walks to the cake and eats it*