Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Thirty Four.

Michael was avoiding me all week. I know that what I did was bad, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t have any other choice in the end, did I? Despite all, I missed his touch; I missed breathing in his scent every night when I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around my waist. I missed talking to him, I missed everything we did. Plus, I didn’t know what to do with the baby. Should I just abort? But Michael would be even madder at me. He already hates me this much, so I guess I shouldn’t make any decision yet. In the end, he collaborated in this too… But how can I talk to him? I am afraid he will just turn his back to me again.

Then a waving hand in front of me snapped me out of my thoughts; Phoebe.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” she giggled, but soon her smile faded.

“Yeah yeah… uhm…” I stuttered. I shook my head slightly.

“What’s wrong?” she frowned. Her hand was patting my back lightly in comfort.

“You already know, Phoebs.” I frowned.

“Right.” She said, looking away.

I fumbled with the duvet’s fabric, since there was nothing else interesting to do. Actually, there was, but many thoughts and worries raced in my mind and kept me too busy from doing anything else. I wasn’t able to focus on anything other than my thoughts, which included Michael and the baby.

“Alex, you should talk to him.” She said. A weird but serious expression was drawn on her face.

“What?” I said, not even noticing she was talking to me, once again.

“Oh goodness, you aren’t even paying attention.” She said, raising her hands in surrender.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“Listen, this issue hasn’t been solved yet. You both just sit in your rooms and do nothing. How are you supposed to continue living like this?” she raised her voice.

“I don’t know…” I whispered.

“You know, you can’t leave it like that.” She frowned.

“Yes I know Phoebe, but what should I say?”

“What should you say? Are you kidding me? You’re carrying a baby in your belly and you guys have to decide about its future.” She whisper-yelled. I just stared at her. She was right, she was fucking right. But how am I going to talk to him? After a week, I will just pop up in his bedroom and say “Hey Mike, I really need to talk to you about keeping the baby or not, and I kind of need to know now”. No way was that gonna happen, unless I find a way.

“Why do you stress so much about it? Go talk to him, simply.” She smiled, trying to encourage me. I got up from the bed. She looks at me confused.

“Where are you going?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I wanna talk to him, I have to.”

“Okay. Go then.” She encourages and I rush to his room. I knock on the door twice before he let me come in. He was lying on his bed playing with his phone.

“What brings you here?” he says, coldly. He hasn’t even dared to look at me in the eyes since I got in.

“We need to talk Michael. I can’t go on like this.” I said, frowning. I really didn’t want us to be like this. No matter the reason, no matter what I had done, I couldn’t live like this. Not with him, acting like a stranger while we’re basically still together. I don’t even know if we broke up or not… Ugh, this situation is killing me.

“What is there to talk about?” He spat, turning his phone off and leaving it on his bedside.

“The baby, Michael.” I said, pleading he would look at me for once.

“I think we’ve said enough, haven’t we Alex?” the cold tone of his voice is practically killing me.

“Why are you talking to me like that?” I said, biting my lip to hold back the tears which were threatening to fall.

“Do you really expect me to answer to that question?” he said, laughing. What is there to laugh at?

“No…” I mumbled.

“Well then, what do you want?” he asked again.

“Listen, if you’re going to act like this all night it’s better if we just stop this.” I said, finally finding some courage.

“Fine, tell me.” He said, getting up. I sucked in a deep breath, and repeated Phoebe’s words in my mind to get some more courage.

“Okay, I know you’re fucking mad at me. You have all the rights to be mad, angry and whatever you want. But we need to clear this up, Michael. In this small bump, this is where I carry your child… our child. I really need to know now, what should I do. Should we keep it? Should I keep it and give it to someone else? Should I abort? And first of all, are you willing to forgive me? Are you willing to leave this and forgive me? All these questions Michael, all these questions have been killing me for days. I need you to answer them now because I don’t know what I’ll do.” I let my tears flow, because I could not resist anymore. His eyes softened at the sight of me crying, and hopefully for the small speech I gave.

“Alex, please don’t cry baby…” he said, approaching me. He wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead and then wiped the tears with his thumb.

“Listen, I forgive you. But you have to tell me everything from now on.” He demands.

“Okay, I promise.” I say, looking up at him.

“Now about the baby… I know we’re not ready, but I’m all against abortion.” He frowns.

“Then what are we going to do?”

“I want you to keep it. Do it for me, for us.” He said, looking at me intensely in the eyes.

“You really want me to have your baby?”

“I know I am sometimes immature, but Alex, I don’t think I would ever want to have a baby with anyone else if it’s not you.” He smiled at me.

And after this, I knew he was the one. The one, who would’ve risked it all for me, even his career, the thing he loves most in the world. It was then, when I realized I was special. I was special to him.

“I love you so much Michael.” I said, hugging him tightly.                                                    

“I love you too baby.” He whispered.

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TWO MORE PARTS TO GO! YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME AFTER THIS.

-V xx