Just A Few Numbers Away

Chapter 145

Breath and Balance

The moonlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows of their master suite, casting long, silver shadows across the floor.

Seoul looked calm from this height, a sprawling grid of lights that felt a world away from the emotional turbulence of the day.

​Aen stood by the glass, her forehead resting against the cool pane.

Her thoughts were a jumble-the lingering frustration of the argument, the exhaustion of the pregnancy, and the heavy, silent weight of Yoongi's fear.

​She didn't hear him approach, but she felt him.

​The weight of a silk robe settled over her shoulders, warm and heavy.

A moment later, his arms slid around her waist, drawing her back against the solid, grounding heat of his chest.

He didn't say a word; he simply buried his face into the curve of her neck, his breath hitching against her skin.

​"I'm sorry," he whispered.

The words were raw, stripped of the bravado and intensity he had carried earlier.

"I know how it sounded. I know it was wrong."

​Aen closed her eyes, her hands coming up to rest over his forearms, anchoring them both.

"Mmmmm..."

Silence settled between them for a few seconds before Aen spoke.

​"I... understand your fears but locking me away... isn't going to solve any of it. You just made me feel like I was going to disappear any second."

​"I never want to make you feel that way," he replied, his voice thick.

He turned his head slightly, pressing a lingering, desperate kiss to her pulse point.

"When I saw you fall at the market in Seychelles... when you turned pale and just... collapsed... it didn't leave me. Every time I imagine you leave without me, I see that moment. My brain just screams at me to keep you somewhere I can see, somewhere I know you're breathing."

​He pulled her closer, his grip almost fierce.

​"I realized too late that I sounded like I wanted to control you and because of that I had made you feel suffocated. I'm just... so terrified, Aen-ah. I feel like I'm holding something precious, and if I loosen my grip for even a second, I'm going to lose it. That I'm going to lose you."

​Aen turned in his arms, careful and deliberate, until they were face-to-face.

The dim light highlighted the genuine anguish in his eyes-the vulnerability he kept hidden from everyone but her.

​"You're not going to lose me, Yoon. I know you're afraid but well... me, too," she said softly, reaching up to cup his face, her thumb stroking his cheek.

"Still you have to trust that I am a part of this team, too. I'm not just the prize you're protecting; I'm the partner fighting alongside you. When you try to lock me away, you aren't protecting me from the world-you're telling me that you don't trust me to handle my own life."

​Yoongi looked down, his jaw tight.

"I'm sorry. I... I trust you. I just... I don't trust the world not to hurt you."

​"Then we'll face it together like we always do," she promised.

"But you have to let me breathe, Yoongi. If I'm in this house because I'm forced to be, I'll be miserable. If I'm here because I want to be, I'll be happy. And you said it yourself-the baby needs me to be happy."