Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 42

 Katniss' POV

"We're drenched!"

I say, my body pressed up against Peeta's chest, giggling as I talk.

"I know! We should shower."

I nod and follow him into our house. I like that. Our house. When he asked me to move in with him, I wasn't even phased. I wanted to. I can't sleep at night without him. During the day I don't want to be without him either. It was kind of a relief, actually. When I'm with Peeta I feel safe and I feel loved and that's what I need right now. I can feel myself getting better with every passing day. I don't feel as emotional distraught. I'm ready to move in with Peeta. We go into the bathroom that we now share and Peeta says,

"Here, you can use this one, I'll use the one across the hall."

"Okay thanks!"

Peeta walks out and I pull my wet v-neck teeshirt over my head, letting it fall to the ground. I unhook my bra from behind my back when Peeta walks into the bathroom.

"I just need to grab... Katniss I'm sorry!"

This is the first time he's seen me, well, topless. He said he's sorry, but he still stares. I'm kind of frozen and self-conscious and I don't know what to do. But I hear him say softly,

"You're the most beautiful girl the the world."

So I allow it when he takes me in his arms and starts kissing me from my collarbone and up to my lips. And for the few minutes that we kiss, he makes me feel beautiful. But when he breaks away, I feel self-conscious again. I grab my towel and cover myself, sitting down on the toilet.

"What's wrong?  Did I over step?"

Peeta asks, kneeling in front of me. He's in a constant state of concern for my wellbeing.

"It's just, there's so many imperfections..."

"No. You're perfect."

"The skin graphs..." I say, referencing the patchwork of engineered skin all over my torso.

"Katniss I have them too. You see them.  You've seen them. You see them all the time."

"It's not as bad."

"I think every little thing about you is beautiful. Even the skin graphs. Even the scars. They tell a story. They tell your story. And that's by far my favorite one."

He always knows just what to say to make me feel better. My dandelion in the spring. And without him, I'm sure I'd have let myself die by now.

"What are you thinking about?"

He asks casually, sitting back on the bathroom floor across from me.

"How you save me time after time after time. How without you I wouldn't be alive, or worse, I'd be like Haymitch. You save me everyday Peeta. And as hard as I try I just can't stop myself from falling more in love with you every time."

"Saving you saves me," he says. And I know that it does. Without each other, we're too broken to be even considered a full person. But together we make a whole.

"Are we too broken to get better?" I ask him, looking for reassurance that I know only Peeta can provide. He nods his head.

"We're broken, but together we're not."

"Good."

"I love you," he says, grabbing his towel and leaving me to shower.

~

I wake up to birds chirping, sun in my face, and Peeta gently shaking my shoulder.

"Katniss get up," he whispers softly.