Starstruck II: Saruman's Curse

Thia (An AU)

"I'm gonna krust you in the beautiful face!" Shia LaBeouf yelled vigorously at his blonde companion, Thor.

Thor's blood pumping muscle shattered into a million billion white blood cells and red blood cells but not really cause he could die and that would be horrendous considering the wonderful story just began. "How could you!" Thor screeched, salty water dripping out of his milky brown orbs. "You know how I feel about krust!"

"Well you know how I feel about the krusty thing were fighting over that hasn't been mentioned in this story yet cause the author doesn't even know!" Shia retaliated sassily.

"This is intense," Ken whispered fearfully from where he was hiding nervously from under the damaged table. His masculine roommates had been arguing furiously over seemingly nothing for five gloomy days. Five. Gloomy. Days. It was getting on Ken's over-excitable nerves.

"I've had enough of this crappy shit!" Shia hollered angrily. "I'm leaving savagely! And I'm taking bitterly this leafy plant with me!"

"No!" Thor squealed anxiously. "We paid happily for that leafy plant together!"

"Well, here!" Shia squawked indignantly. He pulled out roughly his flaky brown wallet and threw stubbornly a crisp twenty dollar bill at Thor resentfully. "That should pay greatly for your stupid half of this leafy plant!"

"I don't want you to pay for it, I want you to stay!"

"I can't, I've had enough. Thor, we're through."

Shia turned heatedly his toned back and stormed furiously out the brown door while Thor fell heartbrokenly to his muscular knees.

Ken, wearing rainbow friendship bracelets on his puny wrists, a rainbow necktie, a pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt, and white cutoffs, crawled fabulously out from under the somewhat broken table. Thor tried putting his impossible heavy hammer on there once and the sad table just wasn't worthy.

"Hey, macho man, it's ok," Ken spoke comfortingly. "This is just like that time when my girlfriend, Barbie, yes my lady friend whom I occasionally have hot sex with, and I broke up for a while. She claimed I was gay can you believe it? Anyways, I'm totally straight. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. I'm sure he'll be back. I mean he did leave most of his stuff here, so he'll have to come back sooner or later."

"That's not the point!" Thor wailed roaringly. A bolt of hot lightning shot through the sky just outside their dirty window. A sad storm was beginning!

"Wait, wait, wait," interrupted Paris. "What the krust is this?"

"What do you mean 'what the krust is this?' I wrote it for the fic!" Kara said.

"You mean you were planning on posting this on the blog as an au?" asked Paris.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well..." Paris didn't know what to say. She stared at Kara, confused. "But...There's no Destiel or Stirk or any of the characters... What... I don't understand. What is this?"

"It's... it's... you know... It's an au!"

"Um..." Paris was at a loss for words. She wondered if maybe Kara was just pulling a prank on her, but she seemed sincere. "Our readers won't understand what's going on though. I don't understand what's going on."

"Did you even read it? It's self-explanatory. Basically, Shia LaBeouf and Thor are dating- I like to call it Thia LaBeouf- and they break up dramatically and Ken swoops in fabulously to save the day. I just don't see what you don't get."

"It literally has nothing to do with our story!" Paris argued. "We can't just throw in random stuff with none of our characters in it!"

"Ok maybe not but like, don't you think our readers are bored of reading the same thing, week after week? I just thought, I don't know, maybe we could mix it up a bit. Besides, who doesn't love Shia LaBeouf?" Kara asked.

"...Well, that's true. Everyone loves Shia LaBeouf..." Paris said thoughtfully. "But still! We gotta stay consistent! You can't post this. Post it on your own blog."

"No one is going to read it there. ;;';te;lr;rlknnkrm;re;mrtt;kmm;kte;mtr;lmt"

Paris sighed and glared at Kara. Kara was looking at her from across the table with a hopeful expression. Paris looked back at the laptop. She thought of all the other nonsense that went on in the Au's and figured, what the hell? How is this any stranger than the other ones?

"Fine, you can post it, I guess..." said Paris, sighing in defeat.

"Oh boy! Can it be one of the final AUs? Like in the climax order?"

Pairs threw her head back and said, "Oh my god!" She couldn't help but laugh, although it was getting a little too far. "I think that's a little too far."

But Kara's face was too pitiful to say no to so Paris threw back her head again in an exasperated groan and said, "Fine! I guess, whatever!"

"Oh yay! Oh man, people aren't gonna know what to do with themselves once the sad storm starts. And it is quite long, so I'd say it'll have to post in at least six different parts."

Paris threw her head back again and closed her eyes. "Oh my god..." She ran a hand down her face then shook her head. "I don't know about this... Man... I really don't think this is a good idea..."

"Wait seriously? Why the krust not?"

"Why do you think?"

"You've gotta let me post this!"

"Do you understand why you shouldn't do this? Do you really not grasp this?" Paris said. "Do you really believe people are gonna want to read all this when they are already invested in the other characters and their story?"

"I don't even know what to believe in anymore," Kara said sadly. "All I want is for the people of the world to know how great of a ship Thia is. That's all."

Kara's eyes started to well up and Paris knew at that moment that Kara was in fact not joking. Paris didn't want to see Kara cry. Paris didn't want to see anyone cry, for it would just break her little ol' heart right in two. But Paris also didn't want to see the downfall of the blog, the angry fans, the hate mail, the mass confusion that will break everyone's heart. She needed to put her foot down. She needed to be the authority in this one.

"Kara, I can't let you post this fic. Absolutely not." She said, putting her foot down as she said it. "I won't allow it."

"Fine! Whatever. But just know it's your fault the world will never see the beautiful mess of a relationship that Thia is!"

Kara left Paris's house soon after, a plan forming in her mind. Paris didn't really check the queue for the blog, so it's not like she would ever know if the fic got put in...

Oh yes. The world would soon all fall before the ship that was Thia LaBeouf.

By: Father Parpar and Luci