"What's in there, Daddy?"

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Jamie

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I slowly eased her body off of mine, placing her onto one of her soft pillows. She stirred in her sleep, shifting on the bed as I lifted myself off. I looked at her vanity, scanning the clutter of inked papers and journals that covered the surface. My hand felt the crisp paper, turning on the light so I could see the handwriting. This was the letter I wrote her. I could tell that she dated these letters, her handwriting neat from mine. My hand placed the letter down as I looked at the two black journals, moving the pages aside so I could see them better. I opened her journal to the page that was marked with a pencil, a crumbled piece of paper falling out. It drifted down to the cluttered surface of her table, my fingers picking it up. Questions lined the page, inking every clear space that the thin piece of paper had. My eyes looked at the journal, scanning how perfectly she had written every question and provided blank spaces for my answers. This interview meant everything to her.

I held the pencil in my hand, my thumb tracing the imprint of my company as I finished answering her questions on the paper. My breath was heavy as I sat back in the chair, turning my head to see her sleeping body. She shifted in her sleep, turning around so I could see her face through the dimmed light. I moved closer to her, my fingertips brushing her hair aside. She stirred as I touched her skin, moving her face away from mine. I looked away from her, wondering what was going on in her mind. She looked so innocent as she slept, like an angel that had fallen out of the sky. I was never so fascinated in her until now. It was like the world that I made up was tearing down because of her.

I looked through her notes, finding a blank piece of paper that was under her journal. My fingers held the pencil as I wrote her another note, finishing it with my usual saying. I lifted myself off of the chair, leaving the note next to the bed before leaving. My eyes closed as I shut the door behind me, slowly walking into the red room. I found her bra on the leather floor, my fingers picking it up. The feeling of lace made me think of her in these garments, how the tight material hugged her waistline. My hand reached in the pocket of my trousers, pulling out the panties that were previously on her. I could still smell her scent through the fabric, holding the garments as I walked towards the door. My finger switched the light off, the red room going dark. Like myself.

It didn't take long until I woke up from my sleep, my hand connecting with the phone that was on my side table. I heard the loud music coming from outside as I sat up on my bed, shaking my thoughts away. The clock read 7:32, the sun still rising up. I rose up from the bed, preparing for a quick shower before going outside. My hand touched the shower wall as I went in, feeling the hot water against cold skin. I let the liquid pour over me; past my shoulders and down my back. My chest rose as I looked up to the shower head, turning my head to let the water run down my chest. I could hear the clatter of pans from the kitchen, knowing that she had fumbled in the kitchen. My hand turned off the water, draping the towel over me. I let the towel hang low on my waist, showing my v-line as I walked out into the main room.

Her back was faced towards me as she swayed her hips to the song, pleasing me as I walked closer to her. She turned around, gasping as she was startled at my quiet appearance. The corners of my mouth raised as she set the pan down, turning off the heat before placing the cooked food onto two plates. She placed a plate in front of me, turning around so I could see her *ss. "Can you put on clothes first, Daddy?" I traced my lip with my finger, looking at her as she sat down. My head nodded, moving away from her and back into my room. I could see her cheeks blushed as I turned around, biting my lip to control herself.

My eyes found hers as I sat down on the stool, watching as her blue eyes sparkled in the light. She stopped chewing on her bite of toast, watching as I ran my hand through my wet hair. I looked down on my plate, scanning how she organized the breakfast into sections. "An English breakfast, baby girl?" She looked at me as she bit into her toast, the blue in her eyes showing through. I could see the clear difference between the both of us, something that I didn't notice when she was younger. The realization dawned to me suddenly, telling me the clear line between the two of us. I could see her innocence from a mile away, striking me at I took a sip of my coffee. My mind wandered to the first moments that I had with her, shocked at how much she grew up.

I watched as she rose up from the bed, her hands rubbing her eyes. My body sat down on her bed, weighing one end down as she sat up. She hooked her arms around my neck, letting me pull her body into my lap. I could see the brightness in her eyes, the grey that I knew of fading away. She sniffled into my chest, the cold that she had fading away. I touched her forehead, finding it warm to my touch. "Are you still feeling ill, baby girl?" She nodded, sneezing into my chest. I ran my hand through her hair, my hand reaching for tissue. She held it in her hand, wiping her nose as color rose to her cheeks. "Why don't you go and get ready, then Daddy could bring you to the mall?" Her bright eyes looked up, shining as she peaked up from my chest.

I watched as her tiny figure travel out the room, opening the door to reveal the outside world. My eyes looked around her room, fixing her teddy so it would sit on top of her pillow. I saw the little black journal that she had in her backpack, peaking out a little. My hand connected with the cover, flipping through the entries that she had written. Her handwriting was smeared from water damage, the dried pages feeling rough to the touch. I rose up from the bed, setting the journal back where it was before walking out of her room. She had closed the bathroom door, the light showing through the bottom crack of the door. I reached into my pocket, taking a key out for the door next to her room.

My eyes looked around before unlocking the door, revealing the red that I've been hiding. I inhale sharply as I could remember every time that I used this room, all the women that were begging to come into the red. It felt disgusting. My fingers trailed across the rack of floggers, smelling the leather that each of them were made out of. I closed my eyes, using only one sense to detail out each part of this room. Dammit, Dornan. My eyes opened, revealing my world to me. I walked towards the door, turning off the light before exiting.

She stood in front of me, looking up as I quickly closed the door. I swore under my breath as her eyes looked behind me, seeing the red that outlined the wall of the room. "What's in there, Daddy?" I ushered her back into her room, saying that it was nothing. She brushed it off as her eyes landed on her dolls that were on the ground, picking them up. I went through her wardrobe, picking out things for her to wear. She sat on her bed, her head tilting up as I stood in front of her. I replaced her nightdress with her everyday clothing, tying her shoelaces before she ran out of the room. My hand grabbed the coat that was hanging on the chair, following her downstairs. I breathed out, knowing that she saw a piece of the red that I've been hiding.

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