Thinking Out Loud ➵zauren

Chapter 37

Lauren's POV
*3 weeks later*

Lauren opened up the door to the apartment, arriving home after work which she had started again. She was met with Zeus and then the same empty space she had for the last few weeks. After the night she took off her ring, she had not talked to Zayn once. She was so angry and hurt, she never would've imagined Zayn would pull something like that on her. Camila had stayed with her for a couple days but she felt bad keeping her from her home and from Harry so she insisted Camila went home despite her efforts to deny that she was needed elsewhere.

All the time Lauren now had alone allowed her to reflect on what was going on in her life and what was happening with her and Zayn's relationship. She was shocked that Zayn would accuse her of switching lanes between him and Luke. Lauren had made it so clear to Zayn so many times that Luke was nothing more to her but a friend. She understood that Zayn didn't care about that and that he believed Luke had more feelings for Lauren than what she was seeing but she couldn't bring herself to believe that; she knew he cared about her and he was a good friend to her and that's as far as that went in her mind. So when Zayn started saying those things about her preference to Luke over him it boiled her blood because Zayn was literally everything she had. He was the one person she cared about more than anything and she just needed him to be there for her when she broke down. Now that she looked back at it, he did have some truth behind what he was saying. She did very rarely talk to him and she did cry a lot but she was in that part of the grieving process and it killed her to think that he wasn't accepting of that. He needed to see that she was honestly not okay in anyway and that was how she was coping at the time. Lauren was baffled when Zayn question if he was her rock anymore because that was exactly what he was every night that she cried herself to sleep against him. He eased the pain, even if it was just slightly. Zayn didn't have to try, all he had to do was hold her and she felt better. Lauren realized she could've voiced this to him so that he wouldn't have to worry and when she realized that she also knew that it must've been very hard not getting much from Lauren. She was practically a machine; wake up, eat, cry and sleep.

Lauren heard her phone ringing as she made herself a sandwich and looked at the caller ID and saw it was Zayn. She contemplated answering as she did every time he tried to call but ended up letting it go to voicemail like she usually did. No matter how many times she thinks she's brought herself to the point where she can talk to Zayn and figure things out with him, and no matter how much she really missed him, she always remembered the hurt she felt that night and the hours of crying he'd added to her already tear stained life. Lauren knew though that eventually she would have to come around and talk to him so that they could get over this and not make mountains out of molehills.

Lauren walked towards her bedroom with a plate that held the sandwich; she looked at the tattoo of the letter Z she had on her wrist and wondered if she should pick up his call the next time he tried as she kicked off her shoes when she walked into the room. Lauren walked over to her bed and her eyes flashed to her nightstand as they usually did to look at the small pink frame that adorned it.

Lauren had to do a double take when she didn't see anything on the night stand. She instantly felt her heart stop, that frame was the one thing she had left of Diana. Lauren looked at Zayn's night stand to see if she had moved it though she didn't recall doing so. It wasn't there either so she checked the floor to see if it had fallen. She remembered she had taken the frame into the art room with her the other day and though she thought she'd brought it back into the room with her she walked next door and checked the art room, not seeing it in there either.

Lauren knew there was only one other person who would care for that frame and that was Zayn. He hadn't been in the apartment for weeks though, at least that's what she thought. There were times she wasn't home, who knows if he'd been coming. Lauren thought about the fact he may have taken the frame and she felt anger building. She walked back into the bedroom and picked up her phone, opening the message thread she had with Zayn.