Starstruck II: Saruman's Curse

Road Trippin' (Road Trip AU)

Creevy's car was ridiculous. Dean couldn't believe it was even legal to drive. Actually, there was no way it was legal but the police never seemed to bother him. It was once a 1976 AMC Pacer that had been through so many accidents and undergone so many repairs, restorations, modifications and patch-togethers that it was completely unrecognizable. The hood had been replaced with the hood of a Cadillac so huge it overhung the front and sides and flapped up and down when he drove. The front driver's side quarter panel was gone and replaced with a big piece of pink plastic from a child's play house. The wheels were mismatched, larger on the left than the right so the whole car was tilted at an angle. The roof was ripped off and replaced with an old laminate kitchen tabletop his grandmother had thrown away. To this he had mounted a rack made of two-by-fours for holding his surfboard. The rear bumper dragged on the street kicking up sparks. Creevy had removed all the seats and put in a Lay-Z-Boy recliner instead, unbolted and sliding around whenever he turned a corner. If anyone else wanted to ride with him they'd have to curl up in the stowage area in back and hope not to get crushed by the sliding chair. The engine had been replaced twelve times, with no regard for the type or condition of the replacement. If it didn't fit, he'd make it fit. It smoked and caught fire and you always knew when Creevy was coming because his car sounded like a cement mixer full of cats.

For some reason, people kept trying to steal it. They'd get two or three block away but the car was so hard to handle they would inevitably crash into a tree or a house or land in a ditch. He would chase them on foot, at a brisk walk, and catch up easily. Waving his baseball bat in the air, he'd chase them away and then drive back home.

Dean had tried to drive the car once, 2.5 miles to the Krazy-Mart and had ended up so exhausted he decided to just walk home, carrying two cases of beer. His arms were sore for a week. From the car, not the beer.

So when Creevy suggested they all take a road trip in his car to the Lazy Deuce Club in North Bel-Aire twenty-eight miles away, Dean's first thought was to hang up the phone and go hide in his closet and pretend not to be home. But that would be an immature reaction. So instead, he foolishly said, "Sure!"

Six of them were crammed into the back and into the narrow space next to the Lay-Z-Boy. Dean, Sam, Kevin, Gandalf, Jimmy Kirk and Steve. They made Gandalf leave his staff because there was just no room for it.

Dumbledore stayed back to keep an eye on the hotel. He was in a pissy mood about something anyway so they didn't really want him along. And Harry was underage so no way he was coming.

"You're sitting on my beard!" complained Gandalf.

"What do you want me to do?" said Sam. "I can't move."

"Well, get up or just...I don't know...lift your butt cheek for a second."

"I can't. Jimmy move over. Not that way, the other way!"

"Ow! Your elbow!"

"Everybody ready? Let's go!" shouted Creevy. He cranked the ignition and the car rumbled to life. When he revved the engine, it screamed like a lion stepping into a bear trap while mating. Flames burst from around the edges of the hood. Creevy swore and grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the dash. He got out and sprayed it under the hood until the flames went out. Smoke poured into the car through the air vents and everyone began coughing and choking.

"Okay, that's it!" said Dean. "This is insane. Let us out. I'm driving."

Creevy leaped back in and pulled the lever on the side of his chair to open the footrest. The chair slid back and reclined, crushing Jimmy Kirk even more.