Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 23

Peeta's POV

Three days up here. I wonder how long I can last. How long can I last without food? How long can I last without breaking? How long can I last without Katniss? The answer to all of them is so clear. Not very much longer. I'm supposed to be working today. Then I remember something else. Delly's coming over this morning. As if on cue, she rings the doorbell. I don't move as I listen to her come in.

"Peeta!"

My name rings through the house. My stomach growls. And I knew it wouldn't be much longer. But I don't dare to move.

"Peeta?"

She's closer now. Really close. And as I think that she's given up trying to find me, I accidentally drop my paintbrush. It clatters to the ground and the noise resinates loudly. I hold my breath and wait for her to find me. She does. She climbs up to the attic and her voice catches as she says, 

"Peeta, your paintings, they're breath taking." 

And as I'm about to thank her, she reacts the same way that Katniss did. 

"And they're terrible. I hate them, but they're beautiful. Where--"

She answers her own question. Where did I get the ideas to paint these things? Where did I see them? In my head, of course. Some in real life. Some I don't know if they're real or not real. Delly doesn't tell me I need to go to work. She doesn't ask questions. I try to figure out what emotions she's trying to hide. She's doing a poor job. It's pity. I don't want her pity. I don't need it.

"Delly..." I start, but she cuts me off.

"Peeta! You told me you were better! You told me you were okay!"

"I am." 

I lie. I'm broken.

"Peeta, we're best friends. Don't you dare lie to me. How long have you been up here?"

"Three days."

"Why?"

I don't look her in the eyes. I can feel her pity. My heart breaks again as I say, "I saw Katniss kissing Gale. He came back for her and they kissed."

Delly is the sweetest girl I know, but when she's mad, she's mad. She turns on her heel and stomps down 2 flights of stairs, out the door. And she's not mad at me, she's mad at Katniss.