Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Ninety Eight.

"You look so tired." Phoebe says as we walk out of the mall. "Maybe I should've let you rest today." She frowns slightly.

She woke me up this morning and asked me to go shopping with her. I wasn't really in the mood to go anywhere but I know she wanted to hang out a little and relax, and I know how much she loves shopping so I did her this favor. Although, I know I couldn't relax at all. I am so stressed. All I can think about is what to say to Evan and to his proposal and then again Michael. I am sure he kissed me last night. But why did he go away so quickly? I know what's going on between us is wrong, and if ever Grace finds out he is doomed, along with his band mates and their career. I don't want to ruin their dream, but she can't ruin ours. I am so frustrated that I don't even know what to do anymore to make things become like they were before.

"No Phoebs, I had a great time." I smiled to her reassuringly.

"It doesn't seem like it." She says as she gets her keys out of her bag and unlocks her car. Do I really look that awful today? We get in the car and she stares outside the window. "The boys told me." She said after a few moments of silence.

"Told you what?" I gulped nervously.

"Yesterday Evan was there. Wasn't he?" she says, but she wasn't expecting an answer. She shakes her head slightly and laughs bitterly. "I don't get it." She simply states, as she finally turns to look at me. I furrow my eyebrows, perplexed.

"Don't get what?" I ask.

"All of this. If you want to end it with Evan do it. What's taking you so long?" she says; she seems angry.

"I love him, Phoebe. That's the point." I say. It's the truth. I am not going to be with someone if I don't have any feelings for. How is that possible anyway? How can you have someone beside you for such a long time if you don't love him?

"Right." She laughs sarcastically, once again.

"What's with this attitude?" I ask, starting to get angry.

"Are you even aware of what you're saying?" she asks me, a bit harsher than intended.

"Why shouldn't I?" I tell her calmly. I don't want to fight.

"You love Michael for fuck's sake. Why are you making this harder?" she shouts.

"Stop shouting! Only then I can answer you properly." I demand.

"Fine." She mutters crossing her arms, and waits for me to talk.

"It's not my relationship the problem Phoebs. It's not like I want things to be like this. Of course I love Michael and I love him more than anything and anyone, but the real problem here is Grace. Why don't you get it? If it wasn't for her I would be happy. I would be the happiest girl in the world but she wants to ruin us. She wants to ruin me. But I know she's not going to make that move, she's not going to stop, and I am not going to wait all my life for her to stop. Maybe it's a sign I have to move on, I don't know." I say bitterly.

"I am sorry to say but the only way to move on is to marry Evan, move away and never talk to Michael again." She says frowning slightly. I gulp in nervousness. Truth is she doesn't know yet about the proposal. No one knows actually, but me and Evan. I turn to look through the window. I don't want her to suspect anything.

"It's the truth." She says, patting my shoulder. Can I keep it for myself? Can I keep this secret away from my best friend? Of course not. I can't hide such important things. What if I decide to say yes? She will have a heart attack if I come up to her one day and tell her Evan and I are going to get married. "Hey... what's wrong?" Phoebe asks me shaking me a little.

I take a deep breath before I decide to speak. "Evan asked me to marry him." I finally say, turning to look at her. Her face expression turned from concerned to completely shocked, and I am not amazed. She surely didn't expect it as much as I did.

"What?" she says. She's practically speechless.

"You heard me. He asked me to marry him yesterday night and that's why he was there last night. The point is I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do and I feel so confused." I say, running a hand through my hair.

"It's not complicated. You just say no and it's done." She says shrugging her shoulders as if it's not such a big deal.

"He will hate me for that." I tell her concerned.

"You will hate yourself sometime for saying yes. Now I don't want to influence you okay? But I am just making sure you don't take decisions you will regret, and that sometime you will hate yourself for making them because there's no coming back. We both know Michael far too well, especially you, so tell me, what would his reaction be?"

I think for a moment for what to say. Michael would be mad of course. Still, what makes her so sure there will be a future for us? "Well he will be mad. He will think I lied to him all along and that I don't want to have a future with him. And maybe he will stop trying." I say sadly. I sigh and shake my head in frustration. "This is awful."

"I know Alex, but you have to choose; an unsure future with Michael, or passing the rest of your life beside Evan?" she says.

"Let's not talk about it anymore." I ask her gently, and she nods understandingly. I hate this situation.

Phoebe and I went for lunch in a fast food before we decided to head back home. I feel like I needed it because I had a great time, and in the end I was able not to think about my problems. I felt alright, and all of this thanks to my best friend. Though, nothing can always be perfect. There will always be something to ruin it, and as I expected, it happened. As soon as I entered in the house, I saw Ashton and Caroline in the living room. What is Caroline doing here?

"What the actual fuck?" Phoebe said. I am sure she was furious.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I said looking over Caroline. My blood was boiling, I couldn't believe it. She had the courage to come back after all she's done and after all she's said. And how did she get in here anyway?

"Alex, I need to talk to you." She said standing up from the couch. Ashton didn't seem the least bit worried for this; he seemed like he didn't care.

"What else do you want to say? Do you want to keep insulting me and my friends? No Caroline, I'm not letting you do this. You've crossed the line once and I am not going to let you do that again." I say harshly.

"I am sorry for all I've done Alex, I take it all back. I never meant to hurt anyone and I never meant to do this to you." She says, and her eyes were filled with tears.

"Yet you did hurt not only me, but everyone in here. And what's done is done. You can't take it back anymore and you can't make me pretend like nothing happened. It's crazy. Do you hear me? It's absolutely crazy."

"But I mean it when I say I am sorry! I know I can't take them back but you have to understand I was jealous of what you all had. You were all happy and had everything you wanted while I had nothing. I felt left out. You had everything. It hurts so bad you know." She said, and she started crying.

"I know better than you how it feels. When you got everything you wanted I was happy for you and never caused problems. I never hurt you the way you hurt me. Not as bad as you did, at least. This is nonsense. You had not valid reason to cause this. You hurt us all for no reason. How am I supposed to feel about it? Every excuse you're trying to find is unacceptable Caroline. You disappointed me." I say frowning. What she did was unforgettable, and I don't know if I can forgive her. It's hard to choose.

"Alex, just give me one chance. One more chance and I swear I am not doing this again. I know jealousy is an awful thing and I know I should be happy when you guys are happy. I've learnt my lesson and I am ready to start again and live with you guys and besides... I can't imagine my life without you all anymore. You are part of my life, you are my family. I was an idiot to push you away and I am sorry about that. I admit I was a total bitch. I am sorry. I really am." She says sighing. She seemed to regret her actions for real. I might forgive her, I might let her stay again here but as soon as she does a wrong move I swear I will kick her out. She's my cousin after all. She's my family, and family comes first, always.

"I will give you a chance." I tell her coldly.

"This means you forgive me?" she smiles.

"No, at least not yet. I give you a chance and see how it goes. If you disappoint me once again I will not talk to you, ever again." I state. Ashton and Phoebe were staring at me blankly. Of course she hurt all of them, but this thing is mostly between me and Caroline. We've always fought but never like this. That's why I wanted to keep my distances, but she kept coming back. Well, seems I have to learn to live with that.

"Thank you Alex." She smiles sweetly, wiping her tears.

"No need to thank me." I say, and walk past her to reach my room.

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ooooooooooohhhhhh

theres a COMEBACK. 

YO.

okay I stop. I think I all delirius because its the first day of school tomorrow.

cries.

okay im not that excited. buttt. who cares.

-Vxx