Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Ninety Five.

"Alex." Evan says; a big smile plastered across his face. I stay silent though, and stare at him with a blank expression, though I know that all I feel is anger flowing inside me. How dare he even call my name after all these lies? How dare he look at me in the eyes without feeling a hint of guilt? I don't understand with which courage did he come; he should've understood it himself that I had found out. Moreover, I am sure Grace must've talked to him. Aren't I right?

"What are you doing here?" I ask coldly, crossing my arms. Evan's smile fades instantly, and is replaced by a small frown; he seems worried, but I don't know why.

"You didn't answer any of my calls or messages" he stated, "Why?" he asked. "I was so worried; I thought something happened to you, until I realized everyone else talked to you daily except for me. Why, Alex? Did I do something?"

I stare at him in amusement and let out a small, sarcastic laugh. "You should've known yourself, Evan."

"I swear, I have no idea what's wrong. I have been loyal to you, I have been honest and I swear I still am. What happened now?" he huffs, and runs his hand through his hair.

"Loyal? Honest?" I grunt, "Do you even know the meaning of these words you're using? Because I think you don't." I told him. I want to clear this up once and for all, but Evan has to understand himself he has made a mistake, and I am not willing to forgive him this easily. All this time I thought he wanted to be by my side because he cared, because he worried about how I felt, through all the time he knew me. However, it wasn't how I imagined at all; he lied to me, even when I was in the clinic. That's what makes me sad.

"Jesus Alex, what are you talking about?" he said, slightly raising his voice; he was losing his patience.

"I am talking about the way all of this started. I am talking about our relationship, which is actually based on a favor you did for a close friend of yours." I admitted, so he would hopefully understand. Evan looked at me biting his lip, and decided to keep silent. Nothing would be enough to justify himself. "No talking, huh?" I say in a sarcastic tone. He makes me sick.

"Who told you?" he simply asked.

"Grace." I answered. "Who else?"

"What exactly did she tell you?"

"She told me this was all a lie. She told me this started when she told you to follow me and the boys on tour in America, and somehow 'win' me, so Michael wouldn't be with me. And this is all because she wanted to be with him... and you accepted, for some weird reason which I am still trying to figure out."

"It started out like this Alex, but I never imagined I would've grown feelings for you... I never thought I would love you. I love you, believe me. This is how it started but as soon as I saw you, I just-"

"Bullshit! Stop it with the lies Evan. You're a good actor you know; that's why I fell in your stupid trap. Damn, I should've known I shouldn't have trusted you." I said, trying to prevent myself from crying. Not now, not in front of him.

"Let me explain!" he yelled.

"What is there to explain?" I yelled back.

"I love you, for God's sake! Why don't you believe me?" he says as his voice cracks at the end.

"Words are just words; actions count, and what you did wasn't right. You hurt me, you lied to my face, you pretended to be in love with me, and you stayed with me because you felt pity and nothing else. I am just a way to earn more money right? Because out of all of this, Grace must pay you very well!" I say angrily.

"Stop it!" he yells, as he grabs me. I try my best to escape his grip but he's stronger than me.

"Get your hands off of me you bastard!" I spat as I am finally released.

"What's wrong with you? What happened to my Alex?" he says as he frowns.

"I should make that question; where is the Evan I thought I knew?" I retorted.

"I am here, I haven't changed. I wasn't pretending at all, believe me!" he huffs.

"Stop it, just stop it okay? I had enough; I had enough of you, and your lies, and your bullshit and everything. I can't be with a liar like you; I can't be with someone who never loved me!" I say in a harsher tone than expected.

"What do you mean? A-are you breaking up with me?" he stutters, as his eyes surround with tears; that's weird. Evan never cries.

"Yes. Yes I am breaking up with you. We are over." I confirmed coldly.

"Fine. Whatever. It's not my fault if you don't believe me." He says, sounding quite hurt, but I know he's just pretending again.

"Go away Evan." I demand.

"As you wish." He nods and turns around to go, without even looking back; he knew I wouldn't call out for him.

--

Melbourne. Tour is almost over and in a couple of days I will be back home. I am glad I got through this tour with someone I know well beside me –Phoebe, of course-, but I am also happy I cope with it so well. I can't wait to go home though; I missed Ashton, Calum, Luke, and of course, Michael... I don't know what will happen when we I get back. I don't even know if we are officially together or not. What will happen with Grace? We have to get rid of her in some way... but how? I don't know anything about her; I don't even know her full name. How can I find a way to get rid of her? Michael promised me he would do something about it, but what? He can't do anything right now if she's controlling him. This fake relationship is for the sake of the band; I don't even want to imagine what happens if the band splits because of me. I don't want this.
You know what they say though; bad people will get what they deserve sooner or later, and the good ones will be rewarded. I don't believe in fairytales, but my hope for a chance that things will get better doesn't ever fade. I know I will be completely happy one day, I know I will get what I need. All these years of trying hard will pay off.

Now, only time will tell.

----

i have no words....

this is disturbing..

-V xx