Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 20

Katniss' POV

What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses.  That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give that to me. I sniff one more time and wipe away my tears. I need Peeta. I'm going to have him. I'm going to make him happy. I need him, I need him, I need him. Why haven't I seen this before? It's clear now. I want Peeta back. It's been over 2 weeks. I'm ending this misery that I've been calling my life. With a newfound determination, I march across the street into Peeta's house. I don't see him anywhere. I call out his name. No answer. He doesn't want to see me, but I know he's here. I call his name again. I walk all around the first floor in his house. I search in every section, every corner. I do the same on the second floor. I turn down every hallway and search each room. I still don't find him.

"Peeta!" I scream.

"Peeta!!!"

Nothing. And I start to cry again. Through my tears I whimper, "Peeta, please. Please come out."

He doesn't. I'm not quitting though. I search outside and even in my own house. Why would he be there? Finally, I walk into Haymitch's house.

"Haymitch?" I call.

He doesn't answer, so I walk out to his back porch where I find him sitting in a chair, surrounded by geese eating bread from his hands.

He looks over his shoulder.

"Hey sweetheart!"

I sit down next to him.

"What's with the geese?"

"They're my pets."

"Oh."

He's slightly drunk, as always, but his words are audible.

"I named that one Katniss and that one Peeta," he says pointing at two geese on opposite ends of the porch. And he continues, "Because they always sleep sitting next to each other, but they won't talk during the day."

I roll my eyes.

"Geese don't talk."

"If they did, Katniss and Peeta wouldn't."

"Stop it Haymitch."

"Okay okay, what's on your mind?"

His tone changes from a sarcastic tone to something I can only describe as fatherly.

"Have you seen Peeta? I can't find him. And I really need to."

And I explain to Haymitch what happened. He doesn't interrupt me. He gives me his complete attention the whole time.

"So can you help me find him?"

"I know where he is, but I can't help you."

I furrow my eyebrows and ask, "Why not?"

"He'll find you. But you need to let him be. Maybe a couple days, okay? He loves you. But he's hurt."

"I don't know, what if he doesn't come find me?"

"He will.  He's just as strong emotionally as he is physically. He just needs time."