Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Ninety.

The day I was waiting for has

come.

Today we're leaving for tour. I admit I feel excited for the fact I was given

the chance to live this dream, even though I lost it once. I am happy and also

quite nervous to be honest; I haven't trained my voice enough these two weeks,

also because Evan finally moved in with us -but had to leave again

unfortunately for some filming and stuff-, and I clearly had no time since I

was redecorating my room, which we now share. The bad news is that he is not

here telling me everything will be okay. He isn't here to comfort me in such an

important moment for me, no matter if I had this nervousness before; the point

is that I haven't been through this all. Fortunately, my friends distract me

from that and I don't feel that empty, although I miss him quite a lot; and I

will miss him, and Calum, Luke, Ashton, and... Michael, of course.

The boys were taking me and Phoebe to the airport. The more close we got there,

the more I wanted to go back home, because I realized this is real; my dream is

becoming real, but also the fact I am leaving them all behind is real. I played

with my hands nervously throughout the whole car ride, when we finally arrived

to our destination. We get out of the car and Luke gets our suitcases. He gives

me a smile before handing me my suitcase and I smile back weakly. I am too lost

in my thoughts to have a conversation right now; I can hardly keep up with what

the boys are talking about with Phoebe. All I hear is muffled voices as I'm not

able to pay attention.

What am I going to do now? How can I survive another long period without seeing

them? I have already lost so much time not hanging out with them, even though

the reason was serious, but I will miss them so much I don't even think I can

handle it. They have become my family, and I will never be able to thank them

enough for being here, in good and bad, in my ups and downs, and practically

almost everything I have been through.

"Alex? Alex, it's time to go." Phoebe said, trying to get my attention by

waving her hands in front of me. I tilt up my head to face her, as my look was

stuck on the ground. A small frown is formed on her lips. "You have to greet

the boys now." She mumbles weakly.

"It's already time to go?" I ask, and she nods. I look over Ashton who was

smiling, motioning me to go hug him. I giggle and walk towards him, hugging him

really tight. "I really don't know how you can smile through everything Ashton;

your positivity scares me." I giggle.

"But it's not a goodbye Alex, is it?" he says.