Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 39

 Peeta's POV

She won't even look me in the eyes. But I'm not mad. I know she didn't mean to hurt me. And really, after the intensive therapy, I'm no worse off. I'm okay. But she's not. I just feel dumb for believing that she was.

"I'm not mad at you Katniss."

"You should be."

"I'm not."

"Why don't you hate me?"

"I tried it once. I didn't like it."

Finally a smile forms on her face. She's so gorgeous when she smiles. Just as I'm thinking how lucky I am to finally have her, she says,

"I don't deserve you. I never did."

"Katniss don't..."

"It's true. I couldn't ask for anything more than you. I love you and I'm so sorry for what I did and I'm gonna try everything that I can to get better this time."

She loves me. Every time she says it I can hear her words echo in my head. I'll always remember the day that she first said it. After 13 years of loving her, she finally loves me back.

"I love you too. And I'm gonna try everything that I can to help you get better."

She nods and smiles slightly again. I feel her tug on my arm and I lie down on the small hospital bed next to her. It's barely big enough for the two of us.

"Stay with me?" She asks.

"Always."

❖

I know I said always, but she fell asleep and kept kicking me. So I moved to the chair right next to her bed. Not long after, Dr. Aurelius came back in and she woke up.

"Katniss, you're discharged from the hospital. You can leave and go home, but remember the agreement. You have to take your meds. And you have to call me once a week and stay on the phone for 30 minutes. And no traveling out of 12."

"I remember," she says in the voice that she uses when she wants to appear strong, but is really hiding pain and weakness. I don't know what her obsession is with convincing everyone she's tough. I mean, she is. Most of the time.

"Peeta?" I hear Dr. Aurelius say.

"Yes?"

"Take care of her. And keep doing what you're doing."

That gives me some satisfaction. Satisfaction that I don't need to worry about myself as much as I should worry about her. I'm not happy that I have to worry about her at all, but someone has to do it, and I want it to be me. I guess my reaction to her little fit, while not ideal, was not lasting. It didn't take much time after the flashback to get me thinking normally again.

"Peeta."

Her sweet, melodic voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah Katniss?"

"Take me home."

"With pleasure," I say as we pick up our bags and leave the hospital. I take her hand in mine, vowing to myself to help her get better and to love her until the end of time. I look down at my ticket and notice the date. April 22nd. Katniss' birthday is May 6th. That's 2 weeks, and I'm going to make it special.