Begin Again [Wattys 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 48

Peeta's POV

She only cries into me for a few minutes, but every second of it breaks my heart. When I feel her pick her head up off of my shoulder, I turn to her and say, "You don't have to call Gale."

She shakes her head and tells me no, she wants to. She's so strong. What if he rejects the invitation too? She'll be miserable. The phone rings in its place on the couch between us. Then we hear his voice answer,

"Gale Hawthorne, who's calling?"

He sounds authoritative and his voice has a hard edge. I can't remember if he's always sounded that way, but I think that he has. It's the same with Katniss. They both try to sound tough. I guess that's why they were friends. I feel a memory tugging at the back of my head. One where his voice didn't sound rough like that. I know it's not real. I've seen this memory before.

Not real,

I tell myself in my head. I know I'll have the flashback anyway. This one will be different though. It doesn't make me angry at Katniss. It's not violent. Then, all of a sudden, it seems so real. I'm thrown back in time to when we were sixteen, right after the first games we were in. Katniss is standing outside of the hob and she's waving me over to her. All I can think of is how beautiful she looks as I walk over to her. That is, until I see Gale come up to her. They start kissing passionately right in front of me. Even though I've had this flashback before, I see something different. I see that Katniss is wearing a wedding ring on her finger. It's the one I gave her.

Katniss and I are getting married. That's real. This is not.

I tell myself this inside my head until I'm seeing the real Katniss sitting in front of me and not the perfect looking sixteen year old version of her who's kissing Gale. I blink back tears a couple of times and realize that she's still talking to Gale on the phone, but my hand is in hers and she's looking at me with furrowed eyebrows that seem to ask, "Are you okay." I'm fine, despite a mild headache, but I simply turn my attention back to the phone conversation just in time to hear her say, "Well, I'd really love if you would come and visit. I'm not sure if you will, but I want you to be here for something. Peeta asked me to marry him..."

Silence. Then she starts again.

"I said yes. The wedding is in one week. You're invited."

His voice sounds identical to the one she used when she hung up on her mother. It sounds strong, but it's obvious that there are other emotions hidden under it.

"Um, congrats. I'll come. Thanks for the invite."

Before she can respond, the other side of the phone goes dead. He hung up.

"What happened to you?" She asks immediately.

I push myself off the couch and start to say, "Nothing," but I can't get the words out before my legs give out and I fall back to the couch again, head spinning.

"You had a flashback? What was it about?" She says in a voice that conveys more concern than it does fear.

"Yeah but it's fine. It wasn't violent. I've had it before. It's a weird one. I see you and Gale kissing."

"It's not fine. Here let me go get the pills."

I let her go. When she comes back, I ask right away, "You've kissed him, real or not real?"

"Real, but not in front of you," she tells me.

"Right. I know. I remember."

I take the pills and my head feels better right away. I'm glad it does, because she pushes my back up against the armrest on the couch as she puts on knee on either side of my waist. I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You know," she's says, "I like kissing you way better."

She's never flirty, and I can't hold myself back anymore. I wrap my arms around her back and I feel her hands moving on my shoulders as I put all the energy I have into kissing her when her lips crash into mine.