//Rafe Cameron\\
"You don't make deals with the devil, not unless you want to dance with him and maybe I did"
Lily Grant has spent her whole life slumming it with the pogues, being that she is one.
They're her day ones, her best friends. Life coul...
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"Rafe?" Sarah's relieved yet surprised tone echos down the hallway like a baby animal crying for its mother. Distressed and confused.
His eyes stay fixated on me for a moment. His expression blank, briefly twisted with disgust before he pulls his gaze and turns his attention to his sister.
Acid bubbles in my stomach like it's being heated over hot fire, boiling up my throat and leaving a bitter taste on my tongue as I try to swallow it down. He doesn't speak a word to me, his look alone was enough to have me wishing I was dead, even more so than I was a few minutes ago before he was here.
Sarah's body shivers as she fights the urge to hug him. She's angry with him, he went ghost and wouldn't return her calls.. hers or Kies, even Wheezie couldn't get ahold of him. I watch her pull her lip between her teeth to combat her tears but it's no use. Her mouth only quivers before tears uncontrollably pool from her eyes and she collapses into her brothers embrace, burying her face in the fabric of his sweatshirt, his arms wrapping her up tightly. The sight has my stomach coiling into knots as a tinge of jealousy sweeps through me bitterly. Not because of Sarah but because his affection is something I've long lost, run away and thrown out. He'd never offer it back.. I've lost him and it's all my fault.
Kie's face scrunches with emotion. Her brows drawn together before her own eyes fill with tears and JJ moves to comfort her. John b and Pope awkwardly stand behind the counter in the kitchen, exchanging relieved yet confused expressions as Pope scrubs his hands down his face. We've all been battered with hopelessness in figuring out this whole mess. It's taken a toll on all of us but them more so than me being that my own hell has been tormenting a little more than the entirety of the situation with Ward and the gold..and for that I feel like the most selfish monster.
My friends have been exhausting efforts in saving what's there's and I've been too wrapped up in my own problems to share that pain with them..what kind of a friend is that?
A terrible one..
The thought sinks like a stone in water through the pit of my stomach..cold and heavy. A sort of loneliness creeps through me like smoke invading a building. Feeling excluded from my friends for not having been involved in all of this the way they all have been but it's my own fault.
Rafe, Kade, the job Sarah got me so I could help my mom keep up with the bills..the drugs. I've been drowning in it all while they've been drowning in this.. I don't belong here. I'm only making it worse.. I make everything worse. I'm the reason Rafe left..Sarah's been a mess without him here to help and that I'm responsible for. I feel so out of place being here at all. They're in this together and I'm just here. They've all been so worried about me, checking in on me while dealing with it all..how exhausting that must be.
