Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 56

 Katniss' POV

I scream through another contraction and squeeze Peeta's hand so hard that it must be causing him pain. I don't think he notices. He's focused on one thing, the fact that our baby girl and I could die tonight. I can't let that happen. I don't care if she's coming out four weeks early, we both need to live. I need to live and I need to give birth to my baby for Peeta. He's my reason for living. It's one reason, but it's good enough.  All of a sudden I'm hit with a wave of exhaustion. It's like the rest of the pain that has been overcoming my body is being washed away with fatigue. I feel my eyelids flutter and I know I might be able to get some rest before I give birth. But I need Peeta to fight off the nightmares. He's still holding my hand, looking off into space. I put my hand on his cheek and tilt his head so that his eyes meet mine.

"Get in bed?" I ask.

He nods and climbs back into the small hospital bed next to me without a word. I know him too well. I know that look, the silence. If he speaks, he'll cry. When his head hits the pillow I touch my forehead to his, my protruding stomach touching his toned one. I sniff back tears and just before I drift off into sleep, I say,

"Stay with me?"

"Always," he manages to choke back. Then, I drift into the dreamless sleep that will hopefully be my last one that goes undisturbed by the sounds of a child's screams.

❖

I jolt up and cry out, not from nightmares, but from a pain pulsing through my back and my stomach.

"What's wrong!?"

Peeta asks as he sits up next to me and runs a hand through his hair, tangled from sleep. I try to form words, but I'm hit with the pain again and I just end up releasing a choked grunt from my throat. Peeta bolts out of the room and returns with the doctor. After examining me for only a couple of seconds he asks,

"Mrs. Mellark, are you ready to try to have this baby?"

I nod.

"Then lets get started."

My heart is beating so fast I can hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat. Peeta holds my hand and runs his hand through my hair as I obey the doctor and push. I scream and my hair becomes damp with sweat as I try to push out my baby, but Peeta stays next to me, gently patting my head. The pain is unbearable, worse than I've ever experienced, and there's no medication to help me. I just clench my fists and grit my teeth. The doctor continues to tell me to push, but after what seems like days, I'm breathing heavily and I need to stop trying.

"I can't," I say, gasping to get air I to my lungs.

"The problem is with your hips. You're young, so they're underdeveloped, too small. The baby is ready to come out, but your body isn't. Do you feel pain up your spine, maybe to your neck?"

I nod.

"It's from your hips. They're being pushed too far outward so it's putting pressure on your spine all the way up to your neck. There's the danger, you could end up with a broken neck, which could be fatal."

"What do I do?" I ask breathlessly.

I look over at Peeta, who is surprisingly expressionless as he stands right next to me with his arms crossed.

"Keep pushing. The baby is headfirst right now, which is the only way she'll come out. If she happens to turn, you'll both suffer the consequences."

I push again, knowing full well that the consequences are death.

"Good! She's crowning!" The doctor says.

"I love you, okay?" Peeta says into my ear.

"I love you," I tell him.